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Thread: Entertainment Lawyer 01/01/10 Reveals

  1. #31
    Bronze Member mysticlady's Avatar
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    @Novice- Last March.
    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

  2. #32
    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    Wow, I didn't realize Dennis Quaid was such a dick.

  3. #33
    Elite Member Jexxifer's Avatar
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    Wednesday, October 28, 2009

    This A list photographer and sometime director was at a screening of Paranormal Activity. Don't tell me what happens because I am seeing it next week. Anyway, our photographer was at the movies with an entourage and was extremely loud and annoying throughout the entire movie. At one point he screamed out, "Wait, is this Blair Witch?" Throughout the movie he would also yell to his entourage and ask if they needed anything or to go get him something. People in the audience tried to get him to be quiet but he just wouldn't shut up. Eventually many members of the audience walked out. Thankfully the manager gave them all their money back and a free ticket to anothermovie. Nothing was done however about the photographer.

    David LaChapelle




    Thursday, October 29, 2009

    This past weekend this C list cable reality star who had his own show spoke at an event addressing tattoos, taboos and Jews but he did talk a bit about his TV show a bit as well. As an admittedly non-practicing Jew he was asked if he had any Jewish tattoos. His reply? “I have a dollar sign on my hand.” Some in the audience laughed, most did not. Know your audience dude. He recognized how reality TV had changed his life financially for the better and that it opened many doors for him, but he also spent considerable time complaining about the show. He did not enjoy it and never wanted to do subsequent season(s) but was tied to obligations in his contract. He complained about how the producers wanted to make each episode about death. He felt less like an artist and more like he was playing psychiatrist to the customers. He seemed very bitter about the experience.

    Ami James






    Wednesday, November 4, 2009

    This A list female country singer was hired to shoot a video of her just talking. She was given the script ahead of time and had cue cards at the ready. She came in the morning after a concert in a nearby town and was put in hair and makeup. A room was especially decorated for her to shoot the video in. The building was cleared for only essential people and the camera started rolling. And rolling. And rolling. Because for all of her posturing and songs of "I am a strong, smart woman" our singer couldn't even read her cue cards right. Also, "uh" is one of the main words in her vocabulary. The crew, ever the professionals, stuck it out waiting for her to get her few lines right. After a few hours, the director called it a day and said they have what they need and proceeds to try to edit those few lines into something passable. He had to use a lot more video of her singing then he thought he would but he made it work.

    Carrie Underwood




    Tuesday, November 17, 2009


    Spectacular is the one word to describe today's blind. This A list female celebrity chef was overheard in a restaurant the other day. Nothing unusual about that right? I mean people are nosy and we strain our ears. Well, it turns out this celebrity chef who is married was discussing an affair she recently had with this B list male singer with A list name recognition and reputation. She wasn't shy about discussing the details either. I mean explicit, graphic details about what the two did to each other. Nothing out of the ordinary, but definitely not shy in recounting every last act. It does appear to have been a one time thing, but this is totally not what you expect from our chef and the image she tries to portray to the public.

    Singer - John Mayer


    Friday, November 20, 2009

    #1 - You just never know when and where you will run into a former A list television actor and producer and now a stumbling C list parody. Anyway, on Wednesday, our actor was in a drug store in Aldergrove, BC looking at herbal supplements. While he was looking a fellow customer grazed our actor with her basket. At that point our actor said, "watch where you are going," and being in Canada hip checked the woman into a neighboring shelf. The actor was in the store looking for a special herb. Why? The herb is the only one our actor trusts for eliminating the odor of booze on his breath. Our actor was also kicked out of a pizza place the night before for being drunk. The only time in the history of the place it had ever kicked out anyone.

    #4 & #5 - So what do you do if you are a brand new C list celebutard who in your mind thinks you are A list? Why you go up to women and start hitting on them and generally making an ass of yourself. This is especially evident when you walk up to a C+/B- list television actress from a hit for this network drama who is already known for not being friendly and who responds to the horrible pick up lines by saying, "Who in the f**k are you? Are you 12?" When the celebutard answered her our actress just laughed and turned away and told our celebutard to find someone else. Our celebutard then walked away with his bodyguard in tow. Yes, he really has a bodyguard and it really is funny.

    #1 - The Hoff
    #4 & #5 - Levi Johnson & AnnaLynne McCord




    Tuesday, November 24, 2009

    Which up and coming Twilight actress lied about her background and said she lost her birth certificate so she would qualify for her part? She has told everyone she is adopted and Native/First Nations, but in reality has biological parents who raised her and is most definitely not Native/First Nations.

