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Thread: Kids are cruel... what can be done about arm hair?

  1. #16
    Gold Member WitchHazelEyed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StayYoung View Post
    Thanks everyone.
    I agree that its sad to give into others, but she is actually really bothered by the hair now to the point where even if the teasing stopped, she still has issues with the hair.

    I think wax would be a pain because you can only wax hair that is a certain length. Witcheyedhazel does shaving make your arm feel spikey?
    Well, yeah but only if you don't shave it for awhile. I shave mine every three days and I don't feel stubble.
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  2. #17
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by irishpig View Post
    When I was in 6th grade, my next door neighbor said I had funny looking feet (her family all had the long second toe, my feet have each toe a bit shorter from big toe down to pinky) and I didn't wear flip flops or sandals again until last year, when I was in my 40's. How ridiculous is that?!
    Goodness! I think thats a very good example of how much of an effect some arsehole's words can have.

    I wish i could fast forward her through highschool. I worry about it. It was a shit time for me without any specific teasing. Plus shes too young to have concerns about her body- puberty hasn't even began yet.

  3. #18
    Elite Member Gen X EJC's Avatar
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    Laser hair removal is only about $120 for both arms nowadays. From my understanding it would take 3-4 sessions to get rid of all hair growth cycles, though. Expensive, but permanent. I'd like to do it myself. I got teased for the facial hair and have spent lots of money I don't have on electrolysis and one session of laser hair removal...
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  4. #19
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    The thing is, if it's not arm hair, it'll be something else. If a kid or kids have decided to pick on someone for whatever reason they'll find something to latch on to and give them hell about. A physical quality is just easier because it's more obvious.

    I think a lot of the cruel type teasing done by kids is not even about the specific victim and their teased-about quality per se as it is a rash (and often subconscious...let's face it, all kids are insecure) premptive strike that assures another person will become the object of ridicule, taking the focus off of the teasers.

    I went though plenty of this myself as a kid, being painfully shy and self-conscious, I was an easy target. While I do believe that kids can go too far with being cruel, I also think that kids...especially today...could stand to develop a thicker skin.
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  5. #20
    Elite Member Gen X EJC's Avatar
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    I kind of see what you are getting at Mrs Dark, but it is REALLY difficult to develop a "thicker skin" when you are being constantly put down by people around you. Why do you think most abuse victims stay in the same position for years? It's the same mentality as people who let themselves be bullied, and it's not limited to children, it happens EVERYWHERE - it's just that once you're grown up people call it 'office politics' so it sounds socially acceptable.

    Also, Stay Young, it would be worthwhile to find out what kind of emotional problems your cousin is having. 12 is around the age when my depression came on and it was living hell - anything would send me over the age - I was unbelievably lucky that my teasing had been in another state years earlier and everyone at my junior high was super laid back. It is not in any way her fault that she has been the victim of these people's desire to belittle her, and you need to make sure she understands THAT above all. As to the actual mechanics of her arm hair, well, it seems to me that she would get an awful lot of satisfaction if she didn't have to see it all the time.

    I did try bleaching mine once and that actually worked pretty darn well because once the hair is there it doesn't really grow, so it stays blonde for ages until new growth starts to pepper it up. I did waxing and shaving and yeah, very temporary. Maybe I need to bleach mine again, they're driving me nuts and this thread is making me self conscious now!!! Must go read about people I can laugh at!!
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  6. #21
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    I started shaving my legs at 11 after being embarrassed by my own dad!

    Looking back, I know that he was just having fun with me and didn't realize (until he suddenly started seeing me with shaved legs) how freaked out mortified I was over his teasing.

    At the risk of ruffling feathers:

    Existing emotional problems not withstanding, I just have a hard time putting kids making fun of arm hair in the same category with actual abuse victims. Technically speaking then, I guess anyone who takes an unwarranted ribbing or criticism about anything is an abuse victim? Learning to deal effectively with unpleasant situations, difficult people, being teased, or even outright bullied when young (including where to turn to if this was not something I could handle on my own) is probably at least a factor in why I never allowed myself to become a victim in abusive relationships/situations later on in life, not to mention was a self-esteem and ego developer that helped me make the transition from shy, nervous, self-conscious, easily vicimtized kid/adolescent who wanted to retreat to a corner into an adult with a healthy sense of self who knew I was deserving of respect. Vital part of that transition IMO. Kids don't get that when they are allowed to buy into their victimhood.

