Ted C Blind Vice: Girl-Thirsty Star denies tasty lady dish! 04/15/11

**LynnieD** · April 21st, 2011, 05:08 PM

We're on a lesbian roll, love it! We've always thought girls know better how to have a really sexy time (guys are just too damn bam-bam-oriented, right?), and Butter Pussy and Cookie Muncher are proving us right.

Take Sheila Horn E., for instance. Now, they just don't come any more gorgeous than the luscious, exotically beautiful Sheila. Ms. Horn E.'s also pretty gifted in her chosen profession. But what Sheila's fans may not know (in fact, we're sure they don't), is that Sheila also has a knack for making other chicks quiver and quake:

PHOTOS: Blind Vice Superstars!

But not always for the right reasons!

Just like Butter is wont to do, Sheila lives for taking a chance on gals who may—or may not—be interested in having a good time with her. For the record, most babes say yes to Sheila's advances. Not only is the multi-talent strikingly beautiful, but usually the women are so overwhelmed by Sheila's charm and fame, they pretty much just do whatever the Industry-respected honey asks them to.

Such was not the case in the Hollywood Hills at a recent A-list party, where Sheila—she ironically is in yet another happy "straight" relationship—put the moves on a striking, slender brunette with vibrant green eyes.

Those eyes darted, dug and may well have blurted, I don't care who you are, get the ef off me, bitch, which is precisely what a very shocked Sheila then did.

It was a major set-back for Ms. Horn E., who's always gotten what she wanted in the past—at least, as far as her lesbian love-life goes. Sheila's heterosexual romance history, on the other hand, is an entirely different subject, and one that's been covered to great extremes in the media, which is always so busy singing some poor-me song for the beautiful broad.

Well, if all these ass-kissing reporters knew Sheila loves to get it on with girls (maybe more so than she does with guys?), then maybe they'd a have a different approach next time they file one of their inevitable break-up stories on the star?

Oh, yeah.

AND IT AIN'T: Reese Witherspoon, Blake Lively, Taylor Swift.

Read more: Blind Vice: Girl-Thirsty Star Denied Tasty Lady Dish! - E! Online

Dear Ted:
Hope you are well! When you said multi-talented, strikingly beautiful for Sheila Horn E., could you be referring to Anne Hathaway? It would be fun to think of her as not such a goody two shoes! I think she might enjoy it as well.
—Jule

Dear Get Real:
Firstly, Anne is no striking beauty. Secondly, she doesn't date to enjoy, she dates to advance. Hope you're well, too, babe!

Dear Ted:
I loved the Sheila Horn E. Blind Vice and I have my thoughts about who it might be, but for some reason, I am more intrigued with the brunette with vibrant green eyes and I feel she was the actual star of the BV. Was she just a random hottie invited for her looks or an A-lister as well? And if she's an A-lister, might she actually have a BV moniker of her own? This BV made my somewhat crappy day!
—Bastiaan

Dear Oh, Shiela:
Sorry you're having a bad day, sweets, hopefully this won't make it worse: the brunette is not a star. Just a very good-looking civilian who wasn't at all amused by the massively famous Sheila's touchy-feely come-on.

Dear Ted:
OK, here are my guesses on your leso-trio: Cookie Muncher=Brooklyn Decker, Sheila Horn E.=Chelsea Handler, Butter Pussy=Fergie. Am I close on any of these?
—pearl.mae

Wow, if those guesses were correct, what a lesbian troika that would be, huh? Alas, excellent as each of your hunches may be, they're ultimately wrong. Particularly the latter two (much as Chelsea is flattered by your guess, I'm sure). Think more movies, not TV, for the former, and TV, not music, for the latter.

Read more: Bitch-Back! What's Reese Got to do With Robsten? - E! Online

**bellini** · April 21st, 2011, 05:15 PM

Aren't the "it ain'ts" suppose to be somewhat similar to the actual person? I always thought they were a bit of a clue. The descriptions lucious and exotically beautiful would not make me think of Reese Witherspoon, Blake Lively or Taylor Swift.

So I got nothin'.

**MohandasKGanja** · April 21st, 2011, 05:25 PM

I was thinking Halle Berry because he says luscious and exotically beautiful. And terrible history with all of her boyfriends. But he says "multi-talent", so doesn't she have to be good at something besides acting?

**greysfang** · April 21st, 2011, 05:42 PM

Scarlett Johansson

**sprynkles** · April 21st, 2011, 06:06 PM

Aniston?

**fgg** · April 21st, 2011, 07:16 PM

How has anyone Anne dated helped her to advance?
Posted from my iPhone

**SHELLEE** · April 21st, 2011, 07:22 PM

Thank's Lynnie, so glad you're back! The aia's are all blonde so I like the Scarlett Johansson guess. I also like Padma Lakshmi, because she is exotic and multi talented.

**faithanne** · April 22nd, 2011, 03:30 AM

Originally Posted by bellini

Aren't the "it ain'ts" suppose to be somewhat similar to the actual person? I always thought they were a bit of a clue. The descriptions lucious and exotically beautiful would not make me think of Reese Witherspoon, Blake Lively or Taylor Swift.

And are any of them multi-talented? I know Reese sang in "Walk the Line" but what about the other two? Ted is full of shit, as usual.

**cmmdee** · April 22nd, 2011, 11:00 AM

Yep all blonde but I am coming up empty with a guess...

**bellini** · April 22nd, 2011, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by faithanne

And are any of them multi-talented? I know Reese sang in "Walk the Line" but what about the other two? Ted is full of shit, as usual.

Yeah I think you're right.

**LynnieD** · April 22nd, 2011, 04:59 PM

Dear Ted:
I hope you're finally feeling better! It's been a sad spring for me, since my BFF's daddy (who practically raised me too) had his cancer return and likely won't make it to her wedding in May. Thanks so much for your gossip, it's been a great distraction. So maybe you can help me with my guesses for your recent Blind Vice ladies? Cookie is Fergie, Sheila Horn-E is Rihanna and Sally Pearlsmyth is Xtina. All singers, I know, but maybe thinking out of the box is good?
—Doc

Dear All Wrong:
Sorry to hear about your sad spring! And I'm extra sorry because none of those guesses are correct, but keep up the good Vicing. It's almost there, just think totally different professions for each and every one of those dolls!

Dear Ted:
How are these for guesses: Cookie Muncher is Rebecca Romijn and Sheila Horn E. is Uma Thurman. Did I get it right? Or am I thisclose?
—T

Dear Not Even:
Thisclose to this close! Sorry doll, you got it all wrong. Don't get to ahead of yourself. It's never that obvious.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_...#ixzz1KHuPyk00

**MohandasKGanja** · April 22nd, 2011, 05:08 PM

Speaking of aliases, I didn't know until now that Ted Casablanca's real name is Bruce Bibby.

**immature** · April 22nd, 2011, 05:42 PM

In what world is Hathaway not strikingly beautiful, Bruce Bibby? Ted--huh.

And: Amanda Seyfried (the 'exotic' being a misleading clue) and Mila Kunis?