Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Ted Casablanca 07/03/07

  1. #1
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    on Lake Erie in Ohio
    Posts
    1,073

    Default Ted Casablanca 07/03/07

    Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
    One Pansy-Pushing Blind Vice: Bulbous Seymour is one fine piece o' man-lovin’ meat. Not a bad actor, either. But Bulbous knows—just like most audiences and H-town execs are aware—that his best talents lie not on the silver screen but in the golden nether regions of B.S.’ impressive bod. Yeah, he’s a stud. And what do studs do best? Now, before I get too carried away on whatever (or whomever) Bulbous utilizes his heavenly powers for—this Blind Vice ain’t about him. Well, not exactly. See, Mr. Es has been doing what we here at the Awful Truth live for: gossiping about other closeted homosexual movie stars! Too fun for the hard-abbed tum! Delish, darlin's, so let’s get to whom B.S. is blabbin’ ‘bout: Toothy Tile, natch. You were expecting Gussy 'n' Fussy, perhaps? Like, who cares about those ersatz het jokers anymore? (Not too many folks, I assure ya.) Nah, it’s all about Toothy Tile—and when the hell this gorgeous scaredy-puss is gonna disclose his sexual pref, already—and Bulbous knows this fagola factoid. So much so, he’s been mouthing off at chic Hell-Ay events about just how Toothy isn’t foolin’ anybody. Well, I beg to differ. Had I been at this one par-tick fancy-schmancy soiree, I would have gladly explained to B.S. that half of Bush’s “Mare-kuh” thinks T.T. is as heterosexual as our current prez. Wait, Bush is straight, isn’t he? Don’t answer that, actually, do not want to go there… Back to B.S., who’s clearly dying for Toothy’s sexuality to come to the surface so the media will ease off his dubious dame-doin' existence. Uh, word to the unwise wower: Boyfriend, you just keep on gettin’ higher 'n' higher at those swell dos you go to. You’ll be outing Toothy long before anybody like moi would ever dream of doing so. AND IT AIN’T: Sean Penn; Colin Farrell; Will Smith

    AGC MAIN PAGE BLIND ITEMS

  2. #2
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    10 miles from Pootie Tang
    Posts
    21,909

    Default

    Matt McConaughey, or however you spell his last name, talking about Jake G.?

  3. #3
    Silver Member cherrychip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    281

    Default

    Posters on another board (are we allowed to divulge the names of other boards here?) think it may be Owen Wilson, w/ his odd nose that could be considered bulbous. They also said Bulbous Seymour could be a shout-out to Butterscotch Stallion.

  4. #4
    Elite Member RevellingInSane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Where Being PC is understood as a fault!
    Posts
    11,591

    Default

    Is Owen known for a great bod? Too many Texas references here so I am going with McConaghey as the motormouth and "Mare-kuh" gives me the picture of a horse, you know like that movie about mountings...err...mountains with ole Jakey G.



  5. #5
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    42,521

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kingcap72 View Post
    Matt McConaughey, or however you spell his last name, talking about Jake G.?
    Oh yeah. Let there be no doubt,Sugar!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  6. #6
    Elite Member SweetPea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Garden State
    Posts
    4,839

    Default

    Yup, the Texas reference and the fact that MM's sexuality has been speculated about so much lately.
    Into the sunrise. The sunset is sad to me….it only means the night is coming.

  7. #7
    Elite Member RevellingInSane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Where Being PC is understood as a fault!
    Posts
    11,591

    Default

    I am willing to give to charity and work my magic to make McConaughey straight. hehehe



Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Ted Casablanca 06/28/07
    By pusssykatt in forum Blind Items
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: June 30th, 2007, 10:44 PM
  2. Ted Casablanca 03/08
    By pusssykatt in forum Blind Items
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: April 8th, 2007, 07:38 PM
  3. Ted Casablanca 03/15
    By greysfang in forum Blind Items
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: March 20th, 2007, 10:46 AM
  4. Ted Casablanca 03/12
    By greysfang in forum Blind Items
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: March 15th, 2007, 12:38 PM
  5. Ted Casablanca 03/01/07
    By pusssykatt in forum Blind Items
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: March 10th, 2007, 12:33 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •