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Thread: One Headline-Hungry Blind Vice (and One Not) Ted C.- 10/2

  1. #1
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    Default One Headline-Hungry Blind Vice (and One Not) Ted C.- 10/2

    There's no denying that Dorrell Sausage is hot 'n' hunky. His semi-famous name and chiseled mug have been increasingly featured in the rags lately, thanks to a string of high-profile romances. And this ain't by accident,
    damn straight.
    D.S. went from dating a cute, fairly well known chica to supposedly seeing Pixie Mixie, tabloid darling. See, the D-man wants to be (more) famous himself, imagine that in this me-me-me enclave! And after a halfhearted stab at the spotlight on his own not so long ago (prior to Pixie time), it seems Mr. Sausage--a somewhat cognizant realist with thin lips, thicker things elsewhere--realized it's way easier to get press when you're attached to an It creature.
    Indeed, Dorrell's latest cutie-coupling has gotten tab headlines, fer sure. "It's getting serious!" all the rags proclaim, alongside pics of the two honeys holding hands and swappin' spit.
    Howevah, just reminds me of one of those Teri Hatcher spreads--all pose, no meat to go with the paparazzi potatoes.
    See, Dorrell has been sober for a while, even though he "used to drink entire bottles of tequila," said one of D.S.'s ol' imbibing buds. Nevertheless, Mr. Sausage has since cleaned up his act and is now busy denouncing drugs and hard partying. More unhungover intrigue: Pixie is D.S.'s sober sponsor, which explains why they're spending so much time together.
    "They're really just friends," according to my chemical-free source.

    But this tricky twosome so knows that playing coy with the press and letting themselves be linked equals double the headlines and even more media attention.
    Seems good old-fashioned fame is the real drug of choice for both of them these days!

    Oh, and if you need the usual fornicating-where-one-shouldn't-be stuff (as if last Friday's mailbag from adventurous and horny readers wasn't enough), then let me leave ya with this gross thought:

    Bitchy Snitchy, no stranger to these smut-tarred pages, is not only unapologetically stepping out on his spouse (not his first, either), he's stepping out on his stepping-outtee! The Viagra-powered nerve.
    Not half as nervy as the fact that all of the female steps, as they might be, work for B.S. Turd.

    And It's Not: Tom Hanks, Aaron Carter, Will Smith, Nick Carter, Mel Gibson, Wentworth Miller

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I think Dorrel is Brody Jenner and Pixie is Nicole Richie

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    Elite Member Sassiness's Avatar
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    Have no idea.... Nicole doesn't look clean, if that not-so-blind vice from Perez is to be believed (that insinuated that she and other Rachel Zoe clients take crystal meth)

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    My first thought was Brody Jenner too, but then wondered if it was DJ AM...
    Because I think Pixie is Nicole. Or Harry Morton?

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    Pixie is Nicole, so I think it is Brody Jenner
    *****SUPERTRAMP=SUPERFREAK*****

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    Absolutely Harry Morton. Or maybe not.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Quote Originally Posted by buttmunch View Post
    Absolutely Harry Morton. Or maybe not.
    Well.. I thought the same thing too until I read this line:
    "Pixie is D.S.'s sober sponsor". We all know LL in no way qualifies as a sober sponser (not that Nicole does either)????

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    But I think that Nicole has gone through rehab, which may constitute the 'sponsor' thing.....as opposed to Lindsey, who obviously is outta control. Again, not that Nicole ISN'T out of control...
    Oh who the hell knows!

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    Gold Member eeyore0101's Avatar
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    I was thinking Brody Jenner the whole time I was reading this....
    Is it Happy Hour yet?

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    Elite Member mistify's Avatar
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    I was thinking this one just gave me a headache...
    "Shit, I think I just confused myself. QUICK! Somebody hand me chalk, a chalkboard and Will Hunting's brain!" michael k -dlisted

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    I thought the rumor about Nicole Richie is that she had her stomach stapled, something went a bit awry and she actually can't take in alot of food? Maybe I dreamt that...
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
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    ^I heard that too, but I dont really believe it. I still say eating disorder/drugs- although drug addicts have no appetite so maybe shes not intentionally starving herself, she's just not hungry. I knew a junkie and all he did was shoot up, and drink heaps of tea and coffee. He couldn't eat much at all, so that might be Nicole's case too.

