Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 38
Like Tree21Likes

Thread: Strapless Wedding Dresses, We Are on to Your Bullshit

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Acerbia
    Posts
    33,908

    Default Strapless Wedding Dresses, We Are on to Your Bullshit

    It's not a secret that strapless bridal dresses are about as ubiquitous as that scene in movies where the officiant asks people in attendance at a wedding to speak up or forever hold their peace and someone speaks up, with comical results. But why? Strapless gowns are nearly universally unflattering, they're tough to keep on, and they look more like a bridal uniform for a woman marching into marriagebattle with her plastic cakemate groom than a unique expression of a woman's style. It seems that finally brides are starting to notice, and small numbers of them are staging a revolt. But will recent resistance be enough to end the iron-fisted rule of the strapless bridal gown?

    Slate's Katherine Goldstein noticed what she calls "the tyranny of the strapless gown" when she began dress hunting for her own wedding. She's not a person with terribly unique proportions, and never had difficulty shopping for clothes in the past, but knew that strapless gowns weren't her thing. And finding a bridal dress that wasn't strapless was much more difficult than she expected.

    Stymied, she searched for answers why are 75% of gowns strapless when white strapless gowns look weird on about 95% of people?

    Some designers theorized that it's a demand issue brides interested in following tradition find themselves hemmed into having a floor length gown, but they still want to feel beautiful on their Big Day, and so they opt for strapless, skin-exposing numbers in an effort to avoid dowdiness. But I find that difficult to believe. Sexy Bride Disease is a real thing that affects real people, but women aren't that oblivious about what looks good on them. Strapless dresses, as Goldstein points out, can lead to armpit overhang, to uniboob, to "stick arms," to ham hock arms, to making otherwise perfectly beautiful women who look stunning in nearly every other clothing style look doughy.

    Goldstein uncovered another, more insidious theory in her truth quest: Designers prefer to make bridal gowns strapless because they're easier. Sleeves are tricky, and dresses without them are much more quick and painless to alter. Less time, less thought, more ability to crank out more dresses, that they will charge women an arm, a leg, and a collarbone for because they're wedding dresses.

    So, let me get this straight: designers already charge a metric fuckton for wedding dresses, way more than they charge for regular, non-wedding dresses that happen to come in white, and they're cutting corners by making them in the style that's the least challenging for them to fit to brides? And that style just happens to be almost universally unflattering? Oh, hell no. This ends here, strapless gowns.

    I'm allegedly planning a wedding (I say "allegedly" because I've been engaged for several months now and every time acquaintances ask me if we've set a date yet, I make the sort of face someone might make if they'd been ask to clean up several piles of fresh, still-warm cat vomit) that will probably take place toward the end of next year. I'm completely dreading the entire process. It's not that I don't want to be married or have friends and family gather in a festive setting, but I don't want to shop, to shell out, to spend way too much time thinking about clothes and hair and makeup. I'm not very princessy, I don't like being photographed (unless I am three glasses of pinot grigio in and inside a photo booth), and I hate spending money on things I think aren't necessary. And I, like Katherine Goldstein, do not want a strapless dress.

    So I'm not even going to bother with bridal salons the idea of paying four figures for a dress that's totally not my style that I'll wear once makes me break out in hives. I'm going to take my practical ass to a regular old store that sell regular old dresses and buy a cap sleeved number in cream so that my paleness against a white gown doesn't make me look like I'm dying of consumption in the Moulin Rouge. And if anyone who attends my nuptials has a problem with that, then I'm afraid they are no longer welcome at the cake table.

    Future brides, take note: you don't have to blindly follow the cruel way of the strapless gown. You have a choice. You can acknowledge that you're one of the 99% who does not look awesome in a strapless wedding gown. You can say "no" to the dress.


    Strapless Wedding Dresses, We Are on to Your Bullshit
    Fran likes this.
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  2. #2
    fgg
    fgg is offline
    Elite Member fgg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    30,807

    Default

    i happen to look awesome in strapless anything because i have nice shoulders, good boobs and thin arms.
    sluce, eboni and shedevilang like this.
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  3. #3
    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Out There
    Posts
    38,861

    Default

    I hate strapless because I'm larger chested and hate having to worry about something slipping. I know that if it fits perfectly, it shouldn't slip, but still. Plus, I don't like my upper arms enough to show them off.

    I've seen some beautiful sleeveless wedding gowns, but I prefer sleeves, and if I ever get hitched and go for formal, it'll have sleeves.

