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Thread: Average Lady's Handbag Contains $2K Worth Of Crap, Says Dubious Survey

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Feb 2007

    Default Average Lady's Handbag Contains $2K Worth Of Crap, Says Dubious Survey

    Average Lady's Handbag Contains $2K Worth Of Crap, Says Dubious Survey

    A British luxury retailer has surveyed its female customers and found that every day, women tote around almost $2,000 worth of junk on their arms. Yep those big ass purses combined with all of the lady flotsam contained therein are worth more than most people's monthly rent. I guess I'm doing a shitty job at being a woman, because my purse is filled with trash.

    According to the UK's Telegraph, retailer John Lewis came to the ridiculous-sounding $2,000 figure by compiling a list of "handbag essentials" and adding the cost of the list to the cost of the company's most popular handbag. Here's a partial list:

    - Ted Baker black tote, $400
    -John Lewis Emma purse, $48.14
    - Somerset by Alice Temperley scarf, $78.63
    - 64GB iPad mini, $800
    - John Lewis leather gloves, $56.16
    - Ray-Ban sunglasses, $208
    - Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, $88.25

    "Essentials." It seems like it's "essential" that women carrying these monstrous bags must be wealthy enough to carry around an $80 scarf like it's just normal.

    Curious, I went to my own purse to determine if my "essentials" were anything like the fancy lady essentials over in The Motherland.

    • TopShop purse I bought because I spilled salsa on my other purse that I liked better: $75
    • A&D ointment that I'm supposed to be continually applying to the tattoo I got the other week: $4.99
    • 10 bobby pins still on the Goody cardboard: maybe $1?
    • Shitty, shitty looking red leather wallet I bought in Mexico City in 2009 but haven't thrown away because ugh it still works perfectly fine: $sentimental aka like $10
    • Small black business card case containing outdated business cards and my dad's press card from 2006: $15
    • Oh my god a pair of clean underwear what the fuck am I doing with my life (I think I was planning on going to the gym? My god.): $12
    • Maybelline Great Lash mascara in Very Black: $5.99
    • L'oreal eye shadow palate #527: $7
    • Burt's Bees tinted lip balm: $5
    • Photo booth picture of me and two other lady writers from the Center for Reproductive Rights gala.
    • 1 emergency tampon $0.25
    • Nike performance socks $14
    • 50 gum wrappers: $0
    • Dozens and dozens of coffee receipts: $0

    TOTAL: $145.23. When you toss in my cell phone (the British figure doesn't include the cost of a cell phone), that total ticks up a bit but it's still less than a quarter of what I'm SUPPOSED to be carrying around.

    I asked Kate Dries to send me her bag total, and she wasn't much better at lady-ing than I am.


    I should also note that Kate's purse is like three times the size of mine. I should also apologize to Ms. Dries for outing her as a mom umbrella thief to the whole internet. Sorry, Kate.

    So, LADIES! Let's talk purses. Whose is most disgusting? Who among us is the fanciest? And does this survey of "handbag essentials" sound like some romcom protagonist fantasy bullshit or what?
    palta likes this.

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  2. #2
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Burning Down Your Windmill


    This interested me so I went through my own purse. I'm not going to list everything, but if you include cell phone the value is about $900.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  3. #3
    Elite Member Quazar's Avatar
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    Oct 2005


    I may actually have over $1500 worth of stuff in my purse. What makes up much of that amount is my pair of prescription sunglasses, which are progressives. The rest would be my iPhone, wallet, money and various other things.
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    A*O is offline
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    Being Paula


    No comment.
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    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    On the Hellmouth


    Bag $60 on sale
    Sunglasses $450 retail but I won them on a game show so $0
    iPod $300, phone $450 (gift), iPad $550
    Clarins hand cream $35 (gift)
    Tube of pawpaw ointment $5, Burt's Bees lip shimmer $10, lipstick $20 (gift)
    tampons, headache pills, dental floss - say $20
    Silver pen (also from a game show) I dunno, $50?
    Plus a whole lot of worthless junk. I really need to clean out my bag.

