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Thread: Ted C Blind Vice: Harland Fuss’ Triumphant Return 8/20/10

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    Bronze Member mysticlady's Avatar
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    Default Ted C Blind Vice: Harland Fuss’ Triumphant Return 8/20/10

    How interesting how low our Toothy-Tile-era, wildly talked about bisexual Blind boy Harland Fuss chose to lay for several years. So much so, he decided to go and get married! Gosh, do you think Harland really isn't into the boys, anymore?

    Well, you know, certain habits die hard:

    See, Harland just decided—based on his continued ho-hum career performance—that he needed to amp things up a bit. And if he couldn't haul out any more blockbuster projects, he'd simply try the get-married-and-procreate path. After all, that sometimes works for fading, closeted gay stars who are looking for a tabloid leg-up with their popularity, right?



    Uh, not always, as poor Fey Oiled-Tush has discovered. But, we digress.

    Harland just hasn't been able to quash his man-on-man desires (hard as he's tried, poor thing). And what with his career hitting the back-burner 'n' all, he decided not that long ago that he'd do the domestic dance, find a chick to fake-tango with and see if he could muster back up that ol' bedroom eyes thing. Onscreen, mind you.


    Because the deal is (and, trust, there is a deal here, folks) that Harland's beard was promised a career-boost herself, in the arrangement. And she, like a lot of desperate wannabes in this business, bit. In fact, she chomped on the behind-the-scenes opportunity so fast, Mr. Fuss, always a more thoughtful dude than Tinseltown's used to, wondered what the hell he'd gotten himself into.

    But it was far too late to go back on his devil-dealing scenario.






    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Orlando Bloom?

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    That's also the popular guess on E! Sounds likely.

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    Elite Member Sleuth's Avatar
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    It sounds like Orlando Bloom but Miranda Kerr could hardly be described as a deperate wannabe. She is quite successful in her own right. Unless she is trying to get into acting.
    Alicia Silverstone: "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

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    Bloom fits this perfectly. I would absolutely believe Kerr would be angling for a career in acting, or even to become some sort of celebrity figure, maybe a reality show host or something.

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    Elite Member Jezi's Avatar
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    Orlando Bloom. His last blockbuster movie was POTC3 in 2007. He began dating Miranda Kerr in late 2007.

    Also, Miranda is getting 'up there' in age, for a model. She's 27 so she probably only has a few years left in her modelling career. It's logical for her to try and get in to acting... and it's also logical for her not to be successful because she's yet another model trying to get into acting.

    ETA: oh, and he's about the same age as Jake Gyllenhaal/Toothy Tile, only 2yrs difference, and started being successful at around the same time (Donnie Darko and LOTR in 2001)

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    Bronze Member mysticlady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GKing View Post
    Bloom fits this perfectly. I would absolutely believe Kerr would be angling for a career in acting, or even to become some sort of celebrity figure, maybe a reality show host or something.

    Kerr actually audition to repace Megan Fox in the 3rd Transformers movie.
    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

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    Ted is not fond of Miranda Kerr, and often implies that she's riding the Orlando Bloom publicity train. He, even if you wouldn't, would ABSOLUTELY call her a desperate wannabe.

    Ted ruled out Jensen Ackles today, but we real sleuths already knew it couldn't be him since Ted had already confirmed him as a BV.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Harland Fuss Jensen Ackles? He is recently married, and Danneel Harris has had a career boost with her new TV show. Am I right?
    —Chaz

    Dear Fussy:
    Nope, but great guess. Harland and Jensen aren't too different from each other, if you think about it. Oh, no, don't think about that!

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    Elite Member Geest's Avatar
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    I'm shit at blinds and i usually don't think of anyone reading them (but I enjoy thinking through the possibilies you all mention) but this time the Blind name was somehow replaced with "Orlando Bloom" in my head as I was reading it for the first time. maybe it's a sign?

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    Bronze Member mysticlady's Avatar
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    Dear Ted:
    Since you dusted off the old Harland Fuss B.V., can you give us an update on his relaysh with Gus, please? Are they still together? If not, who broke up with whom? And who is Fussy seeing on the DL, then, if not Gussy?
    —Agusta

    Dear Gus Who:
    Long over, babe. Too bad, too, because they were way too hot together, but it was always more of a short-term (very) steamy hookup sitch. Neither dude expected a serious relaysh to come of it, just sex, sex and, oh yeah, more sex.



    Read more: Bitch-Back! Are These Actions Stars a Knockout? - E! Online


    Now I really think that Orlando is not Harland. Viggo Mortensen was guessed as Grimy Gus and they did/do have a serious relationship.
    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

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    Bronze Member Kathoward's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mysticlady View Post
    Dear Ted:

    Since you dusted off the old Harland Fuss B.V., can you give us an update on his relaysh with Gus, please? Are they still together? If not, who broke up with whom? And who is Fussy seeing on the DL, then, if not Gussy?
    —Agusta

    Dear Gus Who:
    Long over, babe. Too bad, too, because they were way too hot together, but it was always more of a short-term (very) steamy hookup sitch. Neither dude expected a serious relaysh to come of it, just sex, sex and, oh yeah, more sex.



    Now I really think that Orlando is not Harland. Viggo Mortensen was guessed as Grimy Gus and they did/do have a serious relationship.

    How do you know that Orlando and Viggo do/did have a serious relationship? Is it a reliable source.

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    Bronze Member mysticlady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathoward View Post
    How do you know that Orlando and Viggo do/did have a serious relationship? Is it a reliable source.
    Yes very reliable.
    Last edited by mysticlady; August 25th, 2010 at 07:53 PM.
    There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

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    Dang..I totally thought Orlando when I was reading it.

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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    Yep, it's gotta be Orlando. Definitely Viggo as Gus too.

    If it is him, too bad they're bringing a baby into such a sham.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

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    Aragorn has been shagging SuperElf?!?

    No. Just - nooo.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.(Lana Turner)

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