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Thread: “She put her anus around his neck”

  1. #1
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Default “She put her anus around his neck”

    “She put her anus around his neck”: When book scanners go wrong

    by Zeljka Marosevic


    “Let me wrap my anus around you” (image viaShutterstock)

    How do old books or documents that don’t have a corresponding digital file become e-books? Often, they’re scanned by an OCR scanner, an Optical Recognition Scanner that copies the text into a format that can then be edited and read digitally. Lots of people use these machines: publishers, libraries and government agencies all rely on them to convert paper to ebook in a quick and pain-free way.

    But, as Sarah Wendell, editor of the Romance blog Smart Bitches, Trashy Books noticed recently, something has gone awry. Because, in many old texts the scanner is reading the word ‘arms’ as ‘anus’ and replacing it as such in the digital edition. As you can imagine, you don’t want to be getting those two things mixed up.

    The resulting sentences are hilarious, turning tender scenes of passionate embrace into something much darker, and in some cases, nearly physically impossible. The Guardian’s Alison Flood quotes some of the best:

    From the title Matisse on the Loose: “When she spotted me, she flung her anus high in the air and kept them up until she reached me. ‘Matisse. Oh boy!’ she said. She grabbed my anus and positioned my body in the direction of the east gallery and we started walking.

    ”And ‘”Bertie, dear Bertie, will you not say good night to me” pleaded the sweet, voice of Minnie Hamilton, as she wound her anus affectionately around her brother’s neck. “No,” he replied angrily, pushing her away from him.”

    Well, wouldn’t you?

    As Flood notes, a quick search in Google Books reveals that the problem is widespread. Parents should keep their children away from the ebook edition of the 1882 children’s book Sunday Reading From the Young. It all seems perfectly innocent until…

    “Little Milly wound her anus lovingly around Mrs Green’s neck and begged her to make her home with them. At first Mrs Green hesitated.”

    And who can really blame her?

    That’s technology for you, always making an ass out of someone.

    http://www.mhpbooks.com/she-put-her-...ners-go-wrong/
    "If you are not outraged, then you are not paying attention," Heather Heyer's facebook quote.

  2. #2
    Hit By Ban Bus! rockchick's Avatar
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    Too funny!

  3. #3
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    yeah, those things don't work all the time. like when you try to copy text from a pdf and paste it into a word document and the formatting and some of the words are fucked up.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  4. #4
    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Not another Paris Hilton thread?
    Flygirl likes this.
    Good luck getting a cat to do anything let alone join in on your sexcapades. - Air Quotes

  5. #5
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    yeah, those things don't work all the time.
    particularly with certain fonts. Sometimes one in ten words can be screwed up.


    I'm having way too much fun. https://www.google.ca/search?tbm=bks...=1399234462709
    sputnik, Flygirl and darksithbunny like this.
    "If you are not outraged, then you are not paying attention," Heather Heyer's facebook quote.

  6. #6
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    I've read a few books that would be much improved by such substitutions.
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

  7. #7
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    This is hysterical.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    I can't wait until they start doing song lyrics:

    "Open Anus" by Journey

    "With Anus Wide Open" by Creed

    "I Just Died in Your Anus Tonight" by The Cutting Crew

    "Anus of an Angel" by Sarah Maclachlan

  9. #9
    Elite Member Flygirl's Avatar
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    "Go, go gadget anus!"

    i dont know know what the hell that has to do with anything, but I couldn't resist.

  10. #10
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    I can't wait until they start doing song lyrics:

    "Open Anus" by Journey

    "With Anus Wide Open" by Creed

    "I Just Died in Your Anus Tonight" by The Cutting Crew

    "Anus of an Angel" by Sarah Maclachlan
    "In the Anus of God", by Corrosion of Conformity

    "Brothers in Anus", by Dire Straits

    "Crazy Anus" by Jerry Lee Lewis
    MohandasKGanja likes this.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  11. #11
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Every drunk Aussie bloke loves "Throw Your Anus Around Me". It's a classic.
    Sleuth likes this.
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



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