Is it the upcoming holiday season, or is our lovely assortment of trim-waisted (and closeted) H-town fruitcakes getting increasingly mistletoe-ready in public 'cause they're getting closer and closer to officially coming out? (As if anybody left in the free world doesn't friggin' know who these cavorting fagolas are.)
First off, our fave, and top tumescent dawg,
Toothy Tile: T2 was just caught at a fancy-ass New Yawk restaurant playing footsie with the b-f underneath the table. Right in front of Tooth's 'rents! And the busboys! Not to mention a few (thank gawd) Awful Truth readers, too fun. Tooth-doll, makes sense, as I hear you're getting
thisclose to superdomesticating things with your most benevolently forgiving man. What, getting tired of the doin'-it-in-the-parking-lot scene, T-man? Regardless, congrats!
Even more daring would be
Renaldo Rim-Me, who's now holding hands with his main hombre in myriad Starbucks and quasi-posh dance clubs across the nation. What-ev.
But really, the more intriguing of our on-the-edge homo report this week involves
Matinee Mooner, who's about as discreet with his homosexuality as
Star Jones Reynolds is with her temper. Yet in between screwing his latest male conquest in myriad semipublic locales (takes after Toothy, this one), Mr. Mooner took time out to plug his almost heady career, stopping over for a little couch chat with
Oprah, and seduced her so in the process.
Not on camera (or behind), mind you, M2 just sorta got his pearlie jobs all sparkling fer the talented broad, and it was no secret Ms. O. was rather smitten.
Must explain why, then, some important members of O.'s team subsequently made it quite plain to a visiting friend of theirs, a little later on, that Matinee was, like, "so gay." This announcement by the big O.'s pro campers came right after their innocent little amiga proclaimed her smitten-ness for M.M.
Jeez, Moon-babe. When the nation's most powerful boob-tube movers 'n' shakers are busy spreading your boy-on-boy biz, I'd say that 9-to-5 gig of yours might be coming to a halt. Or at least a bit o' a slow down.
Just a hunch, nothing more.
Have fun, all you handsome horn dogs!
And It Ain't
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I think the Matinee Mooner is Anderson Cooper
Three Envelope-Dangling Blind Vices - Ted E! - 11/3/06
Jonathan Livingstone Seagull Life Coach for the Birds.
omg omg omg Jake is Toothy!
Ted is just basically outting Jakey and Im depressed b/c I seriously have been planning our future together for a while now 
but he's taken I see...
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