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Thread: Mothers and daughters and beauty

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    Default Mothers and daughters and beauty

    this is not the most pc topic, but oh well..do any of you guys have mothers (or know mothers) who don't find their daughters attractive..?

    i realized when i was younger that all the women my mom pointed out to me as being beautiful (like in movies/tv or in her social circle of friends) all had a sort of similar look--very perfect, delicate oval faces, large-ish eyes, sort of classic beauty stereotypes i suppose

    i just do not have that, at all, not one bit...i didn't come out with that bone structure or whatever...i look ok but not like that..

    i think my mom will never say it but she has these very high standards of beauty that i don't possess and sometimes i feel a little bit ugly around her, just a little bit..

    it's superficial and other things matter more of course..i'm just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this..

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    Bronze Member Pocahontas13's Avatar
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    In your mothers eyes you will always be the most beautiful person on earth, you don't have to fit her beauty stereotype to be beautiful to her!

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    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
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    I agree with Pocahontas. My mum is always saying other girls are gorgeous around me, to shut her up i say 'yeah i so want to sleep with her'. The lesbian talk grosses her out, so its my weapon, hehe.

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    maybe it's different where you guys are from..eastern/asian moms can be very opinionated with these things..it's just that the cultures are different and the way moms are with their daughters is different..i don't quite know how to explain it exactly...

    **tho i also sometimes think about things too much sometimes when would be better to not dwell on this or that..

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    Elite Member sherbear905's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pocahontas13 View Post
    In your mothers eyes you will always be the most beautiful person on earth, you don't have to fit her beauty stereotype to be beautiful to her!

    ^^Oh Dear, you don't know MY mother.

    She has this unrealistic idea of what is beautiful, and has had a face lift, eye work a couple times, 4 nose jobs, lipo under her jaw, and veneers.

    I clearly do not fit into what she sees as beautiful.

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    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    ^ How sad!

    And considering we learn so much from our Mothers, this is even sadder!

    I'd hate to pass on my body obsessions to any kids I might have oneday.

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    i know what you mean honey, but because you're thinking of it now, you probably won't pass it on...i think i just try to accept that i don't have the kind of beauty that my mom (and most people probably) think is really cool...i'm a little insecure in this regard but sometimes i feel like i can really understand other peoples' insecurities because of this fact...so that is a good thing too..

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    Gold Member Reptillycus's Avatar
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    I always felt ugly around my Mom too. My hair wasn't combed right, how could I be comfortable in those shoes, or why don't you wear this, or don't ever talk to your best friend again. I felt she never complimented me, but now that I am older, I realize that she loves me very much. I see my husband's Mother do this constantly to him too. I think a lot of Moms act like this because they don't think that anything they say or do could really hurt us. Of course, they are wrong, they don't see us as unique people, with feelings that are different from theirs. They just see us as their babies, and don't understand how they can hurt us.

    xoxo, I KNOW that you are beautiful.
    DH is a Siberian Tiger

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    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xoxo View Post
    maybe it's different where you guys are from..eastern/asian moms can be very opinionated with these things..it's just that the cultures are different and the way moms are with their daughters is different..i don't quite know how to explain it exactly...

    **tho i also sometimes think about things too much sometimes when would be better to not dwell on this or that..
    I think I know what you mean about the cultures. My asian friend who is extremely beautiful feels not so because of her eyelids (they aren't wide enough, she thinks) and her mom is always pointing out Caucasian women who look beautiful with wide eyes. Its just a different concept of beauty. I have a Middle Eastern friend who doesn't feel as lovely because her mom has always told her how beautiful fair skin is. Very sad.

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    I don't think my mother finds me beautiful. She has told me that I'm pretty, but I sense that she doesn't mean it. She just doesn't want me to feel bad about myself. But I don't really care... It's her fault that she chose an ugly man to father her babies.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! ediebrooks's Avatar
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    My mom always told me I was pretty, and talked about how much she admired certain features of mine, like my high forehead (yuck!) or flat stomach(wish I still had it!) She did say that I didn't need to wear so much "goop" on my eyes, but on the other hand didn't like it when I went out in public with no makeup. But for the most part, she only had positive things to say about my appearance.

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    Elite Member crumpet's Avatar
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    She has this unrealistic idea of what is beautiful, and has had a face lift, eye work a couple times, 4 nose jobs, lipo under her jaw, and veneers.

    I clearly do not fit into what she sees as beautiful.

    Unfortunately, it doesn't sound as though she met her criteria for being beautiful either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crumpet View Post
    She has this unrealistic idea of what is beautiful, and has had a face lift, eye work a couple times, 4 nose jobs, lipo under her jaw, and veneers.

    I clearly do not fit into what she sees as beautiful.


    Unfortunately, it doesn't sound as though she met her criteria for being beautiful either.
    ^^Good Point.

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    Ok, this is one of my great mysteries of life that I came across in 8th grade. We had this total misfit in school, Brenda. She was tall, with real thin legs with a barrel body. Greasy brown hair, glasses, buck toothed, big nose with very large balckheads, not smart, no personality. I mean this poor girl had nothing going for her. One day I saw her nother pick her up from school and her mother looked just like her! Then began my big internal debate, does Brenda's mother know she's ugly? Or does she think she's beautiful because she's her child?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Martirio View Post
    I don't think my mother finds me beautiful. She has told me that I'm pretty, but I sense that she doesn't mean it. She just doesn't want me to feel bad about myself. But I don't really care... It's her fault that she chose an ugly man to father her babies.

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