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  1. South Dakota rancher wins $232 million jackpot
  2. Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries are not real fruit - woman sues
  3. Couple make suicide leap with body of son after his death from meningitis
  4. Harvard establishes chair in gay and lesbian studies
  5. Woman 'tried to smuggle cocaine worth £40,000 into UK under her wig'
  6. Student hurt in mock hanging
  7. Dozens of Incas killed in ritual found in Peru
  8. Michigan native dies on her wedding day in California
  9. Topless coffee shop burns down, officials say it was arson
  10. Philadelphia mob nabs, beats man sought in girl's rape
  11. North Carolina police: Husband arranged wife's rape online
  12. Mother charged with feeding 3-year-old feces
  13. Birmingham AL police shoot dogs and then arrest owners for being upset
  14. Chicago police officer convicted of battery on bartender
  15. Bernie Madoff's sons bitch and complain about being broke to anyone that will listen
  16. Marine recruiter charged with pimping girl, 14
  17. Store owner gives would-be robber 40 bucks and some food
  18. Did crazy-assed George & Cindy Anthony chase away two mourners at high speed?
  19. "We didn't know he was Clarence Thomas"
  20. California Mom allegedly allows teen daughter's sex trysts with parolee
  21. Houston blogger jailed for failing to turn over PC
  22. Women! You have no concept of the depth of male simplicity....
  23. Air France plane missing over Atlantic
  24. An Israeli woman fails at committing suicide using a train
  25. Military recruiter killed in Arkansas shooting
  26. Former Republican staffer wanted "panda sex" with teen boy (not from The Onion)
  27. General Motors files for bankruptcy protection
  28. "Withdrawal" nearly as good as condoms: Study
  29. US abortion doctor is shot dead
  30. Mother deemed 'too stupid' to care for child
  31. Rock throwing couple say they were playing 'Sex Me'
  32. Hail Marmite, full of grace: Jesus found on jar lid
  33. Man fathers 21 children by 11 different women... and he's only 29
  34. Authorities arrest mom for medical neglect of 555-pound teen
  35. $1M bail for woman held in abduction hoax case
  36. Bull catches matador and tears an eight-inch hole in his side. Shame
  37. Siberian police rescue girl, 5, raised by dogs
  38. Oklahoma druggist arrested for killing holdup man
  39. High School elects first openly gay male prom "queen"
  40. Quick-thinking pizza man leads cops to rape victim
  41. Woman whose arms/legs were amputated given 2nd chance to sue doctors
  42. 'Vulture' shoppers circle Chrysler dealers
  43. Move over Ebola: Lujo, the hot new virus from Africa, will kill you twice as fast
  44. San Francisco Zoo settles with brothers in tiger attack
  45. Ohio man planned to have sex with teens
  46. Mother finds missing son after 27 yrs--on Facebook
  47. Female teacher caught having sex w/14 yr old student in the classroom
  48. Helicopter mothering taken to a new low
  49. Toddler awakes from coma singing ABBA
  50. Some sobering stats on texting while driving
  51. Wikipedia to Scientology: Get the f%#"k out.
  52. 7 ways to annoy a flight attendant
  53. Army base battles rash of suicides
  54. Toddler shoots younger brother
  55. Apartments, fields searched for Michigan girl, 5
  56. Police dog, alone in SUV, dies - probe launched
  57. 4 bodies found in vacant funeral home, may have been there since 2006
  58. Starbucks target of new-media campaign by union
  59. Calgary man complains of insect in Tim Hortons chili
  60. Deal in Brazil fashion race row
  61. DMV bans being happy
  62. Prison-style Study Ball keeps students shackled to desk
  63. Woman loses weight on Red Bull only diet; is surprised to have ongoing heart problems
  64. Man, police officer hurt saving 2 from train crash
  65. Mike Tyson's daughter in critical condition
  66. Crisis spurs spike in 'suburban survivalists'
  67. Tennessee woman accused of hurling baby in car seat
