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Thread: Tess Smith

  1. #1
    Elite Member moomies's Avatar
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    Default Tess Smith

    I have no idea who this is but she's as bad, if not worse, as Bai Ling.




    http://entertainment.msn.com/photos/...ry=9566#photos
    Sheet Crock: Like you, we have absolutely no idea who Tess Smith is. Although she claims to be a screenwriter, our intensive two minutes of research failed to turn up any credits of substance. Still, she makes a valiant attempt to grab the spotlight at the Emmys by sleazing up the red carpet in this lurid loincloth-like creation that shows just what a girl can do with a bed sheet, a pair of scissors and a deep-seated need for attention. The ensemble is a carefully orchestrated catastrophe from the tip of Smith's peroxide pixie cut to middle of her pierced navel to the bottom of her clear heels, the class-act footwear of choice for exotic dancers and working girls the world over.

    If you think it's crazy, you ain't seen a thing. Just wait until we're goin down in flames.

  2. #2
    Elite Member muchlove's Avatar
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    She's some kind of nutjob attention whore. This is her at another event:


  3. #3
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    Jesus christ why does she even bother putting clothes on, skank!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  4. #4
    Bronze Member Little Weasel's Avatar
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    Ewww, now I wish my name wasn't Tess.

  5. #5
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! ourmaninBusan's Avatar
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    Amusing quote:


    "Although she claims to be a screenwriter, our intensive two minutes of research
    failed to turn up any credits of substance."


    She "claims to be a screenwriter"?

    That's dumb. Nobody brags about being a screenwriter,
    because writers are treated like sh**. Brag about being a
    producer or a director.

    As for the outfit -- she's 22 (or thereabouts, I guess),
    a peroxide blonde and thin. Why shouldn't she wear an outfit like that?
    Last edited by ourmaninBusan; October 16th, 2005 at 12:09 AM.

    ♫` ∴|| ~∞≠∝ ♫♪ $ -4C

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    Elite Member olivia720's Avatar
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    actually she's employed by the "attention seeking nutjob whore" angency, LLC.

  7. #7
    Bronze Member sarahphim's Avatar
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    She's 22?!?!? Lord, she looks older than that to me!

  8. #8
    Gold Member lennonfan's Avatar
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    She aspires to be Bai Ling but she just doesn't have Bai's flair!

  9. #9
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! ourmaninBusan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lennonfan View Post
    She aspires to be Bai Ling but she just doesn't have Bai's flair!
    I think my sarcasm meter just exploded.

    BTW, Bai Ling's look is all over major cities in Asia;
    they buy things without thinking of how they'll all look
    as an ensemble. And they pile on accessories ad nauseum.

    ♫` ∴|| ~∞≠∝ ♫♪ $ -4C

  10. #10
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    I wonder if she gets a discount on her clothes b/c so little actual fabric is used.

  11. #11
    Elite Member OoOitzCathyOoO's Avatar
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    I think a bikini would of been more covering than that dress.

  12. #12
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    I hope the wind doesn't get up all we'll be seeing her muff!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  13. #13
    Silver Member britlitgal's Avatar
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    ourmaninbusan: love your father ted!!!

    she'd better be careful. in that one pic, she's blowing a kiss and her clothes almost fell off.

    ROFL about the bai ling comments...yeah, really. except one of bai ling's legwarmers is about the extent of the fabric in this chick's entire ensemble.
    All this can be yours for only $19.95!

  14. #14
    Gold Member ohmygoodness's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tess Smith

    Sorry to be bringing this thread back up from the dead, but I found something interesting:

    http://www.tesss.com/

    Her website.

    And I read somewhere else that she did in fact possess a ticket to the Emmy's, but wasn't supposed to be on the red carpet as that is reserved for nominees, presenters, and their guests!

  15. #15
    Elite Member dakodas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tess Smith

    Her waxing bill alone must be astronomical.

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