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Thread: 'Semen facials keep you youthful' claims plastic surgeried woman

  1. #46
    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    WHHHY did I click on this thread?! *gags*

  2. #47
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mel1973 View Post
    yeah, I've also heard it whitens teeth, helps you lose weight, makes your hair shiny, cleans the house, cooks dinner, etc. bitches - it's all LIES!

    ETA: Plus, is she saying that she scoops it from her twat and smears it on her face?
    The number of times a man has tried to tell me that it could cure a sore throat...

    Quote Originally Posted by BBDSP View Post
    My youngest daughter (19) was telling me about a girl she knows who had a case of pink eye from this. Makes you wonder about Bob Costas at Sochi, though he was probably just doing it for the sake of his skin.
    Urban Dictionary: dirty pirate

    Quote Originally Posted by Tati View Post
    Those strips are obscene. I used to work in a pharmacy, and we were robbed one night (window smashed and everything). No drugs OR cash were touched... only boxes of diabetic test strips.
    Jeez! We have a cupboard FULL of different kinds of diabetic test strips - ketones piss sticks, four or five different types of blood strips and so on. I could make a killing!
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  3. #48
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    I can't with this thread. I just keep getting random bukakke scenes in my head.

  4. #49
    Elite Member dexter7's Avatar
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    aw boogs, I saw you had made a reply, and was hoping for something good......LOL!

  5. #50
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    LMAO! Sorry to disappoint, but semen is one of the top three bodily fluids that just skeeve me out. I blame it on the unfortunate BJ incident of 1998.
    Sarzy and twitchy2.0 like this.

  6. #51
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    Did the police sketch look like Wilford Brimley?

    Heard it was a cat burglar...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarzy View Post
    WHHHY did I click on this thread?! *gags*
    morbid curiousity.
    Quote Originally Posted by BoogsBun View Post
    LMAO! Sorry to disappoint, but semen is one of the top three bodily fluids that just skeeve me out. I blame it on the unfortunate BJ incident of 1998.
    oh, please tell us more!
    Kill him.
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  7. #52
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbunnyslippers View Post
    Hmm, I suppose this is the reason why I still get carded for cigarettes at 34.

    Has anyone tried vagina secretions on their face?
    Perhaps this lady would give us some pointers. *eyeroll*

    For real though, I'll pass on this face mask. Straight up puke.
    caramel would be the person to consult on this. If she were still around.
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  8. #53
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SHELLEE View Post
    A couple of girls say it tastes like bleach. I've never found that to be the case.
    Quote Originally Posted by dexter7 View Post
    sometimes it does have a "clean" odor.....maybe slightly bleachy, I don't know how exactly to describe it.
    You know those smelly trees with the yellow fan shaped leaves? Ginkgo trees, I think. Anyway, my friend and I nicknamed them 'cum trees' because when their nasty little wrinkly testicle shaped fruit is ripening, you walk down the street and it smells like cum for blocks at a time.

    if you don't believe me, look at this picture of the ginkgo fruit and tell me it doesn't look like a wrinkled ball: http://cbsnewyork.files.wordpress.co...0&h=316&crop=1
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  9. #54
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    You know those smelly trees with the yellow fan shaped leaves? Ginkgo trees, I think. Anyway, my friend and I nicknamed them 'cum trees' because when they're in full bloom, you walk down the street and it smells like cum for blocks at a time.
    That is a pretty common description of those trees.
    sputnik likes this.

  10. #55
    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    Yeah, I got told repeatedly this weekend that sperm was good for skin. I don't know why he bothered, sperm is actually one of the few bodily fluids I'm down with. But then again this is from a guy who is trying to convince me to do anal with him because, "he's only done it one time before and he can't really remember what it's like"
    Ain't nothing wrong with Ohio wang! - MontanaMama

  11. #56
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    You know those smelly trees with the yellow fan shaped leaves? Ginkgo trees, I think. Anyway, my friend and I nicknamed them 'cum trees' because when their nasty little wrinkly testicle shaped fruit is ripening, you walk down the street and it smells like cum for blocks at a time.

    if you don't believe me, look at this picture of the ginkgo fruit and tell me it doesn't look like a wrinkled ball: http://cbsnewyork.files.wordpress.co...0&h=316&crop=1
    Seems like people say it about a particular pear tree (Bradford) as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by levitt View Post
    Yeah, I got told repeatedly this weekend that sperm was good for skin. I don't know why he bothered, sperm is actually one of the few bodily fluids I'm down with. But then again this is from a guy who is trying to convince me to do anal with him because, "he's only done it one time before and he can't really remember what it's like"
    well, refresh his memory by shoving a broom up his ass.
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  12. #57
    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    Oh, we've had that conversation. He doesn't want anything in or around his arsehole. Funny, isn't it? Also he's hung like a horse so I don't fancy that going any where near my poop chute.
    Ain't nothing wrong with Ohio wang! - MontanaMama

  13. #58
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    So all those fast food workers who jerk off into the special sauce are just trying to improve their customer's health?

    And regarding the facials, the "youthful grandmother" looks like a pillow-faced 67 year old who's had injections and plastic surgery and dyes her hair, so it's obviously not working for her.
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

  14. #59
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by levitt View Post
    Yeah, I got told repeatedly this weekend that sperm was good for skin. I don't know why he bothered, sperm is actually one of the few bodily fluids I'm down with. But then again this is from a guy who is trying to convince me to do anal with him because, "he's only done it one time before and he can't really remember what it's like"
    Watch out for when he tells you that threesomes are a great way of overcoming social anxiety.
    levitt likes this.

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    This for Mel, since she asked so politely, and it is rather amusing (in retrospect).

    It was basically a technical difficulty while giving head one day, perhaps bad penis placement, I don't know for sure. To make a long story short, my BF at the time, shot his load, and said load, proceeded to rocket launch out of my nose (very similar to when you swallow soda wrong and it goes out your nose). Mind you I still had a mouthful of the stuff too. So I was sitting there totally panic stricken, with a mouthful of the stuff AND cum trails hanging from my nose.

    First of all, the shit fucking burns your nose, AND the smell just lingers about. To make it even worse, I had fucking cum boogers the next day. If you think coke boogers are bad, bump it up a notch, then you'll have cum boogers.
    ManxMouse, Jazzy and Kittylady like this.

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