I see why Weight Watchers had to reinvent their foods! Click the link for more of these delicious meals.
Weight Watchers recipe cards, circa 1974
Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974 I found them while helping my parents clean out their basement a few years ago. They were neatly arranged in their own plastic file box. Plenty of the dishes seemed normal enough, but as I flipped through them, some of the recipes began to alarm me. And then I found the card for the "Rosy Perfection Salad."
I fell over. Like I Iaughed so hard I started coughing and I fell back on the floor and I waved the card at my mom, who just rolled her eyes. "Can I please have these? Please?" I begged. "What do you want them for?" she asked. "To cook?" "No," I said. She let me have them. I think they might have been my grandma's, but she never copped to actually buying them. Nobody else did, either.
These cards mystify me. None of them have calorie or nutrition information of any kind, and in some instances it's hard to tell what's dietetic about the recipes at all, except that they're unspeakably grim. And yet also, completely insane. They appear to be from a much kookier era of Weight Watchers. There's a certain serve-it-at- your-next-key-party freakiness to a lot of these dishes.
Dehydrated onion flakes are in almost everything here. Apparently Weight Watchers dieticians depended heavily on dried onion flakes, and pimientos, too.
They also had a prop department that was clearly out of control. Oh, you'll see.
As far as I know, I was never served any of these dishes as a child. I probably would have repressed the memory, anyway.
This feature owes a great spiritual debt to sites like Cate's Garage Sale Finds and especially James Lilek'sGallery of Regrettable Food.
I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
I don't think you'll ever be. None of us will. No. No way.
My guess is they tried being consistent with the plural at first, and then decided that SNACKS ON STICKS sounded too disturbing. Like Apocalypse Now food or something.
This is frozen coffee, people. Yeah, it almost sounds kind of good, until you freeze a whole bunch and take them out and look at them and hit a few of them together and hear them go thunk thunk, and say, "oh fuck this shit," and drop the whole tray on the floor in disgust.
You could eat this log. Or you could stick your hand in a rusty kitchen grinder. Yeah, have fun.
These are the saddest diet beverages ever.
The one on the right is skim milk and orange pulp. The one on the left is made with water, sherry extract, and two beef bouillon cubes.
Well, there's also celery in it. Oh, and SELF-LOATHING.
Yes, let's have these in brandy snifters. Let's just tip our heads back and let the chunks slide in.
The time you spent eating these is time you'll want back at the very end of your life. That's why they're served with a clock.
Hey, Phil! Hey, Rhonda! We're so glad you could come over! Rhonda, you sit by Ted--and Phil, why don't you sit by me.
You know how we play doubles in tennis? And sometimes we, you know, switch? Well, it's 1974 and all, and... oh, yes, it's a little forward of us, but... well, why don't you two try my Melon Mousse and think about it? Okay?