One Porn-Addicted Blind Vice from Ted 09/15

[LynnieD]

There's an A-list star. Said luminary is addicted to smut. Oh, aren't we all? Well, yes and no.

I mean, I like the nekkid boys 'n' girls on the Internet as much as the next voyeur (man, did I have to turn the volume down on that last Colin Farrell skin flick I clicked into, boy sure knows how to make 'em scream!), but let's face it: The real McCoy copulation beats the kind you watch any day of the horny week. Right?

Wrong, says Mona Streamline, who, like, lives to watch X-rated raunch on her fancy-schmancy computers, wherever she happens to be traveling. And since M.S. is majorly in demand, movies-wise, as of late, that be a whole lotta looky-loo lovin' the girl's been up to recently!

Now, like a lotta addicts--me, I'm recovering from the booze, dope and ciggies, one day at a time--things weren't always like this for Ms. S., who's married to a fine guy. In fact, the couple both looked at sex stuff on the VCR long before the Internet made such naughty activities so commonplace.

But then M.S. found herself in myriad trailers and hotel rooms round the world, so she began packing those little VHS cassettes for her own use. Makes sense, I 'spose. Just not to the extent where Ms. S. eventually found that she preferred the prerecorded thang (certainly once the online opportunity blew up right smack into her slightly surgeried face), as opposed to the genuine salami Mona swapped vows with all those years ago.

Now, the old hitched couple is in counseling to see if there's anything that can possibly be done to return Streamline to her original, real-life lovemaking ways.

So sad. Hey, isn't this usually a dude prob, though? Rad, man!
http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/...nd.060915.html

And it aint: Rene Russo, Jada Pinkett Smith or Goldie Hawn

[shaki80]

So an old(er) couple, married for some time now, lots of movies coming up for the wife and some how linked to Colin Farell?
Err..these are weird guesses but I can only think of Annette Bening(was in the Miami Vice TV series for an episode or 2) and Robin Wright Penn(was in a movie with CF).

[LynnieD]

A good guess on another board is Meryl Streep. Same initals, been married quite awhile, is A list, etc.

Someone else suggested Julia Roberts......

I'm going to run w/Meryl. I can see that.

[ang]

good guess, lynnie. it even mentions vcr & vhs, so this is a couple that's been together for quite awhile. i'm with you on meryl!!!

[mistify]

is Meryls husband known??? salami?? Is he saying he is Italian?? I can't even think of who is in demand right now and who has been married a long time.... Catherine Zeta Jones?? Who is Dermot Mulroney married to, that woman from 40 yr old virgin they have been married a long time. These drive me absolutely bonkers yet I always click on them because I have to read them.

[LynnieD]

Freaking Ted's blind items make me insane, yet I love em. Hate HIM, but love the blind items. Even though they make my head hurt. A lot.

[zorbeet]

Why all of the surfer terms? I absolutely suck at these.

[LynnieD]

^^Perhaps it's a clue zorbeet! But who the hell could it be? DAMMIT



Annette Funicello!!

[zorbeet]

Maybe it's Sean Penn and his wife Robin? Spicolli from Fast Times.

[Laurent]

I'm going with Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe. They've been married a little over 7 years, which in Hollyweird is forever. She's really in demand moviewise this year and she snagged the Oscar. She might have had a little surgery to her face, but not much. And there have been rumors for years there's some weirdness in the Reese/ Ryan marriage.

[ourmaninBusan]

And since M.S. is majorly in demand, movies-wise, as of late, that be a whole lotta looky-loo lovin' the girl's been up to recently!

Between Devil Wears Prada and A Prairie Home Companion
I'd say Meryl is now back in demand after a long lull....

[LynnieD]

Update from Ted 09/26, and its apparent that the person making this guess did NOT read the story.

Dear Ted:
My guess for Mona Streamline from One Porn-Addicted Blind Vice is Kate Hudson. Please let me know my guess is correct, and I promise no one will be sued.
Gena F.
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Dear Nice Try:
Why do you remind me of those go guys who ask to do ya without a condom, "just for a little bit, promise." I ain't falling for that one, Ms. F.! Oh, and you're wrong, by the by, think much older, less celebrated

[fiveofus]

Less celebrated than Kate Hudson would rule out Meryl Streep, IMO.

[Tati]

^ I agree. It would have to rule out a lot of people, I would think. That's not a knock at Kate, but I wouldn't have thought of her as all that "celebrated".

Hmm, he also describes the subject as "A List" and a "luminary" though. Curiouser and curiouser.

[LynnieD]

I was under the impression this was an older woman?? Not OLD, but at least 40's.....Kate never crossed my mind.

Meryl Streep was my thought, but unsure.