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Thread: Appearance on Dr. Phil show leads to child abuse charge against Alaska woman

  1. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    Wahh. I got spanked, cracked across the butt with a belt, soap in the mouth and all the rest of it. I didn't grow up hating my parents.

    Although it was funny when my mother tried to tan my hide at 12, and i yanked the belt out of her hand and chased her around with it, both of us ending up laughing
    I got beat quite a lot too but and i'm not one of those people against beating your kids but what this women is doing is too much. I actually agreed with the earlier posts in defense of the lady until I saw the video.

  2. #107
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    I think the main thing is whether or not a kid knows/feels that s/he is loved by his/her parents. Seems like a lot of the hate comes more from feeling unloved on a daily basis than being spanked. I guess it could be argued that spanking could be a big factor in a child feeling unloved to begin with. This is just one of those issues where it's gonna range in a big way because there are so many individual personality traits & different family dynamics in the mix. It's all just anecdotal evidence where spanking is concerned - it ruined my childhood....it made no impact & everything in between. If there are any studies out there, I'd have a hard time taking them seriously because I don't believe for a second that they could control for all the variables.
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  3. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobelia View Post
    I think the main thing is whether or not a kid knows/feels that s/he is loved by his/her parents. Seems like a lot of the hate comes more from feeling unloved on a daily basis than being spanked.
    Very true.

  4. #109
    Gold Member philbert_wormly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nevan View Post
    I got taken out of my house five times during my childhood for abuse, so I'm a little sensitive about children's fear of abuse. And I can tell you from experience that this child is lying because he's terrified of the punishment. Yeah, there's definitely other issues going on there (him being a 5-year-old from a foreign country, for one) ... but to hear that kid's fear of his mother and her just repeating over and over and over (well, screaming, at the least) ... it just brings such bad memories. I feel so sorry for that little boy.
    She broke him. The pernicious thing is that the worse she gets the more he will have to take.

    She would rather beat him down mentally and eventually physically rather than find out what might be troubling him and that might be because the biggest thing troubling him could very well be her.

    Great mother! Medea has nothing over that one and remember what became of Mermeros and Pheres with that. Joan Crawford would give this bitch two thumbs up from beyond the grave even.

  5. #110
    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
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    My mother used to wait until I was the shower and then come in with her 80s disco belt and spank the shit out of me.

    All warranted of course. I didn't like to "listen" sometimes but that would definitely put me in check.

  6. #111
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    Like I said, I don't know where the line is between legit discipline and abuse. In a different society, I'm damn sure my parents would have married me off at 13 and washed their hands of me - but they really loved their boys.
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  7. #112
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by philbert_wormly View Post
    She broke him. The pernicious thing is that the worse she gets the more he will have to take.
    One thing I noticed on the clips was how passive and non-defiant he seemed to be. To me, and I could be wrong, that would actually seem to indicate that he was in the frame of mind to be reasoned with, and to be receptive to understand what he did wrong and why he shouldn't do it again. To make a kid like that run through a punishment gauntlet seems especially pointless, aside from the cruelty aspect.

    My kids have been physically defiant at time. Flat-out refused to do what they were told, or talked back, or refused to go upstairs on time out. In those cases, I have literally picked them up and put them in their room and closed the door. Not smacking them. I don't think I've had to spank my kids in at least two years now.

    I have, however, yelled loud enough for them to dissolve into tears - typically over refusing to do homework and then talking back. And I've learned that if you are scary enough you can break a kid by just doing that. And it's not a good feeling either. I would much rather have them view learning/homework, good behavior as something positive that they want to do. In order to do that, I've learned that you have to be two steps ahead of your kids. Not trying to do things or catching up at the last minute.

  8. #113
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    My kids have been physically defiant at time. Flat-out refused to do what they were told, or talked back, or refused to go upstairs on time out. In those cases, I have literally picked them up and put them in their room and closed the door. Not smacking them. I don't think I've had to spank my kids in at least two years now.
    Mohandas, I was spanked (as the end result of a three strikes and you're out system, which rarely got beyond two) but my mum also subscribed to the 'pick 'em up and shift 'em system'. There was one occasion that I still remember from when I was small when we were arguing about bathtime and I flat out refused to get undressed and get cleaned up. She told me that I was getting in the bath even if I was still fully clothed. I thought that she wouldn't dare. She dared alright, and I was unceremoniously picked up and dunked, complete with coat and shoes still on. After that I realised that my mother didn't make idle threats.
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  9. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    Mohandas, I was spanked (as the end result of a three strikes and you're out system, which rarely got beyond two) but my mum also subscribed to the 'pick 'em up and shift 'em system'. There was one occasion that I still remember from when I was small when we were arguing about bathtime and I flat out refused to get undressed and get cleaned up. She told me that I was getting in the bath even if I was still fully clothed. I thought that she wouldn't dare. She dared alright, and I was unceremoniously picked up and dunked, complete with coat and shoes still on. After that I realised that my mother didn't make idle threats.
    That reminds me, years ago we bought a pretty good book called something like "1-2-3 Magic". Basically, your kids get three strikes before they go on time out. The good thing is that you can let them know that their bad behavior is escalating, and they have a chance to get themselves under control before they get to 3 and have to go to their bedrooms. So, they learn impulse control, which seems to be at the root of a lot of tantrums.

    Many times, I've watched my daughter completely blow by "1", but when I tell her she's on "2", she takes a deep breath, looks like a tea cup at the boiling point, and then manages to restrain herself and settle down.

  10. #115
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    23 August 2011 Last updated at 21:35 ET

    Alaska mother convicted of abusing adopted Russian son


    Beagley said her adopted son had emotional problems

    A US woman accused of using extreme methods to punish her adopted Russian son as a ploy to get on a TV programme has been convicted of child abuse.
    The jury in Alaska was shown a video in which Jessica Beagley poured spicy sauce into her son's mouth.
    Defence lawyers said she wanted to appear on the TV programme, in which people seek parenting help, after normal punishments had failed.
    Correspondents say the case has outraged many in Russia.
    The court in Anchorage heard that Beagley recorded the video for an American TV show called Doctor Phil, in which parents seek help over child behaviour issues.
    Ban lifted Prosecutors said Beagley asked her 10-year-old daughter to record footage, in which she confronts her adopted son about his behaviour, and then pours hot sauce into his mouth.
    In the video, which Beagley recorded for a programme segment called "Mommy Confessions", she could also be seen forcing the screaming seven-year-old boy into a cold shower.
    Defence lawyers said she was desperate to appear on the programme after normal punishments failed to work on the boy, who they said had emotional problems.
    "It is our feeling Jessica was doing the best she could," said defence lawyer William Ingaldson. "This is a very good, loving family."
    Beagley showed no emotion when the jury announced its verdict.
    She and her husband Gary Beagley, a policeman in Anchorage, walked quickly from the courtroom without responding to reporters' questions.
    The couple have four biological children.
    Beagley could be jailed for up to a year or fined up to $10,000 (£6,060) when she is sentenced on Monday.
    Correspondents say the case has sparked outrage in Russia, with some people calling for the boy and his twin brother to be returned there.
    The court case comes four months after Russia temporarily suspended adoptions by US families.
    Moscow acted after an American woman, Torry Hansen, put her seven-year-old adopted son on a one-way flight to Russia alone, with a note saying she could no longer care for him.
    The ban was lifted in June, when the American and Russian presidents, Barack Obama and Dmitry Medvedev, agreed to work together on rules on adoption.
    BBC News - Alaska mother convicted of abusing adopted Russian son

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