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Thread: Is it rude to ask for condiments (Tabasco, Ketchup, etc.) at restaurants?

  1. #76
    A*O
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    Maybe it's yet another sign of today's "I'm Entitled To Do Whatever I Want So Screw You" society. When I was growing up things like good manners and how to behave in certain situations, social etiquette if you like, were considered very important. There were certain things You Just Don't Do and one of them was ordering ketchup in a 'proper' restaurant and I make no apology for it.
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    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
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    ^^Agreed. But I think those days are long gone for many people.

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    I think what a lot of chefs forget is that taste is subjective, it's different for each individual. Some people love spicey food, some people love sweets, sane people hate corriander (just kidding!), so whether or not they themselves think the dish perfect, there will always be people who disagree.
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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Well, I agree with you both, but I certainly don't pay enough attention to other tables to pass any judgment! In any case, I cannot fathom what you would order at a upscale restaurant that you would put ketchup on, anyway. But as for me, I feel like there are certain rules of etiquette that I was raised with, but I was also raised not to judge the ways of others around me, so if someone wants ketchup, they certainly should feel free to ask. But I wouldn't, personally.
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A*O View Post
    Maybe it's yet another sign of today's "I'm Entitled To Do Whatever I Want So Screw You" society. When I was growing up things like good manners and how to behave in certain situations, social etiquette if you like, were considered very important. There were certain things You Just Don't Do and one of them was ordering ketchup in a 'proper' restaurant and I make no apology for it.
    i'm probably part of the entitled generation but that's how i was brought up as well. no apologies here either. and i'd like to say i'm not going to judge others but who am i kidding? if i see someone ask for ketchup in a proper restaurant, or even at home but say, on spaghetti, of course i'm judging them. silently maybe, but still judging.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  6. #81
    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
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    I object to the notion that servers are somehow "lesser than" the people they are serving. There seems to be this prevalent idea that people can go into a restaurant and behave any way they choose simply because they have the money to eat at a restaurant. I was a server once, and I have a lot of students who are working as servers, and they come in for some pretty horrific treatment.

    Just because I have $5 or $500 to park my bum in a restaurant seat does not mean I have the right to demean the person bringing me my food. I find that treating people the way you would expect to be treated -- courteously and/or friendly -- usually leads to a pleasant dining experience. I've had servers tell me I'm the only person who's been nice to them that day. Sometimes I'm offered a free drink or dessert or whatever, but that certainly isn't the reason I do it. A good server, as any fine dining restaurant owner/management will tell you, is worth their weight in gold and can enhance your dining experience. That also applies to the lowliest diner.

  7. #82
    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    I agree 100%, PB. Servers can be treated horribly sometimes, which is more the reason why I treat them well. I try not to modify orders, and if my party modifies their orders tremendously or stays at their table for such a time where I know my server has lost another turn on a busy night, I tip accordingly to make up for it. Sometimes extraordinarily well. And I don't mean that as a braggart, I say that because I know how hard it is to work in a restaurant, its not always pleasant and most servers bust their ass to serve people accordingly. I always tip at least 20% unless I feel like the server was absolutely horrible, and I think thats only happened a few times in my life. They still ended up with 15%. When I was dating I could always tell the quality of my date by how he treated our waiter/waitress.
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  8. #83
    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    I agree with both PB and January, serving's hard work. You tend to see people at their most crabby...when they're hungry. Many people put themselves through school waiting tables and others enjoy a fast work pace that keeps them slim. Whatever their reasons, someone's gotta do it, so be kind.
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    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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    Elite Member Aella's Avatar
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    Spot-on post, PB!

    I once had to escort a large group returning to the town of their ancestors for a documentary. They were the most ignorant, entitled and insanely annoying group of people I ever had the misfortune to socialize with, but I'll spare you the long story of my woes in that trip. At the the end of it, they invited me and the cameraman for dinner-and since I was the only one speaking the local language, I translated their orders for them. As soon as the (delicious-looking) foods arrived, those assholes have the nerve to accuse the waiting staff of bringing more than they ordered, in an attempt to scam them out of their money. All with this very 'Lord of Manor speaking to the commoners' attitude, with a generous helping of "You think you can fool ME?"

    I was torn between utter mortification and just taking them all out with the carving knife. Instead, I kept insisting that I remembered the orders, since I gave them myself. And yes, they all kept saying/shouting "Oh, let's get THAT!" at me, but I made a point of repeating it all back to them and getting confirmation.

    They gave up eventually, while all the while muttering about being generous enough to let those restaurant thieves get away with it.

    At that point, I was white as a sheet, and the restaurant owner and waitresses actually invited me back in the kitchen, poured me a free drink, and I spent a good 20 minutes there drinking with the staff and bitching about the people who lacked even the most basic of manners.
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    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
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    ^^And those horror stories aren't that uncommon. I've witnessed a few but thank God I wasn't directly involved. What a nightmare.

  11. #86
    A*O
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    Ironically, I think a lot of people behave like assholes in restaurants because they've never been taught how to behave correctly in those situations. It's a kind of insecurity and men are particularly prone to it I've noticed.
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  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by pacific breeze View Post
    I object to the notion that servers are somehow "lesser than" the people they are serving. There seems to be this prevalent idea that people can go into a restaurant and behave any way they choose simply because they have the money to eat at a restaurant. I was a server once, and I have a lot of students who are working as servers, and they come in for some pretty horrific treatment.

    Just because I have $5 or $500 to park my bum in a restaurant seat does not mean I have the right to demean the person bringing me my food. I find that treating people the way you would expect to be treated -- courteously and/or friendly -- usually leads to a pleasant dining experience. I've had servers tell me I'm the only person who's been nice to them that day. Sometimes I'm offered a free drink or dessert or whatever, but that certainly isn't the reason I do it. A good server, as any fine dining restaurant owner/management will tell you, is worth their weight in gold and can enhance your dining experience. That also applies to the lowliest diner.

    PB, as a server I thank you! Personally, I feel that if someone thinks they are better than me because i'm just a server who just carries plates back and forth (which is bullshit, try serving for 1 day) then I know I'm a better person than them, because I don't frigin judge people, or look down upon them for any reason.

    On topic, I don't care if people drown food in ketchup to eat it, it's not going in my mouth, and trust me I see some weird shit...also, the kitchen doesn't know if I bring ketchup to a table or not, so I don't see them getting offended, although our chef does get offened occasionally..but that's another story.

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    i think it's okay to ask for whatever you'd like, and i agree about tipping well and being kind to the servers, always

  14. #89
    Elite Member lisalucy69's Avatar
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    Of course not. It's my right to enjoy the meal i've paid for. If ketchup or any other sauce is what i like on a certain food, then I feel that is my right to ask for it. Why should i not enjoy my meal as much as anyone else? I have, in the past, waited tables. I know people can be rude and demanding, but asking for condiments is definitely a reasonable request.

  15. #90
    A*O
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    I think we are skirting around the obvious issue here - it's OK to ask for more salt, pepper, lemon juice or perhaps some mustard. It's tacky to ask for ketchup! LOL
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
    Dame Edna Everage

    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

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