Can I just start by saying I have excellent table manners, I hold my knife and fork just as A*O has elegantly displayed for us all. But if I am in a restaurant I am not going to rip a tiny bit of bread, delicately butter the minute piece before eating it, and then repeat the whole palaver all over again. I eat like a human being not a bleeding squirrel !!
EDIT: I've just noticed your English too, you aren't from Henley by any chance are you Lil?