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Thread: Mothers and daughters and beauty

  1. #16
    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
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    I don't know the mother/daughter beauty phenomenon. My Mother never mentioned my looks, but then again, I never asked or wondered.

    I do have a son and honestly think he is one of the best looking kids I have ever seen. Big chocolate brown eyes, button nose, cute little mouth; he's absolutley stunning. There is a part of me that thinks I think that just because he's my son and I couldn't ever see him as anything other than perfect, but then there is a side of me that believes I am not biased, but that I just know a really good looking kid when I see one and he is one. Seriously.

  2. #17
    Elite Member Picara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martirio View Post
    I don't think my mother finds me beautiful. She has told me that I'm pretty, but I sense that she doesn't mean it. She just doesn't want me to feel bad about myself. But I don't really care... It's her fault that she chose an ugly man to father her babies.
    Ha Ha Ha! That's hilarious. You have a great attitude.

  3. #18
    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pocahontas13 View Post
    In your mothers eyes you will always be the most beautiful person on earth, you don't have to fit her beauty stereotype to be beautiful to her!
    Really? Then why do so many mothers put healthy and "normal" girls on diets from a young age. Or continually project their own insecurities upon their daughters?

    I have a few friends whose mothers were incredibly harsh and callous when it came to their looks.

  4. #19
    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VenusInFauxFurs View Post
    Really? Then why do so many mothers put healthy and "normal" girls on diets from a young age. Or continually project their own insecurities upon their daughters?

    I have a few friends whose mothers were incredibly harsh and callous when it came to their looks.
    Those are the mothers that are jealous and angry that their youth has expired.

  5. #20
    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    ^^ True that!

  6. #21
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    i think it is important to try to reach a point where external opinions (even those of your family) don't matter anymore..i think it takes time, but that is the point i'd like to reach, eventually..i'm already partway there, it is obviously easier said than done tho...

  7. #22
    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    As far as I can tell, your pretty on the inside, which always reflects on the outside, too. So it can't be that bad.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



  8. #23
    Gold Member JerriBlank's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=VenusInFauxFurs;600880]Really? Then why do so many mothers put healthy and "normal" girls on diets from a young age. Or continually project their own insecurities upon their daughters?[QUOTE]

    My mom put me on a diet when I was in grade 5 till out of high school. Except she would never and still doesn't call it a diet, she says you're just eating healthy now, but really it was a diet from whatever diet book was popular at the time. I think by not calling it a diet she felt better about doing it and looked like a better parent, like she was more concerned about health than looks.

    She always told me I was beautiful though, but I still think her actions speak louder than words.

  9. #24
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    I think it is important that at least 2 people in your life think you are beautiful. Your Mother and your Beloved.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  10. #25
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    Oh, ya know, these posts make me feel kind of sad. I heard from a psychologist friend that self esteem in a child is formed by age 3. I wish I could send you my Mom for a day. She'd hug and kiss you and tell you how wonderful and beautiful you are.

    My Mom was exceptionally beautiful - and still is. I learned everything about being a woman from watching her. I used to sit in the bathroom while she applied makeup. More importantly, her manners and the way she treats people influenced me greatly.

    The one thing she didn't do was make a fuss about perfection. I'm much more laid back when it comes to looks and she knew that about me.

    If and when you have a daughter, tell her she's smart, pretty, kind and can be whatever she wants to be. Tell her your hope for her is that she lives a happy life. It works.

  11. #26
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    To Crumpet:
    I am just curious, did your mom look nice after all the ps? Or was it just a lot of scars and more insecurties afterwards?
    Also, was it strange to see a different kind of face on your mom?

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chalet View Post
    If and when you have a daughter, tell her she's smart, pretty, kind and can be whatever she wants to be. Tell her your hope for her is that she lives a happy life. It works.
    That's what I did Chalet, even though my mother was not like yours. She was not into makeup or nails or clothing. I always used to say my mother is a mix of Minnie Pearl, Tugboat Annie and Rose on the Golden Girls (Betty White, she even really looks like her). She just had no clue and still doesn't. I know my self-esteem lacked and it still does in some ways. She was always proud that I was very attractive when I got into my 20's... I know she's disappointed that I've gained weight but she needs to realize I am no longer 35 or even 45! In high school she'd always say "Don't ask me about boys. I know nothing about boys." Making it clear she did not want to discuss the subject.

    It's a complicated subject but I think she was very much in competition with me because of her own lack of adequate mothering. I vowed NEVER to be like that with my daughter, and I treat my daughter much like your mother treated you, Chalet. My daughter maintains some privacy but she comes to me for things that I would never, could never, get from my mother.

    As for beauty, my mother was really pretty when she was younger and she's aged very well, but because of self-esteem problems herself and being convinced that being stylish is a waste of time, she doesn't dress as stylishly as she could or should. She doesn't like it when I spend money on looking nice, so I just don't mention it. Spending money on clothing and makeup is a big no-no for her, so it's easier to avoid the subject.

    I'm sorry you feel badly xoxo, I know some mothers are harder on their daughters than others. I am glad to say I broke the cycle - my mother went through absolute hell with her mother so I guess I feel lucky that I'm not quite as neurotic as I could be considering her situation, and I'm extremely glad that my daughter seems to have escaped the female karma from the maternal side of the family. When my daughter was born, the first thing my mother said when she saw her was "well, she's a _________ (family name)." I just looked at her sternly and said, "No, she is her OWN person. And she will stay that way." Time has proven that out.
    Last edited by Mira; March 29th, 2007 at 12:27 AM. Reason: add quote

  13. #28
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    i know what you mean mira everyone says my baby(jewel) looks like her sister(memarie) i always say nope she looks like jewel who the hell wants to grow up hearing you look just like so and so. plus my side of the family all say the girls look just like you and their dad's side say oh they look just like him. hellllllo they look like both of us hmmm wonder how the hell that happened i think they both look like themselves lol
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

  14. #29
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    Brava to you Mira for being a great girl Mom. Sex and boys are always complicated subjects. They either are open about or they aren't, depends on their personality. Hey, mine still hasn't told me about sex! I maintain a huge amount of privacy on that subject. As close as we are, she says I tell her nothing, lol.

    It can be such a wonderful lifelong relationship and it's sad when certain issues can't be worked out.

    I shouldn't do this, but I'm a proud daughter. Here's Mom then and two years ago (66). And yes, there's a facelift and chemical peel involved....




  15. #30
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    Beautiful, Chalet! Just beautiful. Wow. But does she know she's sitting on top of Eric Clapton??

    As for sex and boys, ahem, she will NOT discuss that and I've never seen her boobies ever. She will not let me. That's ok. I do know from her birthchart and her b/f's birthchart that they are going at it like rabbits and when I mentioned this, she just went but that's it lol.

    I always tell my kids "you guys think you invented sex, drugs, and rock n roll... let me tell ya about MY generation." Humph! But like you I maintain privacy... kids don't want to hear it lol.

    And shedevil, I have a feeling you will be a great mom. You have a lot to look forward to.

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