Florida Gives In to Horny Moms, Lifts the Ban on 50 Shades of Grey

[Waterslide]

That review is hilarious!

Now I so want Jon Heder to play Christian Grey, I think the story is much better when you imagine it that way. And IRL, I want my "Inner Goddess" to be played by Samuel L. Jackson.

I think I'm too much of a pussy to put this up on facebook, though I am so tempted.

[Lobelia]

I am trying really hard to finish this today because I'm just OCD enough for it to bother me if I don't. I have about a hundred pages left. I am skimming most of it.

This is mind-boggling-ly bad. In the span of just a few pages, Christian has said "mighty fine" 3 times. As in, "you look mighty fine trussed up like that, Miss Steele"


This dumb bitch has mind-blowing orgasms every single time this asshole touches her, and it doesn't matter HOW he touches her, it just sends her into some astral plane where she dissociates and falls into a bajillion pieces and dies.

I just don't know if I can do this.

[A*O]

I think that sick fuck Christian Grey is modelled on my douchebag ex. The controlling selfishness, the patronising contempt, the huge wang, the potential for violence, the emotional abuse, the utter lack of respect. That shit caused a lot of damage, some of which I'm still dealing with. I was totally dickmatised by it too but thankfully realised what he was doing to me and I got out.

And I'm sorry but who puts soggy used condoms in the waste paper basket?

This book will sell and sell because it gives women with a traditionally ambivalent attitude towards porn (ew) a legitimate reason to openly read and discuss it because it's "literature".

True story: I was on a long (14hrs) flight last week and there was a woman across the aisle from me reading our favourite book. She was all squirmy and misty eyed about it [shudder]. A couple of rows back was a slightly seedy guy who was watching her read and you could tell he was turned on too. After a couple of hours he made his move and struck up a conversation. The body language was unmistakable and I was waiting for them to head off to the bathroom. They didn't but he kept staring at her while she slept. Creepy. Anyway, we eventually landed and they rushed off the plane together, probably to the nearest airport motel. How romantic.

[Bellatheball]

I pictured Christian Grey as Patrick Whatever in American Psycho so that particular gif was hilarious.

Outstanding review.

[witchcurlgirl]

One British hotel has decided to do away with the traditional bedside Gideon Bibles — and replace them with complimentary copies of mommy porn book Fifty Shades of Grey.

Located in The Lakes region of North West England, Damson Dene Hotel boasts spectacular views of the surrounding district and is best known for providing the backdrop for Channel 4's "fly-on-the-wall" documentary series The Hotel. It was also once owned by a Methodist group.

On his personal blog, owner Jonathan Denby elaborated on the establishment's controversial switcheroo:

Tonight millions of women will be curling up in bed with a good book and you can bet your life it won't be the Bible. More likely than not it will be Fifty Shades of Grey. I haven't read the book yet – I'm not in the target audience – but I'm told it's a ripping good yarn and everyone who's in the target audience loves it. This made me wonder about the sense of providing a book, the Gideon Bible which noone reads, and many dislike, in the bedside cabinet of our hotel bedrooms, instead of a book which everyone wants to read, such as Fifty Shades of Grey.

Denby told NBC News he considered other books a bible substitutes — including Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged — before settling on E. L. James' Twilight-fanfic-turned-bestseller.

The hotel has received a few angry emails concerning the surprising swap, so, in the name of accommodation, Denby has left a few bibles behind the reception desk for guests who prefer scripture to sadomasochism.

In Lieu of Bibles, Hotel Stocks Nightstands with Fifty Shades of Grey

[Karistiona]

Just finished the first book. It's so so terrible, dreadful in fact. The writing is dire, and some of the language is awful too, as others have noted the excessive use of the words holy and crap are jarring. Also, the sexy bits aren't that sexy. Christian appears to be a bit wham, bam thank you maam - no stamina. I get that it's probably supposed to be because he's so passionate and into Ana the vapid cunt but it's over before it's even properly started. Sometimes they'll be mid-coitus and there'll be a mention of the ridiculous inner goddess or yet another holy crap and I'll actually laugh out loud.

I'm probably gonna get torn a new one for this, but except for the controlling stalkerish ways I quite like Christian, possibly because every time I think of him I picture Patrick Bateman and it gives me a good hearty trololol. I'm hoping the final book ends up with Christian going apeshit with a chainsaw and standing victorious. I also think I like Christian because Ana is a complete twat and I hate her.

I'm going to read the next one and see if it's any less shite. Then I'm going to go back and read one of my favourite books ever, Kushiel's Dart, and enjoy some really good kinky book times

[Bellatheball]

Yes!! That's what I said too...Patrick Bateman. Lol

[Karistiona]

Its uncanny isn't it!

[Karistiona]

Am half way through book two. They're now squishily in love and she keeps referring to Mr Bateman as "Fifty". I'm struggling to morph 50 cent and Christian Bale together but my inner goddess is enjoying the challenge. Pish pish pish.

[Icepik]

Am half way through book two. They're now squishily in love and she keeps referring to Mr Bateman as "Fifty". I'm struggling to morph 50 cent and Christian Bale together but my inner goddess is enjoying the challenge. Pish pish pish.

That's funny you say that because every time she referred to him as "Fifty", I read it as Fiddy.

And, I seriously wanted to kill her inner Goddess who just wouldn't shut the hell up. Since I wasn't able, I just found myself rolling my eyes 4,595 times instead.

[Kittylady]

This book provided me with some unintentional hilarity without ever having to read it. The Bloke's brother's GF was caught up in the hype and had been looking everywhere for a copy without success so the Brother mentioned it to his 72 year old mum and asked her to look for it as well without having any idea of what it was all about. Then came the phonecall from the mum saying she'd found a copy and bought it and we all ended up scrambling to try and retrieve it before curiosity got the better of her and she started flicking through it. If it was my mum I wouldn't have been bothered (other than to ask her WTF she was doing buying into the hype) but Bloke's mum is a different kettle of fish. Don't get me wrong, she's an absolutely lovely lady and I don't think I could ask for a better MIL-type but she's very, very old fashioned and I don't think I've ever heard her say anything stronger than "bloody" in all the years I've known her.

As for the book itself - I don't think I'm going to be borrowing it any time soon. Aside from it being based on Twilight (which I loathe) the characters sound like people that I'd like to tie to a stake, douse in petrol and set alight, using Ana's Inner Goddess as a torch. It also sounds like the author has completely missed the point of BDSM; in a properly conducted BDSM relationship it could be said that the real control lies with the Sub, not the Dom. They have the ultimate power of veto, not the dom, and if they say that they've had enough or some shit ain't gonna fly and invoke the Safe Word then it all stops there.

Another thing that has had me shaking my head over all this is the reports of sales to women in DIY shops apparently shooting up in what keeps being referred to as 'The Fifty Shades effect'. Silly cows! If you want the equipment to try this sort of stuff out then the least you can do is have the balls to go to a real sex shop and buy the proper gear. Pussies.

[Lobelia]

I gave up. I couldn't finish it. I was starting to hate myself. Especially after reading that awesome review - kept hypernoticing all the "holy cow" and "crap" and "inner goddess" repetitions.

It's SOOOOOOO fuckin sexy during a dom/sub scene when the woman is thinking "crapola"

[Kittylady]

[OrangeSlice]

That is awesome.

[Rusalka]