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Thread: Three Envelope-Dangling Blind Vices - Ted E! - 11/3/06

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    Default Three Envelope-Dangling Blind Vices - Ted E! - 11/3/06

    Is it the upcoming holiday season, or is our lovely assortment of trim-waisted (and closeted) H-town fruitcakes getting increasingly mistletoe-ready in public 'cause they're getting closer and closer to officially coming out? (As if anybody left in the free world doesn't friggin' know who these cavorting fagolas are.)

    First off, our fave, and top tumescent dawg, Toothy Tile: T2 was just caught at a fancy-ass New Yawk restaurant playing footsie with the b-f underneath the table. Right in front of Tooth's 'rents! And the busboys! Not to mention a few (thank gawd) Awful Truth readers, too fun. Tooth-doll, makes sense, as I hear you're getting thisclose to superdomesticating things with your most benevolently forgiving man. What, getting tired of the doin'-it-in-the-parking-lot scene, T-man? Regardless, congrats!

    Even more daring would be Renaldo Rim-Me, who's now holding hands with his main hombre in myriad Starbucks and quasi-posh dance clubs across the nation. What-ev.

    But really, the more intriguing of our on-the-edge homo report this week involves Matinee Mooner, who's about as discreet with his homosexuality as Star Jones Reynolds is with her temper. Yet in between screwing his latest male conquest in myriad semipublic locales (takes after Toothy, this one), Mr. Mooner took time out to plug his almost heady career, stopping over for a little couch chat with Oprah, and seduced her so in the process.

    Not on camera (or behind), mind you, M2 just sorta got his pearlie jobs all sparkling fer the talented broad, and it was no secret Ms. O. was rather smitten.

    Must explain why, then, some important members of O.'s team subsequently made it quite plain to a visiting friend of theirs, a little later on, that Matinee was, like, "so gay." This announcement by the big O.'s pro campers came right after their innocent little amiga proclaimed her smitten-ness for M.M.

    Jeez, Moon-babe. When the nation's most powerful boob-tube movers 'n' shakers are busy spreading your boy-on-boy biz, I'd say that 9-to-5 gig of yours might be coming to a halt. Or at least a bit o' a slow down.

    Just a hunch, nothing more.

    Have fun, all you handsome horn dogs!


    And It Ain't


    ____________________________________________

    I think the Matinee Mooner is Anderson Cooper

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    Oh I would so love it to be Tom Cruise for the Matinee Mooner. But, he seems like to much of a control freak. Has Matthew McConaghey (sp) been on Oprah lately?
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    Yea, who's been on Oprah recently?? Orlando Bloom?? Um.....think Lynnie..

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    Oprah has had Denzel Washington and Matthew McConaughey on in September and October.

    Usually I get headaches reading Ted's blind items- but the heady and plug screamed Matthew M. Still holding out a glimmer of hope for GMD being the Double M.
    Drive a car, drive a boat, drive a plane. What does it matter? As long as I'm drunk!
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    I see Ted's hitting the sauce again and being ever more confusterating..

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    It sounds like Mooner is a TV star. Maybe a soap star...Dr. Phil, LOL.

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    First off, our fave, and top tumescent dawg, Toothy Tile: T2 was just caught at a fancy-ass New Yawk restaurant playing footsie with the b-f underneath the table. Right in front of Tooth's 'rents! And the busboys! Not to mention a few (thank gawd) Awful Truth readers, too fun. Tooth-doll, makes sense, as I hear you're getting thisclose to superdomesticating things with your most benevolently forgiving man. What, getting tired of the doin'-it-in-the-parking-lot scene, T-man? Regardless, congrats!
    um omg and Jake was just in NYC w/ his parents! for the birth of his neice omg omg omg Jake is Toothy!

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    ^^ Why are you shocked, we've all been saying that for ages.

    Renadol Rim me....love it!! Ricky Martin???

    I was thinking Travolta since and and Oprah are friends, has he been on lately? I still don't get the vibe from MM or Lance but I suppose it's possible.

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    not shocked just like amazed at how obvious it is now...as ever before Ted is just basically outting Jakey and Im depressed b/c I seriously have been planning our future together for a while now but he's taken I see...

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    Gotta be Matthew....gotta be.

    And yea, Toothy is totally Jake, especially w/the NYC reference.

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    Wait.. it says "Not on Camera" towards the end of the MM text, so I read that to mean he stopped by to chat w/her but was not on the show. Then again.. Ted is writing more garbled than ever before so I could be way off???

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    Denzel popped into my head because of the reference to Pearlies - I noticed that day how his teeth looked so white and perhaps redone.
    Also, he is just too pretty doncha think?

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    ^^Magic Johnson was just on and his 'pearlies' were so freakin' white even Oprah commented on them. He was with his wife and I don't think its him, there are too many women to affirm he's not.. LOL

    Ted does not tell us if MM or Renaldo are married or what.

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    Aha, Toothy is Jake!

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    since toothy is jake i have to laugh my ass off at kirsten. hey, maybe she's actually gay too and they're BOTH beards? and renaldo HAS to be kiki martin. and i'm going mateo for the heady and plugs refs.
    cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT.

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