Ted C. blind Item 1/18/08-One Remind Us to Never Sleep Over There Blind Vice

sparkly · January 17th, 2008, 09:50 PM

Well, we were going to blab all about pee-happy Super-Duper Cooper’s nasty-ass demand that his (ex) blondie ditz dame get an abortion—most men are simply hideous, straight and gay, all there is to it—but after last week’s pooch-offing Blind left us in a very bad mood, just had to offer up something, uh, a tad more festive to ponder this week. Hope you don’t mind. Promise, back to the desultory trash soon!
So, remember Bravado Boom-Cocks, the star with the overly loud, potty-mouthed manners who chewed out a poor party host? He’s just gotten himself a fabulous new mansion. Ain’t entertainment money just devilishly over-the-top? The pad’s as huge as the boy’s rumored endowment, promise. And he was bragging about the spread’s size to an amigo recently. And said amigo was quite aware of BBC’s fondness for masturbation. So, he asked the award-winning celebrity if he had yet autoerotically christened the new mansion yet.
“Are you kidding?” bellowed the outspoken pisser. “Every room.”
Jeez. He hasn't even moved in to the joint yet. That sex addict works fast.

And It Ain't

<LI _extended="true"> <LI _extended="true">

Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth

SweetPea · January 18th, 2008, 10:58 AM

The first paragraph sounds like John Mayer & Jessica Simpson (Pee Happy & ex-blonde ditz)

I thought of Stallone for a second because of the wording over the top, a movie he starred in. Multi-talented because he directs, stars, and produces. Now I think it's Russell Crowe.

gossipteer · January 18th, 2008, 11:02 AM

Dame Judi Dench has revealed that her Casino Royale co-star Daniel Craig has a huge penis.
Apparently she caught a glimpse of his whopping member on set as the James Bond actor got changed in his trailer.
Dench told the Daily Star: "It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me!"

And he just bought a new home near London.

karistiona · January 18th, 2008, 11:06 AM

Snicker, I love Judi Dench, that's too funny. I don't think many people were in much doubt after seeing him in those trunks in Casino Royale.

Sialia · January 18th, 2008, 03:17 PM

I don't think Daniel Craig fits any of the other clues, though (in this blind or in the original one).

I'm going with Russell Crowe.

Natalie · January 18th, 2008, 06:25 PM

It's obviously a "Kevin"

I say Kevin Bacon

Sialia · January 18th, 2008, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natalie

It's obviously a "Kevin"

I say Kevin Bacon

Good catch on that one - I can't believe I didn't notice that all the "And it ain'ts" are Kevins. The "and it ain'ts" from the original BI are Sean Penn, Billy Bob Thornton and Denis Leary. Sean Penn links to Kevin Bacon through Mystic River, and Billy Bob Thornton did some TV movie with Kyra Sedgwick in 1987 but that's all I can find. I'm wondering if there are other links for those guys to Kevin Bacon. Or if there are any other Kevins it could be?

Hmmm...actually, I think if it were Kevin Bacon, it would say something about BBC being married....

MissVenus · January 21st, 2008, 08:54 PM

Bravado Boom-Cocks... why am I associating this with Colin Farrell???

OK, editing cause I found this over on AGC Main Page:

