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Thread: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

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    Default Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    I swear, I'd love to tell you all the one about the reality-TV dude who's diddling other guys in the pools of Hollywood boy-boy shindigs, but that one's just as tired (ultimately) as the one I'm about to spill. I mean, come on.
    Okay, okay, so I will do--so to speak--the guy dish first: See, there's this boob-tube celeb who's, like, rather good-looking. Meatless Member has a nice face. Decent arms 'n' legs, sweet smile--but not exactly a whole lotta sausage cookin' in the kitchen down below. I mean, it was very nervy of M.M. to start having sex with other guys in the pool, what with every bitchy fag around, just waiting to spill the beans with no frank, as it were.
    But M. was horny, so he did anyway--so there.
    I'm hardly surprised Mr. Member was there at the posh address, frolicking at a homo-happening soiree in the first place, but most of (na´ve) America will be startled, fer sure. It's all very snore-pie predictable.

    As is Shellack Attack's latest man-romping move. I mean, many folks know Shellack's got a thing for the showier, naughtier boys--despite S.A.'s heart o' gold appeal. And this latest romance Ms. A.'s so very visibly involved in is hardly the surprise in that regard.
    But it should be.
    That's because sexy Shellack has finally found herself a man who has a bigger appetite for sno-cones, powder-style, than she does. And that's sayin' somethin'!
    Oy. Can't you infamous types out there please come up with some new Vices, besides drugs and dalliances? Can't somebody steal a script that results in an Academy Award from their best friend anymore? I mean, that's, like, what, a hundred years ago already, isn't it?

    It's not: Jessica Simpson/Simon Cowell, Ashlee Simpson/Randy Jackson, Bart Simpson/Paula Abdul.


    This one is too easy...Meatless Member is Ryan Seacrest

    Shellack Attack is Heather Locklear... he all but alludes to it with this comment last week: "swear, the only thing that was bigger in this week's mailbox (besides a little somethin' I'm putting at the end of the column) than Suri Cruise's guesstimated whereabouts were what the heck I was alluding to between David Spade and Heather Locklear. In other words, what concoction do they both share a sizable--and increasingly infamous--love of?

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    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    He makes my brain hurt.

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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Can't Ted get into trouble that he's talking about Ryan Seacrest? I remember another Blind Vice that was so obvious about Ryan.

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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Quote Originally Posted by stylejunkiex
    He makes my brain hurt.
    I feel the same. I can't stand his blind items.
    I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep.
    That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?---Jean Kerr

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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    His blind items are becoming more obvious. What did Secrest do to Ted?
    Drive a car, drive a boat, drive a plane. What does it matter? As long as I'm drunk!
    pəʇɐɔɐɯnpə ɹ ı

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Hmmm...guess its Ryan. Fairly obvious when you factor in the 'and it's not' choices....

    The other one, no clue. I wouldn't consider David Spade to be a 'bad boy' necessarily.

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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Quote Originally Posted by stylejunkiex
    He makes my brain hurt.
    DITTO!
    He sucks.

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    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    You just have to speak "TedC" is all. After countless headaches and trying to understand each damn sentence, he finally starts to make sense. It's sort of like learning Spanish. At first you have no clue what's going on, then you can figure out a word or two here and there. Before you know it, you're fluent! In TedC.

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    Elite Member chartreuse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Heather seems to fit well as Shellack Attack, especially with the "Can't somebody steal a script that results in an Academy Award from their best friend anymore?" line. Plus, shellack fits well since she's always so shiny!
    white, black, puerto rican/everybody just a freakin'/good times were rollin'.


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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Quote Originally Posted by LynnieD
    Hmmm...guess its Ryan. Fairly obvious when you factor in the 'and it's not' choices....

    The other one, no clue. I wouldn't consider David Spade to be a 'bad boy' necessarily.
    I agree, i dont think he's a 'bad-boy'. But i dont really know much about him, i just thought he was a funny man you wouldn't really take seriously.

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    ^^Unless you factor in that little stun gun incident David had w/his personal assistant a few years ago!

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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    I don't think David is a bad boy like Rocker Tommy Lee, etc.. but he's always been known as a ladies man (personally, I think he is ugly and a midget..LOL). However, Ted had been commenting about what Heather & David have in common in several columns leading up to this Blind Vice. I'm just happy I FINALLY figured one out

    Also, remember that Denise said the reason she and Heather are no longer friends is because Heather has a drug problem........

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    Gold Member equallydivided's Avatar
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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Heather does all of those hair color commercials as well....

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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Here's the latest from Ted:
    Dear Ted:
    Maybe Shellack Attack is Denise Richards? Please tell me I'm right!?


    Dear Hopeful:
    Fort Collins what, hon? Sounds like something near a shopping mall or a Starbucks Kevin Federline would litter with cigarette butts. Regardless, you're getting very warm...ain't Denise, but you're sniffin' around the right nabe.

    HAS TO BE HEATHER LOCKLEAR

    Dear Ted:
    I'll take a crack at Meatless Member from Two Old-School Blind Vices--I think it's Ty Pennington. He has a sweet smile and a great body and all that personality he's giving off...maybe he's making up for what's lacking elsewhere?

    Dear Sausage Snoop:
    Very warm but no cigar--or carrot, as it were. Think less visible, less vampy, less handsome...damn, less everything.

    So it's not Ryan Secrest since Ryan is very visible. Since that guess is very warm I'll take a shot and think another reality carpenter. How about Andrew Dan-Jumbo, he's on TLC's home makeover show and not as visible as Ty.

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    Default Re: Two Old-School Blind Vices from Ted - E! 7/26/06

    Meatless isn't Andrew. He's had a steady girlfriend for a long time now. Saw it on Oprah

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