Ted Casablanca 04/27/07

[pusssykatt]

Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
Here I go again: another damn Vice ‘bout yet another limp-wristed Hollywood hubby. And I use the antigay terminology only because it’s deserved in this sitch. Fey Ray had it all. Beautiful woman. Gorgeous friends, hangers-on and so forth—all the accompanying high-life accoutrements that strangely just seem to come to heterosexual couples playing house, so rarely the gay ones, save Ellen ‘n’ Portia. Fey-stud also had such nice teeth (I know, I have a thing with sparkling molars and incisors, so please forgive me). But he also had a penchant for little boys—nothing underage, mind you—something his gal was actually okay with! Still. It wasn’t enough. A once-in-a-while little fagola fling (even with his baby’s blessings) just wasn’t enough for F.R., so he just had to go and bust things up with his gorgeous honey, so stupid-ola. I say dumbo time ‘cause Fey actually is one of those rare creatures who is bisexual. So many folks say they are just to get more headlines (or cash). Why does Anne Heche come to mind right about now? Never mind, back to Fey. So, Mr. R. had a regular dude on the side. F.R.’s gal knew all along—and she still tried to keep the relationship going okay between her and her man (what some women will put up with!). Didn’t work. Fey needed his tumescent nooky time too much. But get this: As soon as Fey busted up with his gal, he also busted up with his guy. Didn’t want people thinking he was gay, or anything. Oy vey. I think my straight girlfriends are correct: Men—and not just the hetero ones—are dumber than Tom Cruise in love. AND IT AIN’T: Adam Brody, George Bush, James Blunt

AGC MAIN PAGE BLIND ITEMS

[silver024]

im so lost after reading that

[ehanc]

Ryan Phillippe

[greysfang]

Ryan Gosling

[texlux]

Well, he says 'playing house', so I'm assuming it means that he was not married to his gorgeous honey. Maybe it is Ryan Gosling? But does he have gorgeous friends and hangers on? That seems like someone living the high life in LA, not shacking up in Canada.

[Dean James]

Fey Ray- Tina Fey- Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock?

[Lily317]

All of the "And it Ain'ts" have last names that begin with "B".

[texlux]

Originally Posted by Lily317

All of the "And it Ain'ts" have last names that begin with "B".

I noticed that, too. I think it has to be a clue!

[LynnieD]

I'm truly sick of the homo blind vices from Ted. Every week....it's old.

However, having said that, I have no idea who this could be. I hate to admit it, but the first person that came to mind was Alec Baldwin too--only because of the Fey reference. Knowing that Tina Fey created and stars with him....but he's seeing a bunch of women right now so I don't think it's him.

Trying to think of someone else that has a 'b' last name...

[Mira]

Alec musta turned Ted down for the umpteenth time

I think it is a B last name hasn't Alec been shacking up with somebody or seeing someone seriously?

[Somica]

I hope it's not Alec -

It must be someone with B last name, but for life of me I can't think of anyone else -

I will say that Alec does not strike me as the homosexual type. He seems more the "banging bimbos" type.

[Dejasade]

Teds blind item's are always so confusing..and these are always about gay men...not every guy in hollywierd is gay..you just have nothing else left to make up about...

[SweetPea]

Too bad it says Hollywood hubby. I first thought of Orlando Bloom. Then Cash Warren & Jessica Alba because of Honey and Cash in the text.

No clue.

[southernbelle]

Translation:

FR had a beautiful wife and a high-class lifestyle.

He also has good teeth.

He likes young looking (but not actually underage) guys, and his wife was okay with this. Flings weren't enough for him and he took on a full time boyfriend on the side. The wife knew and still tried to make their marriage work, but he was spending too much time with his boyfriend and it ruined their marriage.

As soon as he and his wife broke up, he also broke up with his boyfriend because he didn't want people to find out about their relationship.


clues:
good teeth
"Fey" (SNL reference?)
"B" last name?
Anne Heche?
Tom Cruise?

Honestly, I think it's Mike Myers and Ted is just trying to pass this off as a new development. The teeth clue could be a reference to his Austin Powers role, he was on Saturday Night Live, and Tom Cruise played 'Austin Pussy' in the Goldmember Spoof. I don't know how the other clues would fit though.

[Mira]

*Applause* I am very impressed SouthernBelle. You're right up there with greysfang now.