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Thread: Bacon stupidity

  1. #1
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Default Bacon stupidity

    I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon.
    Why? Because bacon is nature’s finest and most nourishing food. Also, because several doubters on the RiffTrax staff had the unmitigated gall to insult bacon by making the outrageous claim that, as good as it is, no one could eat very much of it and live. I can and will. Therefore I will spend the month proving it.
    And I invite any and all of you to join me in my quest. If you do, I’ll certainly share your stories and blog posts.
    Now for the fine print: “Bacon” shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words “American bacon”. No “Canadian bacon”, which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No “tofacon” or any such horror. Just bacon.
    No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature’s finest bacon, all by its dignified self.
    I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as “healthy”. This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.
    I will post as often as is practical and include pictures of my bacons (if you have any favorites and want to send them my way, please do. The photo is of my first batch, Jimmy Dean, but I have on order a nice slab of Nieman’s Ranch and some Nueske’s as well. And tomorrow I’ll make a trip to Tip Top Meats in Carlsbad for some of their fine in-house bacon.) You will just have to take my word that I will not cheat. As it is, I am a fairly committed carnivore and haven’t the slightest doubt that I can do it without difficulty, but I can understand if you’re dubious about my success. Rest assured that I would never sully the good name of bacon by cheating.
    February is bacon stupidity month! Join me!

    Bacon Stupidity

  2. #2
    Elite Member WhoAmI's Avatar
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    Default

    See you in the hospital, loser!

  3. #3
    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
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    Default

    He can eat one piece three times a day..
    Baltimore O's ​Fan!

    I don''t know if she really fucked the board though. Maybe just put the tip in. -Mrs. Dark

  4. #4
    Elite Member Serendipity's Avatar
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    Default

    Ugh, you are what you eat, piggie

    Is it just me, but I can't wrap my head around the concept of syrup over bacon. It just seems wrong.
    It's like you ate too much crazy then puked it all over a post and hit submit - Nancydrew

  5. #5
    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
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    Default

    Beer and bacon.

  6. #6
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Default

    I do not eat pork, but I love bacon so much that every now and then I will have some, and lie to myself and tell myself that it comes from the 'bacon animal' It is easy to lie to myself when it comes to food I love!
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

  7. #7
    Elite Member Shalev's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetie View Post
    Beer and bacon.
    !!!

  8. #8
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Default



    the blog entry is hilarious.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  9. #9
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    BACON!!! He isn't going to make me vomit by eating any "flavored bacon", is he???? mmmmm bacon!
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(•_•)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  10. #10
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    Default

    Yum, maple bacon!!!
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

  11. #11
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    *clears throat* I don't want to have to shoot you....
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(•_•)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  12. #12
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    I'm tired of you maple hatin' emeffers packing heat around here. I can't even bust out my 4-minute Ima kick your ass tirade without fear of being shot.
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

  13. #13
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    blow me...
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(•_•)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  14. #14
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    Sit on it Potsie
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

  15. #15
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    i love bacon, with butter on it. yep. true story
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

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