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Thread: Bonus Blind Vice from Ted C! Funny Dude's a dud in bed 09/28/09

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Default Bonus Blind Vice from Ted C! Funny Dude's a dud in bed 09/28/09

    Nothing refreshes us on a moody Monday morning like a Bonus Blind Vice, and we're all in luck, babes! This one's full of sex 'n' love and secondhand embarrassment for Stinky Carrot-Crotch, a boob-tube dude used to rolling around in piles of money, but typically all by his lonesome.

    Man's not exactly a lady-killer, though his bank account and undeniable talent certainly get women to give him second, third and fourth glances, shockingly. He's not exactly tragic-looking, either—so we're kinda stunned to hear SCC's got trouble with the female sort.

    Well, not always—Stink got kissed by lady luck (and then some) one special evening, but maybe he should've been careful what he wished for...

    Stinky, who just loves to hear the sound of his own voice, slunk into a karaoke joint for a night of dorky fun, but ended up with a whole lot more in his hand than a microphone. Like two babes looking for a good time and a famous guy to do it with. The punch-drunk gal-pals recognized the dude from his work on the small screen and were more than willing to hightail it back to his place for a night of supersloshed after-hours antics.

    Was Carrot-Crotch into it? Totally! This was his first ménage à trois ever, and he was sick of being a prude by default. Unfortunately for him (and even sadder for the two girls) he didn't know what the hell he was doing the whole time, since he barely knows how to handle one broad in the bedroom, let alone two.

    The next morning, C.C. woke up with a sparkle in his eyes for one of the honeys—'course, she had endured enough of the star's inexperience in bed the night before and ran out of there, prioritizing her libido over a life of riches and jewels and other high-class crap. Her other friend, however, totally had the hots for Carrot-Crotch, but his mind was too focused on what he couldn't have: the other girl who wanted nothing to do with him.

    Take heed to the moral of Stinky Carrot-Crotch: This proves that money sure can't buy you everything—including how to please a woman. 'Course, he could always pick up one of these at his local sex shop; they do the trick just fine, we hear! Unlike Stinky. Poor rich, funny baby.

    And It Ain't: Jon Hamm, Sam Trammell, Matt Stone

    Bonus Blind! Funny Dude's a Dud in Bed! - E! Online

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    All three of the AIAs were born in 1971, so it's someone in thier late 30's. The line "Poor rich, funny baby" makes me think of Seth McFarlane. He's funny, gets a ton of money to do Family Guy, which has that baby.

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Seth McFarlane was my first thought as well, and he's been in the spotlight lately because of the Cleveland Show spinoff.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Yea, I third the Seth MacFarland guess. He likes to hear his own voice too.....

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    He's cute and funny. I wouldn't mind teaching him.

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    Bronze Member mysticlady's Avatar
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    I thought of Seth until someone on the E! boards mention that it could be a redhead from the nickname Carrot Crotch.


    Seth Green? He does do a voice on Family Guy.

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    For some reason I thought of Carrot Top (the screaming orange red headed comedian) but he doesn't fit the clues at all I don't think?

    that doesn't help at all I know. Oops?

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    Elite Member Sylkyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mysticlady View Post
    I thought of Seth until someone on the E! boards mention that it could be a redhead from the nickname Carrot Crotch.


    Seth Green? He does do a voice on Family Guy.
    Yes! That's who I think it is, too. But I never got the vibe he loves the sound of his own voice, but who knows? I really do like this guess.

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    Bronze Member thordis's Avatar
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    This is a stretch, but if of the "and it's not"s have a double letter in their names--Seth Green follows that pattern.
    Things fall apart. It's scientific.

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    Bronze Member thordis's Avatar
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    Correction on my previous post:

    This is a stretch, but each of the "and it's not"s have a double letter in their names--Seth Green follows that pattern.
    Things fall apart. It's scientific.

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    Is Seth Green making piles of money though?

    Seth MacFarlane makes huge money, does all those voices and sings in them too, and Stewie = funny baby.
    Last edited by Piper Grits; September 29th, 2009 at 03:38 AM. Reason: typo

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    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylkyn View Post
    Yes! That's who I think it is, too. But I never got the vibe he loves the sound of his own voice, but who knows? I really do like this guess.
    Ted may not mean it in the typical way - Seth Green does a ton of voice work. Family Guy, Robot Chicken, at least one video game... damn, and tons of other shows, looking at his IMDB page.
    If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

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    Elite Member Fluffy's Avatar
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    Seth Green is a red-head. Perhaps that's why it's "Carrot-Crotch."

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    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tati View Post
    Ted may not mean it in the typical way - Seth Green does a ton of voice work. Family Guy, Robot Chicken, at least one video game... damn, and tons of other shows, looking at his IMDB page.
    Good point.
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    Conan O'Brien?

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