One Girlie Galore Blind Vice -- Ted Casablanca 7/3

ang · July 3rd, 2006, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Okay, all you hell-raising heathens, tongue-dripping turnabout is more than fair play. Last week, we covered the taboo private-parts doings on the dude side, this time round, we're tackling what the gals are up to, naughty-time-wise. Or one very, very famous sweetie-poop, that is.

Slurpa Pop-Off</B> is quite beautiful--and big-time tush-shakin', too. She also has a penchant for bedding every stud in the Western Hemisphere on whom she lays her pretty little beady eyes--always successfully, I should inform you goss-babes.

But here's the kicker in the squishy parts: S.P.O. is, ironically enough, only so-so interested, as far as the guys go. It's just for press.
In other words, what makes Ms. Pop-Off see stars and have the kind of orgasms Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan and Helen Gurley Brown all made famous are other girls--specifically honeys who, as Madonna likes to say, prefer to dine in.

Get me, babycakes? I'm certain you do if you've been the least bit of a Sex and the City student. And get this: In one of those impossibly trendy little clubs at which Ms. P.O. likes to boogie down, Slurpa hit the ladies' room, as she is wont to do. But not to relieve herself!

Nope. Instead, in one of those ridiculously peekable stalls, S.P.O. got a blow on, while another gal in the same toilet compartment blew Slurpa.
How do I know this? Slurpa, totally sloshed, per usual, actually forgot to close the stall door. And just as Ms. Pop-Off was screaming to the endorphin-bestowing goddess inside herself, someone else walked in the damn bathroom.

Slurpa, total slut pro she be, just kept right on--at high volume, too. Oh, my. Think even I'm getting a little excited.

http://www.eonline.com/Gossip/Awful/...nd.060703.html

Tater Tot · July 3rd, 2006, 12:45 PM

Totally Lindsay Lohan. This story about someone walking in on her and another girl in a bathroom stall sounds familiar. I know i've read it before.

MrsDark · July 3rd, 2006, 12:52 PM

Little beady eyes makes me think Parisite. Or Kirsten Drunkst.

**NoDayButToday** · July 3rd, 2006, 12:56 PM

I really think this is Paris. Especially since there is the sex tape with a playmate and the photos from her hacked sidekick of her making out (topless) with another girl. Plus her buddy Kim Stewart is on the list of "and it's not" people.

asha22 · July 3rd, 2006, 12:57 PM

Sounds damn hot whoever it is!!!!!

Tater Tot · July 3rd, 2006, 01:28 PM

Still thinking it's Lindsay. Ted drops the names Angelina, Meg, Helen and Madonna and mentions Sex and the City:

1) Lindsay said that she has a crush on Angelina in an interview.

2) Lindsay was said to be the next "Meg Ryan", that is before she turned into a druggy skank.

3) Lindsay was recently on the cover of Cosmo (Helen Gurley Brown's mag)

4) Lindsay and Madonna are new friends, through Kaballah.

5) Lindsay was duped by that fake "Jason Lewis" of Sex and the City. The whole story was detailed by Gawker.

I'm sticking with Lindsay. Also, in another vice about Morgan Mayhem (which we all know is LL), Ted compares her to Jodie Foster.

nana55 · July 3rd, 2006, 01:42 PM

My first thought is Lindsay, but I've heard she doesn't always get her man. Of course she would more than Paris would

Zee · July 3rd, 2006, 06:45 PM

It's gotta be Paris. Beady eyes=Paris

wakeupinBOSTON · July 3rd, 2006, 06:51 PM

Well, it says beautiful so it isn't Lohan. Also, it mentions "tush shaking" and Paris has been known to have dance-offs, but then so has Lindsay. Nevermind then lol. Lindsay or Paris sounds right to me. What about Chestica?

LynnieD · July 3rd, 2006, 07:28 PM

Usually there are 'and it ain't' and then theres three people....

Was Paris one of them??

**NoDayButToday** · July 3rd, 2006, 09:36 PM

The "and it ain'ts" are Cameron Diaz, Rose McGowan, and Kim Stewart (which adds to my belief it's Paris since they're best buddies now).

allthesun · July 4th, 2006, 02:07 AM

So, my very fist guess was Sarah Jessica Parker bc of the initials he posted and she is often refered to as SJP and the SATC reference. It is a common thread that her hubbie is a gay...I think she was a ballerina or some sort of dancer. The only problem I can find is that I haven't heard much gossip of her going out to clubs unless that was the dancing reference I can't remember....which then leads to Lindsay Lohan and the recent bathroom incident and she is a well known clubber. So there you go, SJP or LiLo.

cocainekate · July 4th, 2006, 02:13 AM

My vote goes to Paris.

southernbelle · July 4th, 2006, 09:57 AM

for some reason my first thought was Shakira.. i think bc of the butt shaking clue and the beady eyes

card · July 5th, 2006, 12:46 PM

The blind vice doesn't mention anything about substantial talent, like the Morgan Mayhem made a reference to being a talented actress. This one doesn't say anything like that, just parties and lots of partners. The beady eyes made me think of Paris also. She steals everyone elses boyfriends, hence the reference about bedding every guy in the western hemisphere. Yeah, this one is Paris.