One Quelle Surprise Blind Vice from Ted 07/17/06

[Tater Tot]

Yeah, this one's all but solved... Big Gay AL and Star for sure! The two main clues:

"on her worst day ever" - everyone knows Star recently had her worst day ever!
at the beginning of the Awful Truth, Ted refers to the BV as a "bitchy payback" and he's voiced his dislike for Star before.

Definitely them! Thanks for an easy one Ted!

[happy8]

Just to confirm even more that it's Star & Al, today Ted's column is dedicated to Star for some pointers on how to deal with breaking up..... Her divorce will trump the Christie Brinkley scandal in NYC.

[LynnieD]

^GET OUT! I'm off to read Ted!

[equallydivided]

Oooooh, I wanna see!!!!!!

[LynnieD]

^^I read it and he basically says that Star needs to take notes about breaking up since he (Ted) hears that Al isn't super happy with her currently.
That's about all he says....but I'm sure its what he ISN'T saying that is the most telling eh?

[happy8]

Right.... If Ted's format is still the same as it was when he wrote once a week... the blind vices were always someone written about that week. So I don't think its coincidence that he mentions Star today. This is the quote that gives it away for me.... "Now, let's get into a real-life crap sitch: If you do happen to find out you're dating a double-dippin' dude, what's the best way to get over it" I interpret that to be dabling with men & women. Last but not least.. his title today is "The Played n Strayed-Rebound Rap"

You always have to read between the lines with Ted, more so since he went daily.

[southernbelle]

first, my summary, so I can actually figure out what Ted is trying to say.
PD is known more for sort of gay or man-on-man activities than for being super popular with the girls. He married BB and a bunch of homosexuals were surprised. He didn't stop his gay activities when he got married, but he did try to be more discreet about them. BB was sort of in denial and had an "I don't want to know" attitude. BB was shocked when PD officially came out of the closet recently, but when she told her friends they weren't surprised. He told his wife on a really bad day, and now her professional life is unorganized and messed up too.

I agree, Star and Al.

[LynnieD]

^^If I remember correctly, there was a blind item, probably a year ago or so that talked about a husband of a TV host---and that the wife & hubby took a limo to an awards show and that only the wife actually went to the awards show, and the hubby took the limo (& driver) to a bunch of gay clubs, then went back to pick up the wife from the show and went home. It was soooo Big Gay Al. My point: he has still been up to his downlow stuff but has tried to keep it quiet.....

[Goose]

Even though I think everyone is convinced it's Star and Al (and I agree...), just thought I'd add Ted's update from today:

Dear Ted:
Plumper Dumper from One Quelle Surprise Blind Vice--is it Matthew Broderick? I've heard under-the-radar rumors about him in the past, and I'm leaning toward him and Sarah Jessica Parker for this one. And Bertha Broom-Rider...didn't she play a witch in Hocus Pocus?
Emily B.

Dear Witchy Wonderer:
Good guess, because Sarah Jessica Parker did indeed play a witch in Hocus, but it ain't her. See, Bertha never played a witch...she just is one.

Dear Ted:
Is Bertha Broom-Rider from One Quelle Surprise Blind Vice Carmen Electra? I look forward to your column every day before my kids get up. But I'm still trying to figure out Toothy Tile! It's killing me.
Lia
Lowell, Massachusetts

Dear Mommie Dearest:
Good guess, but Bertha ain't Carm-cakes. Think older and not nearly as hot, not by a push-up brassiere's shot. Besides, Bertha's bustup with her man ain't exactly official...yet.

Dear Ted:
Is Plumper Dumper of One Quelle Surprise Blind Vice Ashton Kutcher? By the way, love your column, can't get enough. Too bad for us girls you aren't straight.
Lisa

Dear Wishful Thinker:
Not a bad guess (or try), babe, but if you think it's Ashton, you've been Punk'd. Think older and less famous.