    Quote Originally Posted by mistify View Post
    I was thinking this one just gave me a headache...
    Yep, pass the aspirin!

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    Bronze Member Sweetest Thing's Avatar
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    The first one I think is Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson. I think Robin Williams is the second one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by buttmunch View Post
    I thought the rumor about Nicole Richie is that she had her stomach stapled, something went a bit awry and she actually can't take in alot of food? Maybe I dreamt that...
    I heard that too. It was in a blind item, but its so her. Obvs some strings had to pulled to make that happen. here's when daddys money comes in handy.

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    This B.I. is definitely about Brody Jenner and Nicole Richie, IMO.

    There's no denying that Dorrell Sausage is hot 'n' hunky.
    Brody Jenner is definitely "hot 'n' hunky"!
    His semi-famous name
    Brody's name is famous because of his dad, Olympian Bruce Jenner, but Brody isn't exactly a huge star on his own or anything; so this equals "semi-famous".
    D.S. went from dating a cute, fairly well known chica
    Kristin Cavaleri
    to supposedly seeing Pixie Mixie, tabloid darling.
    Nicole Richie is "Pixie Mixie" in this, as well as many other, Blind Items.
    after a halfhearted stab at the spotlight on his own not so long ago
    This refers to Brody's stint as the star of the extremely short-lived & unsuccessful (thus the "halfhearted stab at the spotlight" comment) reality show The Princes of Malibu.
    Mr. Sausage--...with thin lips
    Brody does have thin lips.
    realized it's way easier to get press when you're attached to an It creature.
    Referring to Nicole Richie as an "It creature" because she is so gaunt & skinny, she's scary-looking.
    Indeed, Dorrell's latest cutie-coupling has gotten tab headlines, fer sure. "It's getting serious!" all the rags proclaim, alongside pics of the two honeys holding hands and swappin' spit. Howevah, just reminds me of one of those Teri Hatcher spreads--all pose, no meat to go with the paparazzi potatoes. "They're really just friends"....But this tricky twosome so knows that playing coy with the press and letting themselves be linked equals double the headlines and even more media attention. Seems good old-fashioned fame is the real drug of choice for both of them these days!
    The celebrity magazines have indeed been proclaiming that Brody & Nicole are a romantic couple. However, some articles i've read have openly questioned what Brody sees in Nicole (which i thought was rather rude & insulting to Nicole!) since she's so unattractively skinny & the theme of the articles seemed to be befuddlement at this *mis-matched pair*. So it seems that these magazines were onto something in questioning the validity of Brody & Nicole's *romance*. I know in the pictures i've seen of the two of them, there never seemed to be any real affection going on, and there didn't seem to me personally from what i've seen, to be romantic chemistry between them, IMO. (Just like the B.I. says: "all pose, no meat to go with the paparazzi potatoes.") And of course it makes sense that the two of them are not really a couple but are letting people believe it, for the sake of publicity.--As we all know, people in Hollywood have been doing this for decades.
    Pixie is D.S.'s sober sponsor, which explains why they're spending so much time together.
    I know Nicole is widely assumed to be a drug abuser, but like Lynnie pointed out, Nicole HAS been through rehab, so this could give her some knowledge & qualification to act as a "sponsor" to a friend trying to stay sober.

    Definitely Brody Jenner & Nicole Richie!!, IMO
    My precious baby girl:
    ~ Demri Elizabeth-June ~
    Arrived July 19th. 6 lbs.,5 oz.; 19.5". BEAUTIFUL !

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Update from Ted 10/10:

    Dear Ted:
    Monday's bated but entertaining One Headline-Hungry Blind Vice simply must be Harry Morton and Lindsay Lo.
    Belinda T.
    Portland, Oregon

    Dear Tickled Wrong:
    Sorry, babe, but no dice. I dare say good ol' Dorrell Sausage is a bit more doable than Harry.

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