    so yeah the total value is around $2000 just because of all the gizmos I carry and my generous friends who give me nice gifts. And my mad trivia skills.
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  6. #6
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Burning Down Your Windmill


    Were we supposed to add the cost of the bag? Then my total is about $1500.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  7. #7
    Elite Member Love love's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    So Cal


    Bag $350
    Dior sunglasses $300
    Dior lipgloss $28
    iPhone $300
    Dooney & Bourke wristlet that i use as a wallet that is so embarrassingly old and dirty cause i've had since college. FMV $1 at best
    Purse hook/hanger $10
    16538296571 old receipts and random pieces of scratch paper that i write notes and grocery lists on

    i guess i'd round my off to about $1000

  8. #8
    Elite Member choozen1ne's Avatar
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    Oct 2005


    Bag - Coach $450
    Scarf Accessory $98
    Wallet Kate Spade- $198
    Pencil Case-Michael Kors $98 -I use it to carry my Epi-Pen and a Marc Jacobs Daisey Roller ball perfume
    Make-Up Bag-Coach $98 contents of make-up bag $150 - I have about 7-10 lip glosses or lipsticks in my bag at a time and a few other make-up items
    Small Wrist-let - Coach $78
    I-phone -$400 , ear-buds $50 , phone charger $30
    Coach Keys chains-$50 and $40

    And I normally have a few random pieces of jewelry and a bag of almonds
    Total round $2000 and I am a little embarrassed to admit that

  9. #9
    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
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    Uhmm, I collect handbags, and my usual bag is one of my Balenciaga bags, my bags are worth more than their contents by far. I have some nice sunglasses, I think they cost around $300, and my wallet (idk how much it cost, I had to import it from the UK which added to the cost--but I really liked this wallet!), a scarf ($40), some lip gloss, a city map, a nail file, my camera (maybe $200?), my cheap-ass cell phone that I got for free when we signed up ($30?). I guess that amount is about right for me, but only when I am carrying one of my more expensive bags, depending on where I am going I will switch it up. I have some canvas totes that I love to death and they cost about $10. I have always collected bags but they used to all be vintage and cheap, I didn't start purchasing luxury bags (some vintage too) until I was in my mid thirties.

  10. #10
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    Somewhere been 'General Confusion' and 'Total WTF?'


    Ummm, about 40?

    Battered handbag from the market.
    Various items of make up, some beyond all usefulness.
    Two spare plastic lighters in case my zippo runs out.
    Two pens that I must have liberated from the Bloke (company logo on them)
    Spare insulin pen in case he forgets his.
    Mini bag with spare insulin cartridge, needles and squit pills.
    Half a six blister packet of paracetamol.
    Compact mirror (gift)
    Hairbrush and spare elastics.
    One tube of hand and nail cream.
    Tobacco tin.
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  11. #11
    Elite Member Geest's Avatar
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    LOL, need to convert into USD, basically the most expensive item is my smartphone $148, the rest is all under $10 and the bag itself was a gift, approx. $19. I don't have any make-up but plenty of remedy for cuts and scrapes (incl. band aids) for the boys. My wallet was $10 i think. Altogether, even on a heavy day I wouldn't go over $250

  12. #12
    Elite Member palta's Avatar
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    Mar 2013


    The priciest item in my bag is a bus card with $50 in credit.
    The rest, including wallet, walkman, cellphone, tampons, assorted pills, lipbalm and keys are about $50.

  13. #13
    Hit By Ban Bus!
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    Oct 2005


    I think counting the cost of my bag, is about $350 or so. All I carry in mine is my wallet, cellphone, lighter, pen, lip balm, and a couple of tootsie pops.

  14. #14
    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    the sin bin


    I've got five condoms in my purse. Not having STDs = priceless.
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  15. #15
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    May 2006


    Cheap date. -525

    Furla shoulder bag - 300? it's 6 years old.
    Estee Lauder gold croc compact - 40
    Tape measure - 10
    lipstick, eye pencil, lip gloss - 40
    Pens and pencils - Stolen
    Sunglasses - 20
    Reading glasses - 100
    Appt book - 10
    Notebook - 2
    Cell phone - free with upgrade!
    Wallet - 25

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