Ted Casablanca Blind Item 5/22/06

Wonderwoman · May 22nd, 2006, 05:53 PM

One Menacing Matchmaker Blind Vice

It seemed like serial dater Smarma Slut-Pop had finally snagged herself a winner. Bacon La Thighs seemed like a really upstanding guy, by all accounts. He just graduated college, has a guaranteed lucrative job waiting for him and is so not into the socialite scene.

Indeed, Mr. L.T. seemed like the low-key yin to Smarma's do-hoppin' yang. And he's pretty damn cute, too!

But, alas, it seems as if Smarma 'n' Beef just weren't meant to be. Evidently, Bacon's peeps and concerned buds got wind of the surprising seriousness of the tabloid-splashed relationship and put the killer-kibosh on it--to the best of their lethal, meddling abilities, that is.

See, being photographed out partying with said Smarma was no good for Bacon's rep, not to mention that of his business. So, the La Beef dude was told by those who pay him and protect him to kiss the new object of his lust buh-bye. Parting over partying is such sweet sorrow, no?

But Bacon's pals have hearts, too, cold as they may be. The Beef's campers hooked B.L.T. up with a bootylicious new babe who ain't a famous type. Hopefully, this local lass will keep Mr. Thigh entertained and outta the spotlight for a while. As for poor Smarma? It's back to the damn designing, drawing board for her.

And let's just say the pickings are prolly pretty slim for Smarm-hon, unless she doesn't mind recycling.

And it ain't
Mischa Barton, Tara Reid or Sharon Stone

Ted Casablanca, NY Daily News

LynnieD · May 22nd, 2006, 05:57 PM

Totally Paris Hilton!!! The new man is Matt Leinhart--he just graduated college and was drafted #1 in the NFL draft to the Arizona Cardinals. They are NOT happy with him being seen out and about w/Skanky Ho, so they have basically told him to knock it off. He's making TONS of money, so his agent/manager/team reps are the ones telling this....

I know I'm right about this one. FINALLY.

ggg · May 22nd, 2006, 06:07 PM

oh how i hope you are right, lynnied! there is something so DELISH about paris hilton being so bad for his business - the NFL - with all their scandals, that tickles me beyond belief. paris worse than murder for hire? worse than drug use? worse than a sexual assault scandal? i love it.

LynnieD · May 22nd, 2006, 06:08 PM

That was too easy!! Especially when he said that Paris has few options left, unless she wants to start recycling......haha. SLUT!!!

Alphachimp · May 22nd, 2006, 06:11 PM

Ding, Ding, Ding, LynnieD, we have a winner... You nailed it!

happy8 · May 22nd, 2006, 06:39 PM

yep, totally Paris. This one was too easy given that everyone had already reported on it.

ang · May 22nd, 2006, 06:39 PM

I'm sure it is Paris. U got it, Lynnie! BTW, Lynnie, what is your avatar pic from? Although it looks familiar, I can't quite place it, but I LOVE IT!

FierceKiten · May 22nd, 2006, 06:47 PM

Lynnie's got Bacon!

Wonderwoman · May 22nd, 2006, 06:51 PM

Yup, I think it is Paris Slut too.

LynnieD · May 22nd, 2006, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ang

I'm sure it is Paris. U got it, Lynnie! BTW, Lynnie, what is your avatar pic from? Although it looks familiar, I can't quite place it, but I LOVE IT!

Thanks ang! It's Patsy from 'Absolutely Fabulous'. One of my personal fav shows going! And I attempt to catch it as often as possible on BBC America.
So politically incorrect that its almost obscene. Nothing better!!!

CherryDarling · May 22nd, 2006, 09:59 PM

Go Lynnie!!!!!!!!!!!! *tell her what she's won Bob!*

eeyore0101 · May 22nd, 2006, 10:13 PM

Ha! Love Paris gettin kicked to the curb....nothing better!

LynnieD · May 22nd, 2006, 10:19 PM

First, I'd like to thank the Academy...and the Hollywood Foreign Press. Because, honestly, without them, there would be no blind items!
I would like to thank Paris, who at the ripe old age of 25 is the skankiest ho this planet has ever seen. And a ho, that we of course have not heard the last of. Hopefully, we will NOT hear her CD, as I'm sure we will be subjected to numerous affairs/flings/hookups/mercy bathroom fucks of hers for years to come. *sigh*
And lastly, I thank Jesus Christ, my personal savior and Christ.

*wipes away tears* THANK YOU!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!