believe me, you need to go to a professional to get a good blonde colour. and not just any professional, you have to do your research and go to someone who specialises in blondes. especially if your hair is naturally dark. it's not cheap but it is definitely worth the investment. i'm sure you love your mother but unless she is a professional colourist, you have to go to a salon.
i'm naturally blonde, and even i have trouble finding a good colourist if i want to get highlights. most of them either like the trashy, cheap brassy look or they don't know how to make it look natural. you need a professional who will put in several different shades (lowlights and highlights) and make them look natural. also, someone who knows how to put in highlights (handpainted, instead of just poking bits of hair out of those perforated rubber caps) so they don't grow out horribly but rather in a more progressive way. they have to know where to put in the highlights so it looks natural and not just like random stripes of different colour hair.
i also agree with la folie that you need to lose the white eyeshadow. i don't think you need any bronzer but some natural looking blush would be nice.
as soon as you get a darker, more natural looking hair colour you won't look washed out anymore but it will also help if you invest in make up that flatters your colouring more. i don't think there is anything wrong with being pale (i'm pale myself) but it is important to know what flatters your colouring and what doesn't.
and no, you don't need to reshape your brows and don't listen to anyone who tells you that you should. same goes for lightening/bleaching eyebrows - it always looks weird and wrong, i'm definitely not a fan. i love strong, arched brows and you have them. the only shaping they need is to pluck out the hairs that fall outside the line.