Ted Casablanca 3/23/07

[greysfang]

Deartha Death has always been one of my fave H-town fixtures. She's so nasty. She's so raunchy. She's so...watchable!

And she knows it, too.

That's why D2 has staged yet another "comeback," of sorts. Thing is, I've never really understood quite what it is D.D. went away from. Her talent has always been so, uh, hard to define. I mean, really, her best achievement, as far as I'm concerned, has been Deartha-dear's ability to keep us wondering just what the eff she's gonna pull next.

Which is what this item is about. As she's done so many times before, D.D.'s gone to great lengths to set up a series of publicity interviews and photo sessions round her latest dubious creative endeavor. And, per usual, sundry journalistic entities bit.

Including Totally Inside publication, which had set up an expensive shoot around said project. But, quelle surprise, Ms. D. called up and canceled, saying she had a tummy ache or some lame excuse, all last minute, 'course. Death was simply expecting the mag to call back and reskedge, as Deartha's forced upon many an outlet before (and will no doubt do again).

However, Totally's editor had heard through the proverbial e-grapevine that Deartha was, once again, too high to function—the real reason why she had called off the shoot. So, the media honcho called up Death directly.

"Look," the editor fumed across the receiver, "I'm not a 12-stepper. I have no problem with you getting high. But you better get something straight," the exec type practically blazed before she went in for the chicly suited kill:

"You cancel on me again like that, we're pulling this shoot so fast, you won't know what hit you—faster than those stupid animals of yours pee everywhere."

Oh, did I forget to tell you D.D. is a big four-footed fan?
And Deartha is now cooperating with all press requests. Fully (if not a tad wobbly).



And It Ain't

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Four-footed fan is definitely Pam Anderson.

[happy8]

Yeah Pam is a good guess.

[SunShine23]

I say Jennifer Lopez...she's having her album out and some new movies. comeback for pam? she's a perennial has-been.

[happy8]

Ok.. I have another guess. Carmen Electra? She's raunchy & nasty

[marvel]

aw man! I really really thought it could be none other than Tara Reid. Could it be Banned, she has a lot of animals.

[IheartParis]

"watchable" = reference to Baywatch???

[Mira]

Another Pam clue: D.D. for double D's (though hers have been as big as E's before).

[LynnieD]

Man, this is a tough one, but one that I actually UNDERSTOOD.....wow.

Wasn't thinking Pam Anderson until the four footed comment, but she jumped immediately to my head. But for some reason, I don't think it's her. I don't know who else though.....

[Geisha]

Ted confirmed neither carmen or Pam are DD,,,,,hmmmmmm.......

[WitchHazelEyed]

I was thinking Courteny Love.

[pacific breeze]

It's definitely Tara Reid. Ted has always said how much he likes her depsite all her flaws. She's one of his faves. I smelled Tara from the minute I read the first sentence.

[WitchHazelEyed]

But he says it isn't Tara Reid

[pacific breeze]

I know...although he could be bluffing. But if it isn't, then it must be Courtney. She's been in the public eye lately for getting thin. And she fits all the other categories.