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Thread: Man Kills Wife & Two Children, Friends Suggest She’s At Fault For ‘Belittling’ Him

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Default Man Kills Wife & Two Children, Friends Suggest She’s At Fault For ‘Belittling’ Him







    Man Kills Wife & Two Children, Friends Suggest She’s At Fault For ‘Belittling’ Him

    On Monday night in Cross River, New York, Sam Friedlander beat his wife to death with a table leg, shot their two young children in their beds, then turned the gun on himself. It's an incredibly horrific crime, and you might be feeling pretty bad for the wife and the two kids right now — but first, you should consider all the facts. You see, according to Friedlander's friends, his wife was an emasculating bitch, and that's probably what drove him to murder his entire family.

    The Journal News, a local Westchester newspaper, put together an article that should go down in the annals of victim blaming. In the lengthy piece, the only comment about who Amy Friedlander was comes from a statement posted on the website of her tutoring service. Her business partner Deborah Bernstein wrote:
    "We are deeply saddened by the tragic loss of Amy Friedlander and her children Molly and Gregory. Amy was not only a business partner but a personal friend and loving mother. She will be truly missed by us and the community at large."
    The article notes that Gregory was 8 and Molly was 10, and they both attended Lewisboro Elementary School.

    As for Sam Friedlander, there are three sources that tell lengthy tales about his great love for his family and the years of emotional abuse he allegedly suffered. Michael Borg, a friend from law school, says, "I have heard from him the abuse she put him through in terms of belittling and emasculating him in front of the kids and in front of friends." And there's plenty more hearsay where that came from! The Friedlanders were going through a divorce, but were still living together. Though Borg admits that it doesn't quite justify shooting your children in their bedrooms, he notes that sometimes Amy was pretty mean to Sam:
    "I can't make excuses for what he did, but I know something must have snapped in him," Borg said. "It must have been a living hell in that house."

    She once prevented him from visiting their daughter during camp visiting day, he said, and, when Borg invited the family to Passover in the spring, she "poisoned the minds" of the children so Sam Friedlander had to go alone.

    "The Sam I knew for 30 years was not the Sam who pulled the trigger on them," Borg said. "Sam was the most gentle, unassuming, mellow individual you would ever want to meet."
    Clearly the only reason Amy and the kids didn't want to go to Borg's for passover is that she'd "poisoned" them against him. After all, that's how Sam assessed the situation when he was angrily recapping a fight that left him celebrating the holiday without his family.

    But Amy wasn't the only problem in their relationship. Her parents were also total jerks who never really liked the guy who eventually killed their daughter.
    "She was never able to cut the umbillcal cord with them," Borg said. "They would be visiting Sam in Cross River and would completely usurp his authority and walk all over him."
    David Pine, another friend from law school who hadn't seen Friedlander since last year, adds:
    "He looked like an emotionally beaten man," said Pine, 49, of New Jersey. "There came a point in time when he isolated himself from his friends. He went into his own cocoon and we weren't able to get through to him."

    "I saw a guy emotionally abused over time," Pine said. "We always hear of domestic violence against women, but there's also emotional domestic violence against men. He was showing all the classic signs of being emotionally abused." ...

    "He could have left the situation, but he didn't," Pine added. "He stayed in the house because of the kids. He wanted to be in their lives, yet he was subject to all the verbal and emotional abuse.

    "I can't put a handle on why he would take the lives of his kids," he continued, "but whatever it was was a result of years of emotional torment that he must have (gone) through in that household."
    Are men sometimes abused by their wives? Absolutely. But no matter how nasty Amy might have been, that doesn't make the guy who murdered his wife and children the real victim here.

    People usually blame the other spouse when they're getting a divorce, and all we hear in the article is Sam's version of events. Amy can't defend herself now, and The Journal News didn't bother include interviews with her friends. Pine diagnosed Sam as suffering from "classic signs" of emotional abuse. Perhaps Amy's friend would point out that it's common for male abusers to paint their wives as emasculating harpies to downplay what they're doing to them. At this point, there's no solid evidence that either Amy or Sam was abusive. The only thing we do know is that that Sam murdered his family, and nothing Amy, Molly, or Gregory said justifies that.




    Man Kills Wife & Two Children, Friends Suggest She's At Fault For 'Belittling' Him
    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Hmmm. Nice house.
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    He should have just killed himself first and left it at that.

    I imagine there are 2 sides to this story. It certainly leaves you wondering if maybe he was an unhappy person who blamed all his shortcomings on his wife.

    You can also imagine how the current economic situation puts additional pressure on people. A lot of times people just can't afford to leave the marriage or the marital home when you can't sell your house or whatever.

    I don't really think you can blame someone for making you kill a bunch of people. It sounds like he did have people who really cared about him. And parents sometimes go through periods of estrangement with their children and recover from it. Was he seeing a therapist? It sure as hell sounds like he needed to.

    Bleh. I hate reading about these stories.

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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Sometimes as I read stories like this, I'm grateful I'm not married (irrational fear of spouse becoming unstable and going postal). I know they all don't behave this way, but it creeps me out.
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Usurp his authority ? Please! Those men are going way out there to prove she made him do it. This is a horrible slaughter with only one man at fault.
    Real nice guy. Sure.
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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    His name sounds so familiar too me, but I'm too lazy right now to do any google sleuthing.
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    maybe it's true. maybe she was an emasculating bitch from hell. they do exist. there are unlikeable victims of murder and/or domestic abuse, they aren't all perfect angels.
    but that's beside the point. nothing she could have done would even begin to justify his actions. if she was such a bitch, he should have dumped her ass years ago and moved on. that's what sane people do.
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    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    ^^ Exactly. He's the one who married the emasculating bitch and had two kids with her.

    People in abusive relationships don't kill their KIDS. That takes a special kind of monster.
    These people don't give a fuck about YOU or us. It's a message board, for Christ's sake. ~ mrs.v ~
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    Elite Member Kat Scorp's Avatar
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    I call bullshit also. My mother is a violent, screaming shrew of woman; you never knew when she'd snap, nor what imagined slight would set her off. Myself and my dad (my brother died aged 17) were always fucking terrorfied of her, the fact she's 5'10" and built like a brick shit-house never helped. She eventually kicked dad out and took him to the cleaners in the divorce.

    But my dad never, ever took it out on me. She had his balls in her trophy case and continued to yell at him after the divorce, but still my dad never did a damn thing but work and provide for me finacially. Ten years later - I have nothing to do with that bitch, but see my dad every week.

    Being "belittled" by his wife isn't a fucking excuse to kill her and the two kids.
    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum"?


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    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    I'm not going to quote you but .... it's "terrified". terror, terrify, terrified.
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
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    I thought "terrorfied" was kinda cute, if really difficult to pronounce.
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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Where is OrangeSlice's brother?

    j/k This is ridiculous. Someone making you snap wouldn't make you kill your own children.
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    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by olivia View Post
    I thought "terrorfied" was kinda cute
    Me too.
    These people don't give a fuck about YOU or us. It's a message board, for Christ's sake. ~ mrs.v ~
    ~"Fuck off! Aim higher! Get a life! Get away from me!" ~the lovely and talented Miss Julia Roberts~



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    i'm thinking i should be nicer to my husband.
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    Elite Member Kat Scorp's Avatar
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    You're right; don't know how I missed that. I have a fucking university degree, too!
    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum"?


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