  68. They're blowing up Starbucks!
  69. Chk-Chk Boom chick Clare Werbeloff made up Sydney shooting account
  70. Racially segregated proms still held in Georgia. WTF?
  71. Outrage as mother of Baby P is given a 'soft' jail sentence
  72. Teacher sacked for spraying smelly nursery pupils with air freshener
  73. Sextuplets born to British mother
  74. Passer-by pushes suicide jumper in south China
  75. Mother tries to pray away illness, daughter dies instead; Jury convicts mum of murder
  76. 'Abused' 14 year old shoots dad in head
  77. Toddler buys earth moving equipment online
  78. Mary Kay Letourneau hosts `Hot for Teacher' night at bar
  79. Man arrested for f*cking his dog
  80. 2 kids inside California home as parents killed
  81. New Mexico mom charged with killing son on the playground
  82. Real soldiers love their robot brethren
  83. Real fat dead bitch hauled away on flatbed to embarrassment of family
  84. The 1 step guide to not get caught shoplifting: THROW BABIES AT PEOPLE
  85. New Zealand couple withdraws money, flees after bank error
  86. News reporter busted for DUI, has epic bangs for mugshot
  87. Research reveals how Down Syndrome shields against cancer
  88. 13 year old cancer patient and his mother on the run
  89. Three middle school girls attempt to rape boy on the school bus
  90. Brave schoolgirl, eight, becomes youngest Briton to battle ovarian cancer
  91. Heading to a national park? Now you can pack heat
  92. Ten year old girl claims she was raped at school
  93. 2010 Olympic torch looks like huge joint
  94. 5 Alabama officers fired for beating caught on tape
  95. Australian doctor uses household drill to save boy
  96. Thousands beaten, raped in Irish reform schools
  97. Sex theme park closes before it opens
  98. 4 y.o. tells police 'My daddy ate my eyes'
  99. Missing evolutionary link finally found between humans and primates!!
  100. 10 year old California girl gets breast cancer
  101. Mother punches teacher
  102. Woman gives birth alone in jail cell
  103. 2 Russian tourists challenge Florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines
  104. Sheriff: Louisiana 8th-grader planned school shooting
  105. Man is shot near Harvard University dorm doorway
  106. Los Angeles MTA security guards accused of roughing up commuters
  107. Coke in the air
  108. Woman discovers $271,366 extra in her bank account
  109. Trekkie turns his home into Starship
  110. Pregnant woman, 66, set to be oldest woman to give birth in Britain
  111. US teenager holds up cafe with banana - then eats it
  112. Woman gives birth to twins with different fathers
  113. Interview with 2009 Masturbate-A-Thon Champion. He 'trained a lot'.
  114. Boom in tiny bedbugs is causing big trouble
  115. 3 fired, 2 resign after Florida prisons shock kids
  116. Stop the press! Teens drink to get drunk..and use alcohol content on bottles to help!
  117. Sugar Daddy sites attract sexual blackmailers
  118. Man tried to hire prostitute for his 14 year old son
  119. The husband hunting bra
  120. 2 Yellowstone workers fired after urinating in geyser
  121. 60-year-old is oldest Army soldier killed in Iraq
  122. Southern California police officer kicks suspect in head
  123. Fridge odor empties office, 7 hospitalized
  124. Doctors baffled by 10-month-old who’s shrinking
  125. New Zealand fugitive finds infamy
  126. Tattooed man pledges to donate his skin to National Gallery
  127. Centuries-old torture instruments for sale
  128. Luggage sucked into plane engine
  129. Waffle House waitress shoots at customer and goes back to work
  130. Toddler killed after wandering into path of rollercoaster at London funfair
  131. RSPCA hunt man who hurled his dog into the sea
  132. Missouri mom accused of using child to block Taser
  133. Cheerios are a drug. This story is not from The Onion.
  134. "Calendar Girls" doing it all over again for the 10th anniversary
  135. Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?
