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Thread: 10 year old Colorado girl vanishes on way to school

  1. #151
    Elite Member stef's Avatar
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    Sep 2006


    seapharris, glad your son is ok!

    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    We've already been talking with our kids about it, but I think the main thing is to help them to trust their instincts and to recognize certain behaviors, and even play act with them in scenarios.

    In The Gift of Fear, the author had this true-life scenario that happened right in front of him:

    A young woman was traveling alone on a plane. She was in her late teens.

    A forty-ish guy moves from another seat into the empty seat next to her and immediately starts talking with her. His conversation was geared to find out if someone was waiting for her at the next airport (nobody was), and to build rapport. The author also noticed that by the guy's clothing (relatively new), his grooming, and his type of tattoos, that the guy had been in prison recently. The guy offered the girl some of his alcoholic drink, saying it was good to break the rules sometimes. And she drank some of it. According to the author, this guy set off all kinds of warning bells that the girl didn't seem to recognize. Forced partnership. Over-sharing. Forcing something on her for free so that he can "call in a return favor" later. And knowing how long she was going to be alone.

    When the guy got up out of his seat to use the bathroom, the author leaned over and asked if he could speak with her. He told her, "That guy is not to be trusted. When you get to the airport, he is going to really try hard to offer you a ride. Don't do it."

    At the airport luggage area, the author watched as the guy came up to the girl, started talking with her (obviously offering her a ride), while she shook her head no, over and over. He got really pissed and gestured angrily at her and walked away.
    i bought the book weeks ago (after it was mentioned here) and a couple of hours ago i actually read exactly this chapter. it's a great book, really.
    "This is not meant to be at all offensive: You suffer from diarrhea of the mouth but constipation of the brain." - McJag

  2. #152
    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
    Your Pocket


    Quote Originally Posted by Air Quotes View Post
    Same here I'm worried I will screw it up so badly that he thinks anyone that isn't me is probably going to rape and kill him.
    We're actually trying really hard not to make our kids terrified of strangers for no good reason (that's worded awkwardly...). We believe that it would do them a disservice to emphasize the "stranger danger" aspect of things over the importance of reading each situation individually and trusting their instincts. Especially since it's kind of a mixed message... we instil "stranger danger" in our kids but then encourage them to make friends, and, as they grow up, go out and meet people and network. Humans are social creatures, and I don't want to create an environment where my kids refuse to say hello to their neighbours.

    What I'd like to do is empower them. I watched that An American Crime movie the other day, and I was continuously struck by how the kids had absolutely no voice, no one in their corner, and virtually no rights. Rather than have my kids run away in fear when a stranger says hello to them, I want them to know that it's okay to believe that something isn't right, it's okay to say so, and it's okay to fight back in whatever way necessary. I think my parents actually achieved this with me - they never told me "don't talk to strangers", but rather would literally tell me that if I believed I was in danger to get the hell out of there, run to a trusted grownup's house, bite, kick, punch, scream, yell, etc. And that they would always believe me and always be there for me and I could tell them anything. I think this was good advice because I actually did feel like I knew what I would do if I was in a threatening situation. Which isn't to say I would be successful in getting away, but let's face it, if someone wants to abduct you, what good is "not talking to them" going to do? You could avoid eye contact with every stranger, and then get grabbed by an uncle or a teacher, and then what?

    The Gift of Fear is amazing in reinforcing belief in our own instincts, and what's even more amazing is that it spells out actual, real things that predators do to their victims (or try to do to their potential victims). So instead of crowding out your intuition by imagining danger at every turn, you can just look, listen, and see what's really there. If you feel uneasy, maybe it's for a reason. But if you constantly feel uneasy around any stranger just because they're a stranger, you'll never be able to hear that voice inside that tells you when there is real danger.

    I think these tips are things we can actually sit down and talk to our children about, and even run through hypothetical scenarios with them. It's really an amazing book, and everyone should read it, twice. Actually, it would be awesome if he wrote one more geared specifically to kids - my husband has a story about when he was a boy, there was an adult friend of his family who once asked if my husband - as a kid - could lend him some money. He thought it was a little weird, but he was going to do it, until the dude said, "don't tell your mother." Right there that set off alarm bells and he did exactly that. I think kids can handle being told things like, "it's not cool for a grownup to ask to borrow money from a kid - that's fucked up and inappropriate", not to mention, "if a grownup tells you not to tell your parents something, they probably know what they're doing isn't cool - you don't have to listen to them, and in fact you should come and tell me right away!" These kinds of lessons can inform, reinforce and shape their instincts.
    If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

    - Kahlil Gibran

  3. #153
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Burning Down Your Windmill


    I just got an email from my school district that there was another attempted abduction yesterday (verified). This time it was elementary school-aged boys out at a playground around dinner time. The boys screamed and some high school boys started running to help them, which scared the abductor off. Now they are looking for a young hispanic male, 6 feet, very thin.

    ETA: I found an article:

    Child abduction try thwarted by older boys, Federal Heights police say

    POSTED: 11/01/2012 09:21:46 PM MDT
    UPDATED: 11/01/2012 09:23:38 PM MDT
    By The Denver Post

    A group of middle school and young high school boys thwarted an attempted child abduction Thursday night in Federal Heights, police said.

    Two students at Federal Heights Elementary School and a middle school-aged boy were on the playground at the school at 7:21 p.m., when they were approached by a man who tried to get them to go with him and seemed threatening.

    One of the boys ran away yelling for help, and about a half dozen older boys nearby came to their rescue and chased the man away, said patrol Sgt. Robert Lininger.

    One of the boys called 9-1-1, then a driver who nearly hit one of the running children also called police.

    The boys chased the man into the nearby Kimberly Hills Mobile Home Park and lost him. Police quickly took over the search, but the man had slipped away, Lininger said.

    He was described as Hispanic, in his mid 20s to late 30s, about 6 feet tall with a thin build. He was wearing a green shirt and carrying a brown bag, possibly a backpack, Lininger said.

    Anyone with information can call Federal Heights police at 303-428-8538.

    Read more:Child abduction try thwarted by older boys, Federal Heights police say - The Denver Post
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  4. #154
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Feb 2007


    Thank God for those older boys.
    Seapharris7 likes this.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  5. #155
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Burning Down Your Windmill


    The court unsealed the full list of charges in this case. Its a pdf.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  6. #156
    Elite Member Air Quotes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Seattle, Washington


    God that is so sad.
    "A true whore just loves her life." - Sluce

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