Bodily Fluid Blind Vice -Vamparella Vein pop

[card]

From Ted this morning. I apologize if it's already posted, I didn't see it yet.

One Bodily Fluid Blind Vice

I think we use the phrase drama queen too much. Like, it's totally lost its meaning. Which is too bad, because Vamperella Vein-Pop is, like, the only babe I can think of who seriously deserves to be crowned DQ of Hollywood. (Yep, Ashlee Simpson you ain't got nothing on the wanton one.)
So, get this. Ms. V-P managed to find herself a nice, non-famous boyfriend. We'll call him Rock Helmet. Now, Vamperella wasn't taking Rock to red carpet events and stuff--but he sure was treating her right whenever she got the hardened itch (which was far less than her saucy image lets on). But, V.V-P. is so damn competitive, I bet there's only one guy in the freakin' universe she'd condescend to be seen in public with.
Yep, the one, the only, the perpetually full of preening pizzazz studmuffin of more than a few past Blind Vices, Slick Brick.
But here's the thing. Basically, every babe in the world wants to do Slick. So, even though Rock's a major babe, it's not like the competition for name S.B. ain't fierce.
Yet, as it happens, the competitive Vamperella managed to score herself a few romps in the sack with Mr. B. Impressive? Sort of. But it's not like these two have gone--or are going to go public. Which must be killing image-conscious Vein-Pop. Like, I bet she makes mock-up magazine covers that feature the two of them embraced, Jen and Vince style.
Wait. Did you forget all about Rock? Well, of course you did, sillies. Because so did Vamperella, once she got a bite out of the Slickster!


Yep, in classic, passive-aggressive fashion, Vein-Pop just totally blew off poor Rock. Still, the non-famous fella called. And called again. So one day, she finally agreed to see the dude, acting as if it she gave a damn. But once Rock came over, Vamperella called up Slicky and handed the phone over to Mr. Helmet, who then had to hear the six words no dude wants to hear:
"Uh, yeah, sure. We slept together."
We can report that Rock has recovered and will prolly avoid high-strung actresses in the future. And much as we'd like to confirm that Vamperella and Brick are banging up a storm and keeping their shared enclave's nabes up all night, we cannot. He prefer boys, in the end.
And yes, both Vamperella and Slick have appeared in the column this week.
And it ain't



My guess-Terry Hatcher & George Clooney

[ray shawn]

Originally Posted by card

From Ted this morning. I apologize if it's already posted, I didn't see it yet.

One Bodily Fluid Blind Vice

I think we use the phrase drama queen too much. Like, it's totally lost its meaning. Which is too bad, because Vamperella Vein-Pop is, like, the only babe I can think of who seriously deserves to be crowned DQ of Hollywood. (Yep, Ashlee Simpson you ain't got nothing on the wanton one.)
So, get this. Ms. V-P managed to find herself a nice, non-famous boyfriend. We'll call him Rock Helmet. Now, Vamperella wasn't taking Rock to red carpet events and stuff--but he sure was treating her right whenever she got the hardened itch (which was far less than her saucy image lets on). But, V.V-P. is so damn competitive, I bet there's only one guy in the freakin' universe she'd condescend to be seen in public with.
Yep, the one, the only, the perpetually full of preening pizzazz studmuffin of more than a few past Blind Vices, Slick Brick.
But here's the thing. Basically, every babe in the world wants to do Slick. So, even though Rock's a major babe, it's not like the competition for name S.B. ain't fierce.
Yet, as it happens, the competitive Vamperella managed to score herself a few romps in the sack with Mr. B. Impressive? Sort of. But it's not like these two have gone--or are going to go public. Which must be killing image-conscious Vein-Pop. Like, I bet she makes mock-up magazine covers that feature the two of them embraced, Jen and Vince style.
Wait. Did you forget all about Rock? Well, of course you did, sillies. Because so did Vamperella, once she got a bite out of the Slickster!


Yep, in classic, passive-aggressive fashion, Vein-Pop just totally blew off poor Rock. Still, the non-famous fella called. And called again. So one day, she finally agreed to see the dude, acting as if it she gave a damn. But once Rock came over, Vamperella called up Slicky and handed the phone over to Mr. Helmet, who then had to hear the six words no dude wants to hear:
"Uh, yeah, sure. We slept together."
We can report that Rock has recovered and will prolly avoid high-strung actresses in the future. And much as we'd like to confirm that Vamperella and Brick are banging up a storm and keeping their shared enclave's nabes up all night, we cannot. He prefer boys, in the end.
And yes, both Vamperella and Slick have appeared in the column this week.
And it ain't



My guess-Terry Hatcher & George Clooney

I agree with your guess.

[LynnieD]

Totally agree. I thought of Teri Hatcher/George Clooney immediately....

[muchlove]

Well everything about it screams Angelina and Brad, except that they live together, she's pregnant and they're probably getting married. This makes it sound like a much more casual thing.

I have no idea who it could be.

[travelbug]

Why isn't anyone thinking about Lohan? Isn't Vein-Pop a giveaway as well as the title of head Drama Queen? Exhaustion, asthma attacks, dramatic weight loss, car wrecks, bulimia/drug admissions...this girl is on the cover of a mag every week for the last year for her latest drama.

Don't know who the non-famous guy is but the guy every girl has banged has got to be Colin Farrell, dontcha think?

[Tati]

^^ Lindsay's pic is included in the collage of those who "it ain't" though. And it says every girl wants to do the guy, not that every girl has. I'm not sure Colin fits that bill.

[moomies]

Yea I would think it was Angie just because of vein pop...
Paris has some veiny feet, though...

[travelbug]

Originally Posted by Tati

^^ Lindsay's pic is included in the collage of those who "it ain't" though. And it says every girl wants to do the guy, not that every girl has. I'm not sure Colin fits that bill.

I can't say I want to do Colin either but I always thought when the columnist says "it isn't <list of names>" that they are just covering their ass. I mean, c'mon, George Clooney? He's waaayyy past his prime. Do you really think Hollywood women are busting their ass to boink him?

[LynnieD]

I'd screw George Clooney faster than a NY minute. Hells yea! I think he still looks mighty fine......