    Tinsel Korey

  4. #34
    Elite Member Jexxifer's Avatar
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    Friday, November 27, 2009

    At a recent movie premiere this married foreign born B-/C+ list movie actor appeared to out this former A list tweener and now B list movie actor. At the premiere our foreign born actor said to a group of people standing next with him, "well you know ______ is gay." He said it very loudly and in the same room as the former tweener, although he wasn't overgeard by the former tweener. The former tweener's C list actress girlfriend was not in attendance but our foreign born B- list movie actress wife was.

    #1 - foreign born actor
    #2 - former tweener
    #3 - former tweener's girlfriend
    #4 - foreign born actor's wife

    #1 - Hugh Darcy
    #2 - Zac Efron
    #3 - Vanessa Hudgens
    #4 - Claire Danes

  5. #35
    Gold Member Mercer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jexxifer View Post
    Tuesday, October 27, 2009

    I love the word cranky. It isn't as good as Phil Hartman saying "Sassy," on SNL but it's still a good word. Most of the time I would call this item a Jackass, but I think it is more cranky rather than anything else. Over the weekend this aging Academy Award winner/nominee actress spent some time in an antique shop. Whether she wasn't feeling well, or had too much to drink at lunch, there was something very off and as I said very cranky about her during her shopping trip.

    She kept asking to see jewelry and items in various showcases and then complaining about what was wrong with all of them. She would point in the direction of an object in a showcase and if the owner didn’t instinctively take out the right item, she would “get snappy” and complain about her as well. Eventually our actress did buy something and her credit card was swiped and returned but she insisted she never received it back. She thought the store owner had kept it. She then abruptly left. A few minutes later, an assistant came back to the antique shop insisting the owner had kept the credit card and demanded its return.

    There was nothing to give back and the assistant finally left in a huff.

    Vanessa Redgrave
    Even if I believed in the fake lawyer and his ultimately uneventful 'reveals' this one would seriously piss me off.

  6. #36
    Elite Member Jexxifer's Avatar
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    Friday, December , 2009

    #3 - In related news, this former B list television actress and now a well known D has a side gig as a business person. Not wanting anyone to know who she is when she calls she uses a different name other than her very recognizable real one.

    #4 - What mom and former A list television actress and now a C list joke answered her front door to trick or treaters in a shirt that exposed all when she reached for candy. Moms and dads were not amused. OK, well maybe the dads were amused. I mean she is again but they probably still took a look.

    #3 - Soleil Moon Frye
    #4 - Pamela Anderson






    Tuesday, December 8, 2009

    What do you do when you are promoting a movie and two of the biggest names in the movie can't stand each other? Well usually they just smile and pretend, but this B list movie actress and B list movie actor dislike each other so much they refuse to even be at the same premiere let alone walk the red carpet together or pose for any pictures.

    Rachel Weisz
    Mark Wahlberg

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by LynnieD View Post
    Me too! And even more surprised that John K puts up with that shit!
    And why would he, is he gay?

  8. #38
    Elite Member mtlebay's Avatar
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    More! Keep 'em coming!

    Is there a website for Entertiment Lawyer? I tried Googling to no avail.
    Go Habs Go!!

  9. #39
    Elite Member Jexxifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtlebay View Post
    More! Keep 'em coming!

    Is there a website for Entertiment Lawyer? I tried Googling to no avail.
    Crazy Days and Nights


    Wednesday, December 9, 2009

    Which story involving a B list television and movie actor and his singer wife should be corrected by a national tabloid but isn't because they have paid so much money to the person who gave them the original story. Now you may be asking why the B list actor doesn't sue. Well it turns out that although this time he is not guilty that hasn't always been the case and he doesn't want those stories to come to light.

    The Josh Duhamel/Fergie/Stripper story

  10. #40
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    Hm, Weisz and Wahlberg. Curious. Wonder what went down there.

  11. #41
    Elite Member Jexxifer's Avatar
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    Friday, December 11, 2009

    #3 - Kindness - This gorgeous B- list movie and television actress with a string of hit television shows and movies as co-star but not the best luck as star doesn't always get the biggest paycheck but she is really good in donating it. In her last two projects she has donated her entire paycheck to a shelter that houses homeless women that have been the victims of domestic violence. She also volunteers her time at the shelter and tries to get as many of them jobs as possible on her productions.

    #4 - Kindness - This C list comic actor who used to be A list and on what seemed like every show on a network for awhile was at an event for one of his children. The event was to raise money for music programs. The school was just trying to raise enough money for one year for one class. Our actor wrote a check that will allow the program to hire two teachers and fund their salaries for the next five years.

    #3 - Carla Gugino
    #4 - Bob Saget








    Tuesday, December 15, 2009

    I always knew this B list Golden Globe nominee/winner television actor was self conscious about his hair. But, what I didn't know is that although he has a few plugs, he covers 95% of his extremely bald head with four different very expensive toupees. He tells his many one night stands not to touch his head and he has four models in his bedroom where he keeps them when not wearing them.

