Bad Fish 7/22/08

IheartParis · July 22nd, 2008, 07:22 PM

Winners Use Drugs: Because I'm Bored...Bad Fish Blind Items

#1 What dashing heartthrob is a secret butt pirate? The B+ list actor has been seen with more than a few beauties but word on the downlow is that he has a kept boyfriend whom he prefers to whatever eye candy he currently has on his arm. A gay extra on the set of one of his hit films (of which he had many in a short period of time) noticed the young actor almost desperately going out of his way to befriend the openly or perceivably gay members of the crew and extras, even going so far as to try and invite himself to different get togethers formed by cast and crew members who'd befriended one another. On the set of the sequel, the extra noticed the same borderline predatory behavior and made a point to avoid the actor, to no avail. Later, after many failed attempts on the part of the actor to befriend the gay extra, a frightening incident occured. One night after leaving the set with a few others, he noticed a familiar black SUV in the rear view mirror, with an even more familiar face behind the wheel. It was the actor. After a wild goose chase across Hollywood in which the young men were clearly being followed, it ended as abruptly as it started, coming to a stop when the SUV mysteriously gunned in an opposite direction after the young men pulled through a gas station. To top it off, there are still longstanding rumors that he and another key player in another very successful film franchise had a long term relationship for the lengthy duration of filming on the (overseas) set. I can't give you any strong hints (well, I did give one at the beginning of the paragraph) but I can tell you that both his first and last name could be found in a dictionary.

#2 More gay actors! This muscle bound hunk has a sexy, distinctive voice and quite the charming smile. While in the past he's said that he doesn't spend excessively on women for the first date, he doesn't seem to have the same philosophy with his real dates--the boys. In an incident 'round a cocaine dusted coffee table, he brashly prepositioned a young man, bragging of his status and material goods and how expendable they were in light of his cash. He arrogantly threw his Rolex on the table, money from his wallets, anything of value, in an effort to show not only how rich he was but how little he cared for it in light of trying to bed the lad, whatever the price. Alas, he was turned down. Its because of these tales that another one earlier this year caused shock with the rent boys and the young gay wannabes of Hollywood. Our hulking, shaven headed action star became a father. The pregnancy and birth were not publicized, and the star was never actually seen with the woman in question, raising the question as to the nature of how the child was conceived. Yes, I'm not the only one that has expressed their suspicions about our high octane actor (with some producing credits). And while our actor in #1 had both first and last names you could find in a dictionary, this actor only has one like that. And I won't tell you which one it is.

Merlot-N-Bali · July 22nd, 2008, 08:15 PM

#1 Orlando Bloom

tkdgirl · July 22nd, 2008, 08:15 PM

1. Orlando Bloom. Duh.

2. Vin Diesel.

Natalie · July 22nd, 2008, 08:20 PM

1. Orlando...what a freak
2. definitely Vin Desiel

Shiver · July 22nd, 2008, 08:25 PM

I agree with Orlando and Vin Diesel. But what about the 2nd actor in #1 - Elijah Wood or one of the other Hobbits?

sparkly · July 22nd, 2008, 08:30 PM

1. Orlando Bloom no doubt, and it just confirms my suspicions that he's creepy. I can totally see him stalking extras from a movie.

2.Vin Diesel

mistify · July 22nd, 2008, 08:44 PM

NONONONONONONONONONO!!!

not my Vin or Orlando.. *covers ears singing lalalalalala"

Raspberry gashes · July 22nd, 2008, 08:47 PM

Knew Orlando liked boys.

tkdgirl · July 22nd, 2008, 09:13 PM

I could see Orlando and Elijah Wood hooking up. Orlando has only been in two major franchise moves- LOTR and PotC. Of course, it *could* have been Viggo.

kersalli · July 23rd, 2008, 01:58 AM

#1.) There have been gay rumors swirling about Elijah Wood since about the time LOTR came out and he's never publically spoken about them to my knowledge. I believe that he and Orlando likely did have a relationship during the filming. Why does Orlando have to be such a freak about it though? Stalking extras? Yikes...

#2.) Vin Diesel. That mystery pregnancy thing seemed fishy to me too.

funky_chicken · July 23rd, 2008, 04:07 AM

Totally Orlando for 1.
But for 2, I didn't get that: has Vin Diesel really a child, or is that the BI that claims it? I didn't really care for Vin Diesel so far.