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Thread: Florida Woman Jailed After Fight Over Vibrator with Twin Sister

  1. #1
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Default Florida Woman Jailed After Fight Over Vibrator with Twin Sister

    Florida Woman Jailed After Fight Over Vibrator with Twin Sister


    Yesterday 11:15pm

    EXPAND
    Hey, good news, everyone! Florida Woman is back in the news (it's been ages; can't wait to catch up, let's do lunch). This time, it's for getting into a vicious fight with her own twin sister over a vibrator.
    According to police, Heidi Creamer of Bradenton got into a fight with her twin sister over a vibrator and her boyfriend. Things soon turned physical and Creamer assaulted her sister, punching and scratching her and pulling her hair. (This fight has to be over a rabbit, right? That's the only one I can think that's probably worth throwing a punch for.) Via the Orlando Sentinel, which I'm guessing covers a Florida vibrator fight once or twice a week:

    Creamer stopped after a few minutes and began grabbing her personal belongings, stacking them outside the front door and stating that she wanted to leave, according to the affidavit. When Creamer exited the front door to place some items outside, her twin slammed the door and locked Creamer outside.

    When police arrived, they handcuffed Creamer and put in her in a patrol car. As an officer read her rights, she screamed that "she was fighting with her sister over a vibrator and her boyfriend," according to a police report. Sounds like the right thing to say when you're about to be dragged off to jail.

    Creamer was charged with domestic battery and released on bond. No one on what became of the vibrator, but I'm sure it's at the forefront of everyone's thoughts.
    Image via Shutterstock.


    -----------------------

    Her name is Heidi Creamer. For real.

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  2. #2
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    I'm going to need some more details... I mean, were they sharing a vibrator and a boyfriend or what??? Shellee???
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(_)П
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  3. #3
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Someone should just get them a double ended one.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

  4. #4
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    I love the appropriateness of her name.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

  5. #5
    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    You had me at "Creamer".
    Brookie likes this.
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  6. #6
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Oh Shellee...

  7. #7
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mel1973 View Post
    I'm going to need some more details... I mean, were they sharing a vibrator and a boyfriend or what??? Shellee???
    I don't have a sister so


    I too love the last name, I can't believe it's real.
    Kittylady likes this.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

  8. #8
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Creamer was charged with domestic battery
    'Battery' cracked me up, being as the fight was over a vibrator
    MohandasKGanja likes this.
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  9. #9
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Shellee Creamer - has a nice ring to it.
    Kittylady likes this.
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
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  10. #10
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Kittylady and Brookie like this.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

  11. #11
    Elite Member Sleuth's Avatar
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    Alicia Silverstone: "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

  12. #12
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  13. #13
    Elite Member panic's Avatar
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    Creamer was charged with domestic battery
    yeah, literally.

  14. #14
    Gold Member Dorahacky's Avatar
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    (This fight has to be over a rabbit, right? That's the only one I can think that's probably worth throwing a punch for.)
    Fuck a bunch of the Rabbit, I'd cut a bitch over my Hitachi Magic Wand.
    BITTER likes this.
    We all like to think we're so special. But in the end, we all do the same stupid shit. - Dennis Miller


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