  4. #4
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Hanging with the raisin girls
    Posts
    13,485

    Default

    I got talked into sleeveless by the bridal shop owner. He said I was made for it. The dress I fell in love with had sleeves. I still regret not going with the one I loved.

  5. #5
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Acerbia
    Posts
    33,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    I hate strapless because I'm larger chested and hate having to worry about something slipping. I know that if it fits perfectly, it shouldn't slip, but still. Plus, I don't like my upper arms enough to show them off.

    I've seen some beautiful sleeveless wedding gowns, but I prefer sleeves, and if I ever get hitched and go for formal, it'll have sleeves.

    They can slip anyway. Believe me. I've been working on clothes for 20 years. It's just physics.

    I don't normally pick strapless because I don't like to have to think about clothing once I've put it on, so anything that needs adjusting during wearing annoys me.

    I am sooooo tired of seeing it on brides. Cookie cutter. And the article is right about it being the cheapest design to produce, which is why it is now harder to find other options.
    Last edited by witchcurlgirl; May 18th, 2012 at 01:48 PM.
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  6. #6
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    19,025

    Default

    I'm old and old fashioned. I think wedding dresses shouldn't be bareback or strapless. JMHO.
    Palermo and Bluebonnet like this.
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

  7. #7
    Elite Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    3,808

    Default

    When I watch Say Yes to the Dress with my daughter I am often struck by how many brides seem determined to wear strapless dresses even when it's totally unflattering. I understand wanting to show off cleavage, chest, and back, but you can do that without going totally strapless and it makes for some pretty styles. Interesting to read that they are so much cheaper to make--that explains the trend--but unimaginative and boring now.

  8. #8
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    42,527

    Default

    I am so sick of strapless wedding dresses. The Bride spend most of her time hitching the dress up.
    Lalique and Fran like this.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  9. #9
    czb
    czb is offline
    Elite Member czb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    left coast
    Posts
    13,922

    Default

    i want to give a big VOUCH to this article. when i was shopping for my wedding dress >6 years ago, it was impossible to find anything but strapless. strapless would look fine on me but i wanted to be comfortable and not yanking at my bodice. i had to have a dress made because all the dresses i found in stores - and i'm talking mid-scale to saks - were strapless.

  10. #10
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    17,107

    Default

    I loved mine. The material was gorgeous and the seamstress did an amazing job. We danced and I never once had to adjust my gown. I would wear it again in a heartbeat.

  11. #11
    Elite Member whitetigeress's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    West coast of Canada, eh
    Posts
    2,779

    Default

    I think the best dress for each bride is the one that works for them. Not the one that is the current fad.
    After all, it is their special day. A day of happiness!
    Bluebonnet likes this.

  12. #12
    A*O
    A*O is offline
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! A*O's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Being Paula
    Posts
    30,496

    Default

    If you have the right body for it then go with it. HOWEVER, many delusional bridezilla manatees sincerely believe that nobody will notice the rolls of overflowing flab. If it looked good in the bridal magazine it won't necessarily look good on you, love.
    yanna likes this.
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
    Dame Edna Everage

    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

  13. #13
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Acerbia
    Posts
    33,908

    Default

    ^ There's a comment at the original article that was written by exactly that girl. I'll just leave this here:

    I don't actually agree that strapless dresses look horrible on "95%" of women. I actually think that one of the things that makes the expense of the wedding dress worth it is that they look amazing on everyone. I tried on about two dozen dresses and they all looked SPECTACULAR on me, even the strapless ones. And I weigh 300 pounds! It's something about the way they're made I guess, they are just ridiculously flattering.
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  14. #14
    Elite Member dolem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,905

    Default

    I'm sorry to say, but strapless dresses do not look good on women who are 300 lbs. It really does depend on your proportions, but if you are overweight they don't look good.

    I wore strapless at my wedding 7 years ago. I just went back and looked at pictures. I still think I look good in it, though I was really skinny because I had been sick before the wedding for several months. Not sure what I would choose now. I actually loved Kate Middleton's wedding dress with her full sleeves. It was very beautiful and, honestly, much more flattering to the average woman.
    Fran likes this.

  15. #15
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    17,107

    Default

    My SIL is well over 300 lbs and she insisted there were no gowns for her with sleeves. When I showed her an entire wall of them in a store, she pretended she didn't hear me.
    sputnik and Lobelia like this.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •