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Thread: Scariest New Restaurant Foods. Fried cheese stick sandwich? Yeah, I'd have a bite.

  1. #1
    fgg
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    Default Scariest New Restaurant Foods. Fried cheese stick sandwich? Yeah, I'd have a bite.

    Scariest New Restaurant Foods

    There’s an arms race going on, and it could mean disaster for your waistline.

    But this terrifying competition to build the biggest, scariest weapons of mass destruction isn’t happening between the United States and Russia, or on the Korean peninsula, or among angry rivals somewhere in the Middle East. It’s happening between America’s restaurants—every one of them, it seems, is eager to show it has the biggest, scariest, most destructive new food in the marketplace. And the unsuspecting victims of this Strangelovian contest? You and me.

    See, even the most well-established restaurant chains can’t rest on their laurels, serving the same old standbys that we’ve loved since we were kids. They have to keep us interested and attracted with shiny new bells and whistles. And since no one has invented, say, a new kind of potato, they’ve got to go with the next best thing: gimmicky entrees with terrifyingly complicated ingredient lists and rapidly expanding serving sizes. It wasn’t enough that pizza makers started putting cheese inside the crust! Kentucky Fried Chicken saw that and ramped up its own destructive powers, by making a sandwich in which the bread is replaced by slabs of fried chicken. Then a few major league ballparks started serving their burgers on doughnuts instead of buns. What’s next: fried Fluffernutter franks?


    Almost. Take a look at what’s being whipped up in the labs of the mad fast-food scientists, compliments of the upcoming Eat This, Not That! 2011 book, and be afraid—be very afraid!

    Scary Meal #5
    Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt with wavy fries and marinara
    1,260 calories
    63 g fat (21 g saturated, 1 g trans)
    3,010 mg sodium

    CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 18 T.G.I. Friday’s Frozen Cheddar & Bacon Potato Skins

    Apparently, Denny’s deemed the classic grilled cheese too boring for our novelty seeking taste buds, so they fixed it by driving four deep-fried cheese sticks into the core of the sandwich. So what you end up with are cheese sticks with extra cheese between slabs of buttered bread and a pile of fried potatoes on the side. If Denny’s was serious about improving the grilled cheese, they would have skipped the novelty and brought in big-flavor ingredients like sautéed mushrooms or sliced figs. But, of course, if they did that, they might not be able to sell this entire meal for $4. Here’s to cheap food and expensive health care!

    Eat This Instead!
    Denny's BLT with Hash Browns
    730 calories
    47 g fat (10.5 g saturated)
    1,270 mg sodium


    Scary Meal #4
    IHOP New York Cheesecake Pancakes
    1,270 calories

    CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 28 McDonald's Chicken McNuggets

    Further blurring the line between dessert and breakfast, IHOP has infused their fluffy flapjacks with gooey hunks of cheesecake. Next thing you know they’ll be serving breakfast with big scoops of ice cream and chocolate syrup. The best breakfast is one with protein and fresh fruit, but if you’re going to go for the carb-heavy indulgence, there’s a better way to do it. Don’t make it a habit, but IHOP’s Chocolate Chip Pancakes will save you 660 calories.

    Eat This Instead!
    Chocolate Chip Pancakes
    610 calories


    Scary Meal #3
    Friendly’s Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt
    1,500 calories
    97 g fat (38 g saturated)
    2,090 mg sodium

    CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 15 Snickers Kudos Granola Bars

    Is this a joke? Because it should be. Where a normal hamburger has buns, this one has grilled cheese sandwiches. Yes, that’s two grilled-cheese sandwiches with one hunk of ground beef wedged between them. Other iterations of this sandwich have been dubbed “fatty melts”—for obvious reasons. They have twice as much cheese and bread as a regular cheeseburger.

    Eat This Instead!
    Grilled Cheese
    790 calories
    37 g fat (12 g saturated
    1,280 mg sodium

    Scary Meal #2
    Uno Chicago Grill Lobster BLT Thin Crust Pizza
    1,530 calories
    87 g fat (30 g saturated)
    3,480 mg sodium

    CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 51 Nabisco Ginger Snap Cookies

    On its own, lobster is sweet, healthy, and loaded with lean protein. Yet, for some reason, restaurants never seem to know what to do with it. Case in point: Lobster BLT Pizza, an amalgam of foods that don’t quite fit together: One is seafood, one is diner grub, and one is an Italian-American hybrid. We're all for trying new things, but not when the toll is 75 percent of your day’s calories and 1½ day’s worth of sodium and saturated fat.

    Eat This Instead!
    Lobster Wrap with side of roasted vegetables
    570 calories
    30.5 g fat (4 g saturated)
    1,660 mg sodium

    Scary Meal #1
    Applebee’s Provolone-Stuffed Meatballs with Fettuccine
    1,550 calories
    97 g fat (46 g saturated)
    3,910 mg sodium

    CALORIE EQUIVALENT: 148 Whoppers Malted Milk Balls

    Yes, America has a cheese fetish, but this is just excessive. Cheese-filled meatballs? It’s like a beef-based Gusher, a sort of meaty water balloon of fat. Especially problematic is the fact that said meatballs are served on a bed of fettuccine Alfredo, which is basically flat noodles basting in oil, butter, and—yes—cheese. Cut more than a thousand calories by switching dishes. A smart swap like this one (and the hundreds of others in Eat This, Not That!) a couple times a week and you can lose 2½ pounds a month without ever dieting!

    Eat This Instead!
    Spicy Shrimp Diavolo
    500 calories
    10 g fat (3.5 g saturated)
    1,910 mg sodium

    Scariest New Restaurant Foods

  2. #2
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Cheesecake pancakes sounds freaking awesome!!!

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    fgg
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    honestly, if i ate meat i would try a bite of all of these things.

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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    I've had those IHOP cheesecake pancakes and they are dangerously delicious. Thankfully, it was a stack of two and I shared them with my husband. But yeah, not something to get used to.

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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    I'd do it. I'd try all of them. Mmmmm....
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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    Cheesecake pancakes sounds freaking awesome!!!
    **wipes drool off computer screen**

    No shit.

    **Googles nearest IHOP**
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    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    The only reason I don't eat crap like this is because my metabolism is too slow, I feel like crap when I do, and I don't want heart disease. Otherwise, I'd be all over it.

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    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    You cannot put this in your body. We are what we eat but nobody believes it. This kind of food makes me ill when I look at it. I can't be the only one.

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    no thanks, i'll stick to real food.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    When I was a teen a grilled cheeseburger was one of my all time favorite things, BUT the burger went in a single grilled cheese...that version looks disturbing.

    And lobster, blt pizza sounds like one of the best things I've ever heard of, ooooh and I have to go to Chicago on business next month.
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    Elite Member Quazar's Avatar
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    It's scary how relatively normal these all seem, even though this is not how I eat. When the title said "Scariest Foods", I was waiting for some Fried Sheep's Testicles or Warthog Eyes Alfredo.

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    Elite Member darksithbunny's Avatar
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    See you guys later...I am going to IHOP!!

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    Elite Member cupcake's Avatar
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    I have zero desire for anything like that. My taste buds would be killed off.
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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Everything else up there doesn't even tempt me but I'm telling you guys, those cheesecake pancakes are worth it! It's little bite-sized pieces of cheesecake scattered in the pancake batter, it's delicious but not as cloying as just cheesecake by itself.

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    When I look at food like that I picture it sticking to my ass. I try not to eat at Ihop, and if we do I indulge myself with the chicken spinach mushroom crepe... I still feel bad after eating it, because I know it is filled with 10000000000 calories.
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