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Thread: New Ted Casablanca Blind Vice, 1/25

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    Elite Member Dean James's Avatar
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    Default New Ted Casablanca Blind Vice, 1/25

    One Hand-Biting Blind Vice

    Aren't the Oscar noms fun? Not to mention friggin' and secretly sex-ay, huh? Closeted fruits. Discreet lesbians. Outta the total number of about 177 artists nominated three days ago, gay power unites within those selected for potential Academy Awards, isn't it too exciting?

    Only problem is—for now—these par-tick gay men and women are mostly, like, totally lying and dating members of the opposite sex to extend their careers, selfish mother-effers! So, don't expect any thanks to homo partners up at the Kodak podium, should these gays win. Whatev.

    Therefore, it lies with Potty-Puss Priscilla to enliven today's blinded bad-ass report. It involves duplicity and damning words, two of my favorite things to report on in Hollywood, besides errant erections and heaving bosoms behind bathroom stalls. See, Ms. P.P.P. is—on the very public one hand—telling folks how mucho honored she is to be acknowledged by the Academy.

    Then, on the other—not so private—digit set, P3 is busy blasting the “unseemly” rat race of it all. She considers the whole Oscar showdown a “sham,” as if we're all “greyhounds chasing a rabbit,” she's said to amigas, privately.

    Now, isn't it sweet, too divine, really, that Ms. P.'s all but certainly going to be up on that stage, come Oscar night, giving the best artistic showing of her career—as in pretending she's actually humbled by all this Academy Award nonsense.

    Oh, I should tell you something: In case you sense any bitterness on Priss-babe's part, that's because she is. Snarky and snide, that is. Thinks she should have gotten these brass-sucker jobs more often.

    Oh, dear.

    Shouldn't somebody tell Priscilla darling that expectations will not only put lines on her deceivingly sweet face but that I hear this kinda soul-stealing, stinky emotion makes your cleavage droopy 'n' wrinkly, too. Or so I'm told.

    And It Ain't:



    http://www.eonline.com/gossip/awful/...4-f8a6ecc378a0
    Baby, by the time you have kids and they're in school, no one will care about you.

  2. #2
    Elite Member Dean James's Avatar
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    Abigail Breslin? wtf, Ted.
    Baby, by the time you have kids and they're in school, no one will care about you.

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Here's who it could be, the nominated:

    Helen Mirren
    Kate Winslet
    Judi Dench
    Penelope Cruz
    Meryl Streep
    Adriana Barraza
    Cate Blanchett
    Jennifer Hudson
    Rinko Kikuchi

    And its somebody that he's convinced will win, to be able to give her "performance." Maybe Meryl or Helen.

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Its Penelope.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Yeah, the whole "amigas" thing was probably a clue, I can see that.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
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    That was my first thought, too.

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    Gold Member Merlot-N-Bali's Avatar
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    Yep, Penelope. "Mucho honored...amigas..." gotta be her.

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    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    Yeah, but is Penelope expected to win??

    This makes it sound like Ms. P.P.P. is a shoe-in:

    Now, isn't it sweet, too divine, really, that Ms. P.'s all but certainly going to be up on that stage, come Oscar night, giving the best artistic showing of her career—as in pretending she's actually humbled by all this Academy Award nonsense
    .

    I don't want it to be Helen Mirren or Meryl Streep.
    “What are you looking at, sugar-tits?” - Mel Gibson

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    Penelope, the mucho honored is another clue....
    How You Durrin ?

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    Silver Member shaki80's Avatar
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    I think it's Helen Mirren
    I think she once called the oscars the creme de la crem of bullshit and he says that she's bitter because she thinks she should've won them more often. Penelope really hasn't had much deserving roles before and is still at the peak of her career so I don't see her being bitter about not winning an oscar before

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    Yeah, but is Penelope expected to win??
    This makes it sound like Ms. P.P.P. is a shoe-in.
    I know, thats why I didn't choose Penelope at first, I don't think she has a chance of winning. Maybe Ted does.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    Now, isn't it sweet, too divine, really, that Ms. P.'s all but certainly going to be up on that stage, come Oscar night, giving the best artistic showing of her career—as in pretending she's actually humbled by all this Academy Award nonsense
    that doesn't mean she thinks she's going to win. it could refer to being humbled by the nomination

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    First thought was Meryl Streep. She gave some press release when nominated about how honored she was, and blah blah blah. But i'm sure most of the nominees did the same.


    But, she (and Helen) are the front winners I would assume......yet, I like the Penelope answer too.

    I'm sticking w/Meryl for some reason....

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    Elite Member SweetPea's Avatar
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    Do the nominees ever present? He could mean she'll be on stage for that.
    Into the sunrise. The sunset is sad to me….it only means the night is coming.

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    Quote Originally Posted by january View Post
    I know, thats why I didn't choose Penelope at first, I don't think she has a chance of winning. Maybe Ted does.
    We all know that these things are engineered from behind the scenes. Doesn't happen every time, but has happened a lot in Hollywood history.

    If the "powers that be" want Penelope... it'll be Penelope. Simple as that.

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