TED CASABLANCA 09/20
One Hell-Phone Blind Vice: Bravado Boom-Cocks is quite famous but not always exactly beloved. Even though he’s a mucho gifted, award-showered, multitalented performer, he’s not really known for his private cool. Indeed, BBC was out here on the coast, having flown in for a project he’s doing, as well as a charity gig he was asked to participate in—reason being, the charity’s contributing beaucoup bucks to B’s latest pro undertaking. He was sorta forced into it, actually. The organizer of said project had been in direct contact (no rep go-between) with Bravado, a line of communication Mr. Boom-Cocks sometimes chooses, as he detests pretense intensely. But Boomy-baby now regrets that decision, big-time. See, Bravado isn’t exactly known for dressing, how shall we say, chicly? BBC rarely wears anything even approaching couture. For this reason, the organizer gave the charity event’s handler Boom-Cock’s private cell number, which the handler blithely called pronto. "Even though things are more casual out here," the charitable worker bee blathered on, once Bravado answered, "you really shouldn’t be dressing like you’re going to somebody’s barbecue or anything." Bravado’s polite response? "F--k you, lady!" he bellowed, and promptly hung up. Then B dialed, brow slightly sweating with anger. Called up the guy who had given out his number in the first place. "How dare you? If you ever give out my number again," BBC fumed, "I will see to it that you get me a new phone and call every one of my contacts and give them the new number, you f--king bastard!" BBC wasn’t done, either: "And for punishment, tonight, when I show up, I will be taking no pictures whatsoever, not with anybody, no matter how much money they’ve donated, so you can learn your lesson and never do this to me again, you f--king jerk!" The poor man, no doubt holding his own phone far away from his eardrums, begged BBC to reconsider. He did not. And you thought Ireland Baldwin was the only put-upon cellie caller in town? Think again. AND IT AIN’T: Sean Penn, Billy Bob Thornton or Denis Leary. Colin Farrell

Laurent · January 21st, 2008, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natalie

It's obviously a "Kevin"

I say Kevin Bacon

That was a very good catch.

Hmmm, there aren't really a lot of famous Kevins . . .

Kevin Bacon
Kevin Federline
Kevin Kline

gossipbebeh · January 21st, 2008, 10:26 PM

Kevin Smith, Kevin James or Kevin Sorbo were the only other Kevins I came up with

SweetPea · January 22nd, 2008, 11:25 AM

" is quite famous but not always exactly beloved. Even though he’s a mucho gifted, award-showered, multitalented performer, he’s not really known for his private cool"

I don't know any Kevin that fits this description.

Lily · January 22nd, 2008, 12:28 PM

I think this is a funny title for a Blind Vice.

That's all. Carry on.

Benni · January 22nd, 2008, 02:55 PM

I had thought it might be somebody Latino with the mucho and all the amigo's in the blind items. They are both wierd blind items.

louiswinthorpe111 · January 23rd, 2008, 03:16 PM

I think we may be onto Kevin Bacon and here's why. I remember his nude shower scene at the end of Wild Things, which showed his "member." I remember being quite impressed with Mr. Bacon.

GKing · January 23rd, 2008, 09:16 PM

Oh, my. I was doing a search to see if there were any other ideas out there for this blind and came across a few of Ted's Q&A posted. I've copied them below:

Quote:

Dear Ted:
Uh-oh, you PO'd your mama—LOL! I do the same to mine every day. I was reading about Bravado Boom-Cock in One-Hell Phone Blind Vice and, quite literally, Tom Hanks popped into my head. Is he our potty mouth?

Dear Far Off from Forrest:
Totally not our guy, g-friend…BBC has no wife-unit and is far less traditional than good ol' Tom.

Quote:

Bravado Boom-Cock...George Clooney?

Dear Cock Around the Clooney:
Uh, no, and not even a good guess for the screaming star from that Hell-Phone Blind Vice. Darlin', G.C. is the nicest, not the naughtiest (at least where manners are concerned).

Quote:

Dear Ted:
Is Bravado Boom-Cock Russell Crowe? If so, it could have been even worse for the charity organizer if he was in phone-throwing range at the time.

Hold the Horn:
Darling, that's way too obvious a guess for our bad-tempered boy Russ. Think a bit more off the beaten path.

Quote:

Dear Ted:
The blind item for Bravado Boom-Cocks is so easy! Jamie Foxx. You like BBC, don't you?

Dead Wrong:
So no (times two), my Texan friend. The only thing skirt-chasing Jamie and BBC have in common is their primo pipes. The similarities end right there, trust.

I think there's a clue in the use of 'hell' and 'devilishly', too. I was rereading the original and for a moment considered Johnny Depp a remarkably good fit (From Hell), but I don't think the second one sounds like him.