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Thread: Drunk Driver Douses Self in Human Poop to Throw Cops Off His Scent

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007

    Default Drunk Driver Douses Self in Human Poop to Throw Cops Off His Scent

    After he plowed his Jeep into a condo's garage by mistakenly flooring it in reverse, Gordon Flavia, a 57-year-old man from Longview, Washington, found that he'd driven clear into a makeshift bathroom containing a portable toilet. He then "doused himself with a bucket of liquid human waste" and hid inside the Porta Potty. Police found him there, soaking wet.
    "We didn't know exactly what it was ... but it smelled bad," Police Sgt. Doug Kazensky said.

    Flavia told officers he'd splashed himself with the contents of a bucket outside a portable toilet "because he thought the dogs were coming, and he was trying to throw off the scent," Kazensky said.
    Added Longview police Sgt. Ed Jones:
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone

    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  2. #2
    Elite Member caramel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    In Finland


    that was a good idea haha!
    we don't have to make love to have an orgasm

  3. #3
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Burning Down Your Windmill


    Fuck that. I'd just man up and do my damn time.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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