Nude Dork's Sexting Strikeout from Ted Casablanca 10/27/09

LynnieD · October 27th, 2009, 11:35 AM

Think most of our homo Vices have totally effed-up ways of pursuing love? Well, don't rule out the horny-ass heteros, cause Adam Pounce-Prick is at the top of the heap when it comes to humiliating ways of getting off.

Adam P.P. dated a few other celebs once becoming a recognizable name—some honeys way out of his league, but they seem to fall for this funny fella's charm, if not his somewhat-appealing looks. But Adam, like every other swell-headed male out there, wants what he can't get.

Cue violins now, please.

Specifically, APP has his randy eye on one particular lady not in the business, not into casual stuff in the boudoir, either. Too bad for Pouncey, cause that's all he's looking for nowadays, and with this gal, he kept getting outright (and painfully) rejected. Did he finally prevail?

Well, listen up:

Those close to the lady of our dear Ad's affections don't say she has high standards or morals when it comes to bedding guys—they say she's a "prude." Because how dare a dude, and a famous one at that, get denied! What an icy bitch this girl is!

Adam has been incessantly texting Miss Priss late at night to thrill her with sweet nothings. Such as? Asking her if she wanted to "suck face," or "roll under the covers with me." We're not kiddin', folks, we couldn't dream up these lame one-liners (that still live in the femme's phone so she can whip 'em out at parties and give everybody a good laugh).

APP's totally horrible pickup lines for a booty call show just how immature he is in real life, not just the man-children he plays onscreen. (Though we give the dude some respect for not flat-out telling her to sit on his face or some other crude Piven-like crap.)

Well after a few weeks, Pouncey finally got the girl to come over by asking if she wanted to watch a movie. Right. Not sure why Miss Priss fell for this dork's see-through excuse, but she came over to his pad. "Door's open," he shouted from inside, and she sauntered in. And there Ad was, standing completely in the buff.

Miss Priss screamed, as any normal babe would who was being flashed (and sexually harassed) by Pouncey's paunchy bod, and flew the ef out of there, leaving Ad cold, alone and with a fab drop-dead line:

"I've already seen your movie."

What a way to woo a girl, man. It's a wonder you get laid at all.

And It Ain't: Paul Rudd, Bradley Cooper, Jonah Hill

Bonus Blind Vice! Nude Dork's Sexting Strikeout - E! Online

mrs.v · October 27th, 2009, 11:49 AM

that guy from How I met your mother,Jason Segal.

LynnieD · October 27th, 2009, 11:51 AM

^^Yea, that was my first guess too. He seems to fit along w/the notted people.

pookie207 · October 27th, 2009, 11:56 AM

Well who doesn't know if a guy invites you to his house to watch movies, he really means sex.

If she was into playing hard to get, then why didn't she hold out for a dinner date at a restaurant?

eeyore0101 · October 27th, 2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs.v

that guy from How I met your mother,Jason Segal.

That's what I thought too, especially since he went full frontal in the one movie ( I can't remember the name). So it makes sense that she'd "seen that movie".

sparkly · October 27th, 2009, 01:56 PM

Shia Labeouf?

travelbug · October 27th, 2009, 03:26 PM

I thought of Wilmer Valderama (sp?) or Zach Braff, just cause they both seem like douchebags.

Beeyotch · October 27th, 2009, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eeyore0101

That's what I thought too, especially since he went full frontal in the one movie ( I can't remember the name). So it makes sense that she'd "seen that movie".

Oh man I didn't know he'd done full frontal. I googled, it was for Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I kind of liked him and his funny dork schtick so this is disappointing to hear he's so douchey.