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Thread: Ted Casablanca Blind Vice 09/27/07

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    Default Ted Casablanca Blind Vice 09/27/07

    Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth



    One Closeted Blind Vice—Literally

    Oh, it was such a gay party, and by that definition I don’t mean gay gay, just a good time. A typical Hollywood do, the festive bash was at a posh residence. Stars from both screens were mingling right next to the Diet Cokes, the boozy cocktails and the pigs in blankets. And in the middle of it all, nonfamous babes ‘n’ hons were oh so casually just la-dee-dah-ing it up, pretending like mad they weren’t desperate to be the human blanket around Dewbie Stammer’s very own little piggy.
    Oh, that Dewb, such the charmer. Never a classically handsome dude, D has nevertheless—like many not exactly stunning guys, Owen Wilson, for ince—always managed to keep the gals fretting by his side. Alas, to no avail. No one woman has ever seemed quite fretlicous enough to warrant being by Dewbie’s side for very long, quel crap.
    But that certainly didn’t keep the femmes from following Mr. S round the above party, as (pathetically) discreet as they thought they were being. So very ironically, it turned out to be a guy who made the following discovery:
    A fellow guest got bored. After all, it was late, and a lot of the major players, not to mention the soiree’s staff, had gone home. Said guy went to the coat check room, which had been abandoned, and he headed back into the furthest interior space inside the long closet. He heard moans. And he heard slurps. And he realized Missy Coat Check might just still be around after all, getting a very nice tip from a fellow departing reveler.
    But when the dude got to the back of the check area, looking up from his crouched position and staring back was a superflushed Dewbie Stammer, having just finished servicing a guy lying down on the floor. No wonder Dewbie never seems to meet the right girl!
    (He’s always looking for the right trick in a box.)




    And It Ain't

    • Luke Wilson
    • Jim Carrey
    • Jeremy Piven
    *****SUPERTRAMP=SUPERFREAK*****

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    Bronze Member Geisha's Avatar
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    I immediately thought Wil Farrell but hes married.

    My next guess is Vince Vaughn.

    It is obviously a comedian, a ladies man, who doesn't keep women around long.

    I would say Andy Samberg or whatever the SNL guys name is, but I doubt he would be in Hollywood.

    Perhaps Dewbie was in a Wes Anderson flick with the Wilson bros.

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Trick in the Box-Dick in the box-J.T.!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Silver Member Bkny Mix's Avatar
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    David Spade?

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    this ones got me goin' nuts!!!! help me folks!!!! someone's gotta know!!!

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    Greysfang?

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bkny Mix View Post
    David Spade?
    That was my first thought too! He always has the ladies around him despite looking like a troll.
    Women ain't gonna let a thing like sense fuck up their argument. - Chris Rock

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    ^^ But that goes for all the funny men. They're all fug, yet all of them are womanizers.

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    You know who this is! That is the best clue EVER-trick in the box. Dick in the box. HELLO???? Justin Timberlake people!!!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member RevellingInSane's Avatar
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    Timberfake.



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    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    but he does keep girls around for lengthy periods of time ........
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(•_•)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

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    Elite Member tkdgirl's Avatar
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    I'm telling you! JT is George Michael 2.0!!!! He set my gaydar off immediately in N'Sync.

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    All this gossip about hiphoppers being gay, him hangin' around them, keeping one long-term girl (beard) around, the relationship with Jessica Biel (long suspected to be a lesbian), it all certainly is suspect. He probably switched teams a few years ago, or plays for both.

    As for "Dewbie Stammer", it sounds a lot like Kelsey Grammer in rhyme, but I doubt it's him although it could have been several years ago.

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    I don't think it is JT. I think it is the person who he did the song with. Who was the SNL guy that he did the skit with?

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    Elite Member crackho's Avatar
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    ^^ Andy Samberg

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