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Thread: BEAVER ANAL GLANDS in your ice cream and other nasty shit in your food

  1. #1
    Elite Member hustle4alivin's Avatar
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    Angry BEAVER ANAL GLANDS in your ice cream and other nasty shit in your food

    All the Stuff You Don’t Want to Eat…But You Do Anyway

    So, I was watching David Letterman last night because Jamie Oliver was on. I adore him…in a innocent non-stalking kind of way. He is very much to the point, has an interest in making the world a better place AND he is a darn good chef.

    He was talking about why knowing about the food you eat is important..and then he dropped the bomb….Food additives in vanilla ice cream… So what? We all know we eat additives, right? Why research them? The FDA approved them, right?

    Well..the next few words caused me to pause mid chew. Yes. Mid chew.

    “Did you know that there are beaver’s anal glands in vanilla ice cream?” Jamie asked with a smirk. A very smirky smirk.

    I thought it was a joke. Turns out? It’s not. Apparently someone decided that beaver anal glands enhanced sweets, including vanilla ice cream and many raspberry products. The substance can be found on your ice cream as castoreum; if it is in a small enough amount it does not have to be listed.

    Have a little Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla, folks……

    Beaver’s butt might be bad enough but you regularly, happily eat other stuff that is as bad or worse. And with the sketchy disclosure and label laws you don’t have to be told.

    Grab yourself a dish of vanilla ice cream, put a few sprinkles on it, and read on…if you dare.

    Ammonium sulfate

    Ammonium sulfate is most commonly found in fertilizer but may also be found in insecticides, herbicides, fungicides, and as a flame retardant. Oh, and it is a dough enhancer in many commercial breads and rolls.

    L-cysteine

    L-cysteine is also known as cysteine. It is made from human hair, duck feathers, pig bristles and hooves, etc. It is a common ingredient in nutritional supplements but also used as a dough enhancer. Find this yumminess in many prepackaged breads including Safeway Brand, King’s Hawaiian Bread, White Castle buns, etc.) This may be listed because it is often used in large enough amounts for it to be required. If you are concerned buy Kosher products. It is considered unclean (DUH!) and cannot be in anything Kosher.

    Silicon dioxide

    Sand. Silica. Found in cement, space shuttle panels, and your pre- grated cheese. No wonder we weigh more. We have cement in our guts.

    Propylene glycol

    You may know propylene glycol as anti-freeze; you know, the stuff that you have to be careful that your dog doesn’t lap up when you have a leak? It snuggles in low fat and extra creamy ice creams right next to the beaver butt molecules.

    Methylparaben

    Find methylparaben in many wines, soft drinks, and fruit juice from concentrate… Enjoy it knowing that the additive originates in the vaginas of dogs when they are in heat. Yummers.

    Dimethylpolysiloxane

    Dimethylpolysiloxane is an anticaking agent used in caulk, shampoo, lubricant, heat resistant tiles, and your McDonald’s fries, McNuggets, and powdered diet drinks.

    Titanium dioxide

    Titanium dioxide? Sure! Let me paint my ceiling and then I will slurp some down in skim milk. Why skim milk? Because natural skimmed milk has a weird light blue color (it used to be called blue milk and ONLY fed to pigs back on the farm) and the titanium dioxide makes it an appetizing white. It doesn’t have to be listed on the label..but if you drink skim milk and it isn’t blue…well, you can always use the extra to put a new coat of white on the ceiling.

    Microcrystalline cellulose also listed as crystalline cellulose

    Merely wood pulp, folks, no need to get alarmed. It adds fiber and can also be used to lure beavers to ice cream plants..

    Shellac

    Secretions from the female Lac beetle used to finish wood products…Skittles…and those cute, colored jimmies you sprinkle on your beaver butt ice cream.

    Carmine

    A natural red food color derived from crushing thousands of beetles and boiling them. Also known as cochineal. Best of all it is all natural.

    Are there more? Certainly this is a small list.

