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Thread: Ted C. Blind Item 02/07/08 - One Muscle Matchmaker Blind Vice

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    Bronze Member fuzuoko's Avatar
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    Default Ted C. Blind Item 02/07/08 - One Muscle Matchmaker Blind Vice

    Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth

    Furrowed Frank is such a mainstay in contemporary entertainment, visible everywhere on screens big and small. ‘Course, many a pop culture aficionado insists what F2 does is definitely not entertainment, but it is. Indeed, the dude’s whole life is as meticulously written as his hair is coiffed. And that ain’t just my big-hair Texas exaggeration shootin’ off, trust.

    Here’s how F2’s love life plays out, for ince. Oh, and need you even guess? Yes, bien sûr, F.F. is a closeted gay man, do they not make any other kind in this biz any more? I swear, I really do think we’re regressing since the time of Rock Hudson and that ersatz marriage to his secretary. I mean, get real. Andy Dick and his dubious hangers-on are practically the only friggin’ tier of boy-swingin’ guys to come clean, save a few souls like T.R. Knight, who was forced outta the closet, anyway.

    Look, Furrowed had a b-f for a while, all fairly discreet 'n' stuff, never really got out there that much in the gay-sniffing zeitgeist that’s so increasingly prevalent...our apologies if this Vice department’s only expedited that dynamic, but I think it would have happened anyway. Now, F2 and his man have busted up. And since since Frank is under such tremendous pressure to perform before his mouthwatering public, Franky-poo’s needs must not go unmet, correct?

    Furrowed’s trainer sure seems to think so. The big ol’ cut and ab-perf hunk has taken it upon himself to procure dates for Furrowed. And the damn guy’s straight! But that doesn’t stop him from interviewing potential exquisitely muscled men on the floor of the gym where he trains F.F., usually beginning with a query such as, “How would you feel if a big celebrity found you attractive and wanted to go out with you?”

    Initial response is key here. If the boy’s dark eyes (as they almost always are, as Mr. F loves him some Latino lovin’) light up instantly, that’s usually a signal to go to the next step, which is either making the intro right there on the gym floor, or an almost immediate dinner or coffee setup. See, F ain’t got much time.

    We could blame it on his pressing and highly visible work schedule, s'pose, but that wouldn’t really be accurate. More to the nooky-crazed point would be that Frank is much more interested in moving on to the next bulging find his trainer procures for him—rather than getting to know any of the fixed-up fellas, at all.

    How long will it be before one of the quickly discarded dudes gets supersteamed and goes to the tabs, we wonder? Not very.


    And It Ain't:

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Furrowed - does that mean the guy is has deep wrinkles or what? Do the names mean something in Ted's blinds?

    Other than that I thought of Ryan Seacrest, especially with "people saying its not entertainment, but it is" - Ryan provides tabloid news and hosts American Idol. But he definitely doesn't seem like he would have a trainer, he's not very muscular.
    Women ain't gonna let a thing like sense fuck up their argument. - Chris Rock

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    Silver Member Lily317's Avatar
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    What about Vince McMahon - WWE promoter? I always thought he was playing for the other team.

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    Elite Member tkdgirl's Avatar
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    Dwayne Johnson, AKA The Rock? He recently got divorced, started out on TV as a wrestler (as if that's entertainment) and moved to film.

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    In the same vein, how about Hulk Hogan? He's done both TV and film...and he's divorcing, too.

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    ^^ Could be:

    ‘Course, many a pop culture aficionado insists what F2 does is definitely not entertainment, but it is.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



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    Elite Member tkdgirl's Avatar
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    ^^ You can say that about any pro wrestler who has done movies. Ew... though I did like the Rock in The Rundown.

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Hulk Hogan would definitely fit the "furrowed" part, but I don't personally get a gay vibe from him at all. Vince McMahon, yes.
    Women ain't gonna let a thing like sense fuck up their argument. - Chris Rock

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    David Blaine? He did do one obscure movie and people often question is what does entertainment. Also, he has a trainer to get fit for his more grueling stunts.

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    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    I think it's a wrestler too, because a lot of people don't see that as entertainment and he keeps mentioning the word 'big'. But I don't really know any apart from Hulk.

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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Someone who is very much in the public eye, since it says his schedule is very pressing and visible. And "furrowed" makes me think furrowed brows.

    The Rock fits the unconventional job and furrowed brow, but he's not exactly highly visible with an evidently pressing schedule. What about Simon Cowell?

    The highly visible pressing schedule thing makes me think it might be someone on TV on a weekly basis, in addition to doing movies or bigger projects. Maybe it's an athlete? I'd love it if it were about Tony Parker, just to shut up Eva Longwhoria. Or Tony Romo is also getting a lot of entertainment-related press, as is Tom Brady.

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    This could be a wrestler, but I don't think it's The Rock. For one, I wouldn't refer to his hair as "coiffed". The description sounds like someone with a lot of hair that's well-groomed. And secondly, as was pointed out , The Rock doesn't have a highly visible pressing schedule. Right now, he's a successful actor who's schedule is no more known than any other actor.

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    Bronze Member fuzuoko's Avatar
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    Arnold Schwarzenegger.

    Just imagine!

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    Just a minute. I don't think there is a dispute that wrestling is entertainment. The main question has always been how real is it. I'm going back to my earlier guess with David Blaine. While many people think what David Copperfield does is entertainment, Blaine goes in a completely different direction. There always been a debate over whether or not his stunts are entertainment or just stupid attempts at getting attention.

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    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    Furrowed Frank is such a mainstay in contemporary entertainment, visible everywhere on screens big and small.
    Is David Blaine really everywhere though?
    If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

    - Kahlil Gibran

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