    That being said, I don't disagree with doing something about the arm hair if it really bothers the kid. I can definitely relate to feeling self-conscious at that age...even though my leg hair never bothered me until it was mentioned, it would have continued to (and did) bother me long after being embarrassed was over. But it is not the answer when it comes to her learning not to allow herself to be bullied/affected by teasing.
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  7. #22
    Gold Member frazzled's Avatar
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    I've got some Italian blood, so my older sister and I are quite hairy on the arms. I was always self-conscious about it because I was probably the hairiest of my friends, but I just learned to accept it. Honestly, shaving/waxing is just too much work for something that most people won't even pay attention to. I'd rather have some arm hair than have to wax it regularly for the rest of my life. Once you start, you cannot stop because it'll just grow back thicker, darker and more unsightly.

    Just hope that karma kicks in soon for those little bastards. Maybe they'll all develop thick mustaches overnight?
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  8. #23
    Gold Member birdmadgirl's Avatar
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    I use an electric razor on my arms. I have for years. I'm very fair with blonde hair and black body hair. It's disgusting and it makes me very self conscious.

    I don't think it's a bad thing for the little girl to shave/wax/whatever it off.

    Some kids just get picked on, period. And she may still get picked on for something else, but this will be one less thing kids have for ammunition. If it makes her feel better, why not?

  9. #24
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    My advice would be to do the Jolene cream bleach first. I don't think it matters how long the hair is, I've seen Carmindy on What Not to Wear use it to lighten eyebrows.

    Remember that waxing or shaving could cause a rash initially...which could give the kids more ammunition.

  10. #25
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i'm pretty hairy but luckily it's blonde so luckily it's not very noticeable. my sister has dark hair though and my mum let her start bleaching the hair on her arms when she was about 11 and that's what she's done since. it's a lot easier than wax or shaving and if you leave it on the right amount of time it's also the most natural looking. totally bald arms are weird, unless you're naturally hairless.
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  11. #26
    Elite Member JamieElizabeth's Avatar
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    I had this problem, too. Remember that I wasn't allowed to shave my legs even at 15. Being that there is so much on the market for hair removal, find the best method for her.

  12. #27
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    You mentioned that her arm hair was dark and kind of implied that it was the biggest problem?

    One thing that you could do, instead of shaving, is that you could dye the hair to a light colour. I have done this various times on places that I don't want to shave the hair off (since it'll grow back alot of thicker) but where I don't want it to be visible either. But remember to choose a product that is meant for this kind of dyeing, not one of those meant for the hair on your head. Atleast in my country you can get those from bigger markets and they're usually located at the area where all the other shaving etc. stuff are.

  13. #28
    Gold Member DevilDoll2025's Avatar
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    I have dark hair but I usually shave it off. I had a friend who was teased for the same thing but she used a bleaching kit on her arms. Using a bleach would probably be good because she would still have the hair when it gets colder and wouldn't have to worry about remembering to shave or hurting her with a wax.
    I hate that children have to pick on other kids, I went through it alot and it made me really self conscience and I went through a period of depression at 13, I got to a point where I refused to leave the house, but I got over it with alot of therapy. But now that i've moved back to my hometown in arizona these people that made fun of me for whatever are now fatties with about 10 kids and deadbeat husband/wife working at a dead end job and utterly miserable. hah!
    My on brother is going through this too, he is was made fun of at school for the clothes he wears and in my opinion they were awful because my mom dresses him in the stuff she wants. I ended up buying his clothes and shoes because he couldn't stand it anymore, but the dumb kids always manage to find everything that is not perfect with him and torment him.

  14. #29
    Elite Member JamieElizabeth's Avatar
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    I had a friend that had a mustache, and she would bleach it.

  15. #30
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    Bleaching armhair is the way to go. It takes a long time for it to grow out so the upkeep is so much easier than other methods. But if the kids are already teasing her, they're going to notice. Whatever she does, she should try it during a long vacation like summer break.
    If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning

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