    Jeremy Piven

  12. #42
    Elite Member nancydrew's Avatar
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    Bob Saget rocks.
    (276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
    OK, I can't sing, I can't act, I'm dumb, I'm a hillbilly, but I can twerk, so whatever.-Miley Cyrus

  13. #43
    Elite Member Jexxifer's Avatar
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    Wednesday, December 16, 2009

    This B- list actress from a show that was recently dropped is engaged. The thing is though no paps or tabloids care enough to actually ask her anything about it. This is just not acceptable to her so she has personally started telling every pap she runs into about her engagement but they still don't care to write about it or mention it. This is a direct result of her always being difficult to them in the past so they don't feel like doing her any favors.

    Eliza Dushku










    Monday, December 21, 2009


    So, this A list singer who is married to an A list movie actress was in a music store over the weekend and was looking at guitars and trying some of them out. Also in the store at the same time was a teenager who was looking at effects pedals. The specific one the kid was looking at cost about $500 which is pretty pricey for a pedal.

    Anyway our singer and the teen talked for awhile and then the singer ended up buying a guitar for himself. While he was at the counter paying he told the cashier to also charge the effects pedal to his credit card and to tell the teen Merry Christmas.

    #1 - A list singer
    #2 - A list actress

    #1 - Keith Urban
    #2 - Nicole Kidman

  14. #44
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Wow, that's awesome to hear about Keith Urban.

  15. #45
    Elite Member Jexxifer's Avatar
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    Tuesday, December 22, 2009

    So this female Real reality star was out shopping on Sunday and standing in line with what my source said was an incredibly hot guy. Anyway, who she was with is not really the point of this, but just an added bonus. Anyway, the point is our reality star who has even had her own show was talking on her cell phone in a very, very loud voice. This was annoying to the other 20 people in line, but not as annoying as the way she was talking on the phone. It was described as the most superficial, high pitched squeaky phone call of all time and everyone in line was cringing. The guy with her was apparently used to it and his main job appeared to be carrying things for the reality star. Well, as the line progresses she is so absorbed in her own world and her own call that she fails to see an elderly man in front of her who has bent over to retrieve something. Not seeing anyone in front of her, our reality star pushes by the guy, knocking him to the floor and walks up to the register. Meanwhile the people behind her help the man back to his feet. Our reality star continued to chat very very loudly the entire time at the register and as she walked out the door.

    Jo De La Rosa


    ****************


    Wednesday, December 23, 2009

    #1 & 2 - This foreign born much more famous in the rest of the world than in the US world class athlete and his American born C list singer/reality star broke up because she said she wanted to really focus on her singing craft. Her boyfriend then laughed so hard he cried. She didn't find it funny and they are no more.

    #1 - Lewis Hamilton
    #2 - Nicole Scherzinger


    ********************************

    Wednesday, December 30, 2009

    Oh, I guess this actress is B list, but only because of her name. If not for her name she would be C list at best. Movies, always movies. Oh, and she is married. Oh, and she has child/ren. One of her favorite tricks for losing weight is to meet people for lunch or dinner. This works best for her when it is a first time meeting. She will go to great lengths to order a big meal. When it arrives she invariably finds something wrong with it and sends it back while insisting her companion keep eating. When her food arrives again, she picks at it and will say she doesn't want to send it back again but it still isn't perfect. By this time her companion usually finishes and our actress just says she will eat a big dinner when in fact she will eat nothing.

    Kate Beckinsale


    ******************************


    Wednesday, December 30, 2009

    This actress was definitely A list back in the day. And by back in the day, I mean prior to television. She was all movies. Our actress came from a very unstable background with perhaps the queen of stage moms as her mother. Our actress was never nominated for any of the big awards but starred in lots of movies. She was in and out of marriages frequently and one of the ways she got out of one was by killing her husband. Oh, not the husband everyone knows was found dead by a gunshot. Nope. He is considered her second husband, but in reality was her third. The second husband was a guy in the mafia who had seen our actress on screen and loved her. He wined her dined her and romanced her. Our actress loved it and eloped with him after just a few weeks. Well, at the same time this was happening our actresses career was about to skyrocket because she was moving to a new studio. The new husband wanted her to stay home and be a wife and our actress and her domineering mother wanted the big career. So, one night our actress and the man who would be her next husband and her next victim killed her husband of two months and buried him in the desert. It is said that the reason her next husband was killed was revenge by the mafia but I say it was our actress who saw a future which was brighter with a new man in her life. With divorce not an option, a gun was.

    Jean Harlow
    Last edited by Jexxifer; January 1st, 2010 at 11:03 PM.

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