    For those of you who believe that GMOs and High Fructose Corn Syrup are save because the FDA says they are? Enjoy.

    AND, finally for those of you who think that the beaver anal gland is an exaggeration? Check it out Safety Assessment of Castoreum Extract as a Food Ingredient So glad that the government found it safe for human consumption.

    The only way to step around these items is eating foods that are Kosher. Honestly, I don’t know if some of the above are allowed to be in organic foods or not. I mean..I know cochineal (carmine) is used in organic foods so why not beaver glands?

    I know it takes time to research what you eat, to cook fresh foods, and to be informed but it really is important for you health, and for the peace of mind of beavers everywhere.

    What I want to know is who grew up and decided they wanted the job removing secretions from the vaginas of dogs? Because that is just weird.

    If you need to bleach you brain after reading this.. here is my Triple French Vanilla Ice Cream recipe … anal gland free.

    Last edited by hustle4alivin; January 13th, 2012 at 10:12 PM.
    I'm fresh outta fucks to give, and I don't see any new fucks appearing on the horizon...

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    Elite Member Seth82's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kat Scorp View Post
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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Henry, I feel ILL....


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    Elite Member Mivvi21's Avatar
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    Omfg.

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    Gold Member Nevan's Avatar
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    Ew. That's just nauseating.

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    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
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    Holy shit, that is DISGUSTING!
    Did you know that an anagram for "Conscious Uncoupling" is "Iconic Uncool Pus Guns"? - MohandasKGanja

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i knew about cochineal/carmine. that stuff's been around since ancient egypt and greece and i don't have a problem with it. as for beaver butt glands, isn't that what musk is? we've been using that in perfumes forever anyway, and lots of famous perfumes use it - it's in your chanel, lancôme, etc... it's also traditional and has been around forever, so even if you don't eat vanilla ice cream, if you're into good perfume you've been spraying it on your body. big fucking deal.

    i'm more concerned about a lot of the other additives.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
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    Beaver ass juice in perfume is one thing, eating that shit is a whole other story.
    Did you know that an anagram for "Conscious Uncoupling" is "Iconic Uncool Pus Guns"? - MohandasKGanja

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    eh, i'm not really bothered by it. it's been around forever and at least it's natural. it was also used in medicine for centuries.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member nancydrew's Avatar
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    So who wants ice cream?
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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Yuk!!!
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    Elite Member darksithbunny's Avatar
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    Why just vanilla ice cream and not the rest? So it's not in the other flavors?

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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    I'm not really bothered by it either. Well maybe the titanium dioxide in skim milk. Totally unnecessary, I'd drink light blue milk, that would be kinda cool.

    And if you think about it, most of these things are in tiny enough quanitities that they don't even have to be labeled, plus they're only in processed foods. So more reason to chill out on the processed foods, or actually avoid them altogether. It's what everyone knows already: it's better for you to eat natural, unprocessed things anyway.

    Oh and imo this
    For those of you who believe that GMOs and High Fructose Corn Syrup are safe because the FDA says they are? Enjoy.
    is what people should really be worried about.

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    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
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    Oh well, we're all going to die someday. I guess I'll keep eating ice cream and stop thinking about Beaver assholes.
    Did you know that an anagram for "Conscious Uncoupling" is "Iconic Uncool Pus Guns"? - MohandasKGanja

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    Gold Member eboni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelais View Post
    Beaver ass juice in perfume is one thing, eating that shit is a whole other story.
    This.

    And, I often make ice cream from scratch and it is delicious just as it is (and sinfully rich, smooth and sweet). Why these manufacturers think they have to season our foods and enhance it is something I do not understand. Any of the stuff we buy in the store can just about be made at home without all that grossness. What they are actually doing is pumping up their bottom line with cheap fillers. Consumers are expendable and producers don't give a care about our health. We are the ones who now have to spend time deciphering the labeling on foods, just as Beeyotch says.
    ...Stopped smoking on March 8, 2011. Was trying to put a fancy ticker in my signature but it didn't work...

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