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Thread: CDAN October 28th 2013 - The Perv

  1. #1
    Elite Member palta's Avatar
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    Mar 2013

    Default CDAN October 28th 2013 - The Perv

    Blind Item #1
    This C list actor and B list television host and former B list rapper with A list name recognition told his baby mama that he is broke and can't afford child support. I wonder if that excuse would fly in front of a judge after this weekend where he spent almost $125K partying with a bunch of women.
    Popular Guess: BowWow

    Blind Item #2
    This former NFL star and Pro Bowler already has an extremely shady reputation when it comes to fidelity because of what he did to his first wife. His second wife might be curious to wonder why a really young blonde was sitting in the former player's lap for a good thirty minutes after she took a photo with him and why he entered her phone number into his phone and all the kisses the woman was giving too.
    Popular Guess: Tiki Barber

    Blind Item #3
    This former B+ list mostly television actress from a couple of hit shows who is trying her hand at a new line of work that seems totally unlike her was out of her mind on coke the other night. I don't know if the coke was laced with something but she was a mean and nasty version of herself and had a crazy look in her eyes. I'm guessing incidents like this are why she won't be invited back for her new gig a second time.
    Popular Guess: Alyssa Milano

    Blind Item #4
    This A- list singer/celebrity has been crazy with women and booze on his tour. He does make sure that he calls his wife certain times of the day though so she thinks every thing is ok and he isn't being a crazy lecherous guy which of course he is and always has been. Not Robin Thicke.
    Popular Guess: Michael Bublé

    Blind Item #5
    This former A+ list tween celebrity was one of the very few tweeners back in the day. Now he is just a celebrity/singer living off that past fame. Apparently he is also willing to do anything to secure what he thinks would be the perfect job. It is the host of a network reality show and our former tweener trashes the current host every chance he gets and buys the producers of the show weekly gifts to try and land the not vacant job.
    Popular Guess: David Cassidy

    Blind Item #6
    This B list celebrity with A list name and breast recognition who has had some issues lately scheduled a C section for her last child so she knew exactly when she would have to stop using coke to not test positive in the hospital. That was the only time she didn't use coke the entire pregnancy. The friend who told me this also visited the celebrity in the hospital. The celebrity was not seen using coke but did ask the friend if she had some with her.
    Popular Guesses: Jessica Simpson, Tori Spelling

    Blind Item #7
    This C list celebrity with the funny name who has an A list mouth and has been outspoken on the horrors of taking pills for depression takes three daily for her own depression while still telling every one in the press how depression is not a real disease. I hope she gets paid really well for her hypocrisy.
    Popular Guesses: Jenna Elfman, Kirstie Alley

    Blind Item #8
    This Academy Award winning actress and not much of a worker these days despite her relative youth needed a bunch of stitches this weekend to close a gash in her head. She got wasted and slammed her head into a glass table which broke. Not the first time she has injured herself drinking.
    Popular Guess: Renée Zellweger

    Blind Item #9
    This former almost A list mostly movie actor who has crashed to C-after a huge bomb and would be less if not for his recent trip to the news was eating this weekend in a private room with a guy. He called it a business meeting and it might have been but a waiter had to be called to extract our actor from the other man because the actor had the man's earring stuck between his teeth and the other man was pinned in such a way that the man couldn't unscrew the earring.
    Popular Guess: Not a good guess.

    Blind Item #10
    This B- list actor who divides his time between movies and television but is most well known for his long run on an even longer running comedy show says he got divorced because his actress wife wanted him to wait until they were married to have sex and then when they got married she said she needed a few more months so he cheated.
    Popular Guess: Fred Armisen and Elizabeth Moss

    Today's Blind Items - The Perv
    Despite being the star of one of the most famous shows of all time, this actor has never been more than B list. A mix of movies and television and other stuff, he now spends more of his time doing the other stuff. It is easier and pays a lot. If there is one thing our actor loves more than himself it is money. There is not much other than that he loves. His toupee collection maybe. He also loves being a complete jerk to women who are attracted to him because he is on television in front of their faces every day and he seems so harmless on television. Plus, he is aging so they are not expecting much in the sex department. Well, they are not going to get anything in the sex department from him. Oh yes, they will have to work on him but he is not going to do any thing that requires any kind of penetration.

    His favorite thing to do is watch. He forces his girlfriend to be with other women and then orders them to do things together. His girlfriend does not make any money but the other women do because they are usually hookers. His girlfriend is hoping she gets to be a wife or remembered in the will because she doesn't even get shopping or money but is expected to be with him 24/7 except when he sees another woman he wants to be with alone and then the girlfriend is sent off some place while the actor gets his customary mouth or hand action from some woman who is going to be thrilled that she hooked up with this actor.

    The guy makes women do all kinds of things before they even get to spend time alone with him and they can range from crawling around naked to barking or any thing else his perv mind can think of because he has been degrading women for almost 50 years.
    Popular Guesses: William Shatner, but he is married, Burt Reynolds

  2. #2
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    In the "D"


    Could #9 be Tom Cruise, please?
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
    Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

    - Mark Twain

  3. #3
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Top Secret Spy for Leann Rimes


    #5 Mario Lopez.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  4. #4
    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009


    #9 = Kevin Spacey?
    "I am a social vegan; I avoid meet!” Anonymous Introvert

  5. #5
    Elite Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    On Howard Stern's Sybian


    The Perv - William Shatner.
    "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel."

  6. #6
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Burning Down Your Windmill


    1; Xzibit
    2. Tiki Barber
    4. I hate to say it, but Blake Shelton
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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