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Old November 28th, 2007, 02:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
mrs.v
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Default Panache Report 11/28/07

On the court, he is one of the best in the game. Off the court, when
he has a couple of drinks, he likes to expose his private parts which
are allegedly covered in blisters. He's also considered a violent
drunk. He likes to destroy property and he's verbally and sometimes
physically abusive to those in his inner circle. This baller is so
sleazy, we are getting dual reports that he transmits chlamydia and
herpes. He is a walking health epidemic and doesn't give a damn.
Recently, away from the public and behind closed doors, he's booking
escorts because of their promiscuity, this way, if they ever try to
sue him for transmitting one of his STD's, he has a built in defense:
With her background, she may have infected me and she was probably
infected by one of her numerous clients. Despite his wealth and fame,
a few escorts won't see him because after he drinks from his silver
flask, he becomes argumentative and violent. We reported in a prior
blind item that a celebrity likes to have sex in the dark because of
his under-endowment but this baller is having sex in the dark so women
won't notice his blisters. Hints: It's "not" Allen Iverson and you
don't have to be a basketball fan to know who he is.
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Old November 28th, 2007, 03:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Good Lord. This is disgusting...
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Old November 28th, 2007, 03:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Shaq. He's also been in movies.
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Old November 28th, 2007, 03:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Talk about a foul shot!
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Old November 28th, 2007, 03:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Panache sometimes uses colors to identify the team if the BI is about a pro athlete.
She referred to "silver" flask and Orlando Magic are blue/silver/white, so it could be Shaq. Dallas Mavericks also have silver, so it could be Tony Parker. Eva LongWhoria was rumored to have herpes.
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Old November 28th, 2007, 04:10 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Gross! I'm sure there are still some groupies out there that would have his kid too.
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Old November 28th, 2007, 04:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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isn't shaq w/miami and tony parker w/san antonio? neither are silver as far as i'm aware.

i'll also admit that's the full extent of my bball knowledge...

is this guy still playing? if not, i'd have to think dennis rodman. but i think from the wording, this guy *is* still playing.

wild guess: lebron james (just kidding)
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Old November 28th, 2007, 04:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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most people on Panache's page say it is Jason Kidd
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Old November 28th, 2007, 04:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Doesn't he play/played for Dallas (silver)?
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Old November 28th, 2007, 04:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
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he totally played for dallas and is now w/the nets. and the nets do have silver in their colors!

(man, i do know bball...wow!)

i still say eww...
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Old November 28th, 2007, 04:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
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huh. Ugly AND has herpes, killer combo there Kidd!
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Old November 28th, 2007, 04:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dixie Normos View Post
huh. Ugly AND has herpes, killer combo there Kidd!
Yup. And according to wikipedia he has a history of abuse.

I think we have a winner. Ugh.
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Old November 29th, 2007, 12:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by feedthepilot View Post
isn't shaq w/miami and tony parker w/san antonio? neither are silver as far as i'm aware.
Shaq played with the Magic in his early career, with Penny Hardaway, then went to Lakers, then to Miami.

My mistake, Tony Parker is with another team.
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Old November 29th, 2007, 12:21 AM   #14 (permalink)
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It's got to be a superstar that people outside of basketball know by name. That's three people, Kobe, Shaq, and LeBron. I'll say Kobe, although Shaq is a good guess.

But, then again, Rick Foxx from the Lakers is rumored to have given Vanessa Williams herpes.
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Old November 29th, 2007, 04:28 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Jason Kidd is a good guess.
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