  136. Woman dead 40 yrs gets Stimulus check
  137. Twin toddlers wander away, drown in pond
  138. Ore. babies switched at birth meet 56 years later
  139. Mom puts 9 year old girl on Craigslist for revenge
  140. Indian village with 250 sets of twins
  141. I want more handouts, says 18-year-old mother-of-three
  142. US soldier guns down 5 fellow soldiers in Iraq
  143. LA-area deputy shoots boy carrying toy handgun
  144. Michigan man kills wife with chain saw in accident
  145. Texas boy, 7, dies after shot in mistaken trespass
  146. Pingu fan breaks penguin world record
  147. Police: no leads, tips in Las Vegas casino baby abandonment
  148. Gay rights campaigner had secret life abusing children
  149. Georgia professor tied to shootings found dead
  150. Student to be suspended for attending girlfriend's prom
  151. US homeless couple marry in dream wedding
  152. Snakes on a plate!
  153. Bitch kills elephant with bow and arrow
  154. Toddler found alive after days in a forest
  155. An inner-beauty pageant in Saudi Arabia
  156. Florida priest removed after beach photos with woman published
  157. Giant mystery blob discovered near dawn of time
  158. Studies say "Hobbit" is previously unknown species
  159. Ron Paul to Ben Bernake: Continue down path of Socialization
  160. Muslim dentist refuses to treat patients unless they wear Islamic dress
  161. Chuck E. Bleeds - Fights common at restaurants for kids
  162. Trial for US soldier who raped and murdered 14-year-old Iraqi girl
  163. Man admits to using shock collar on his kids
  164. School expels third-grader for ‘hit list’
  165. Swedish couple fight to name son 'Q'
  166. The 17-year-old who drinks a bottle of vodka and eight cans of beer every day
  167. Nikki Catsouras crime scene photos haunt deceased teen's family
  168. Haleigh Cummings: Does anyone care anymore?
  169. 3 found dead in apparent murder-suicide in California
  170. Mother jailed after leaving soiled toddler home alone so she could go shopping
  171. John Bobbitt and Lorena Gallo meet 16 years after she cut off his penis
  172. I'll serve my sentence... but only in high heels
  173. Star Wars wedding: 'May the 4th be with you'
  174. Swiss girl finds condom in Happy Meal
  175. Baby eats 20,000-calorie mountain of food every week
  176. Chinese-made toys will teach your kids nothing
  177. US' first face transplant patient shows face (Warning, disturbing images)
  178. Art historians say Van Gogh's ear may have been cut off by Gauguin
  179. Foreclosed California housing development demolished
  180. Boy escapes family killing
  181. NY school locked down after suicide
  182. Man throws girlfriend's baby out car window
  183. Most lethal driving mistakes
  184. Gunmen abduct 3-year-old boy from SoCal home
  185. Grannies busted for dealing heroin; Pennsylvania sisters, ages 65 and 70
  186. Americans struggle through a day in the recession
  187. 55-year-old has quadruplets
  188. Mother accused of breastfeeding infant while drunk
  189. Milky Way 'tastes of raspberries and smells of rum'
  190. Woman 'made bomb threat' to stop husband gambling
  191. Australian primary school blasted for 'Disabled Dress-Up Day'
  192. Iran executes woman for alleged murder committed as a juvenile
  193. Mother left fighting for life after giving birth to 13lb10oz baby
  194. Baby P's killer stepfather convicted of child rape
  195. Nebraska police officer fired for being fat is reinstated
  196. Knowledge and genius
  197. Banks in Georgia, New Jersey and Utah shut by regulators
  198. 'Alien skull' spotted on Mars
  199. Pregnant British woman facing death by firing squad in Laos
  200. Give the donkeys a rest! Plea to visitors over tourist site cruelty
  201. Girl, 10, burnt in coin-operated tanning salon
  202. Dad who killed his 4 children must look at family photo every day until he's executed
  203. Cars that wrecked Chrysler
  204. 290lb Nurse told she's too fat to move to New Zealand
  205. Couple caught having sex on Queen's lawn
  206. Barbie doll given make-over with tattoos
  207. Father delivers baby with Youtube's help
  208. FEMA pulls kids coloring book which depicts 9/11 scenes of WTC burning
  209. Teenagers who laughed as they raped girl they met on Facebook jailed for six years
  210. Company says it warned officials about swine flu 18 days before alert was issued
  211. Car hits crowd watching Dutch queen, kills 5
  212. 8 Year-old Saudi girl divorces her 50 year-old husband
  213. Radio Shack employee accused of disorderly conduct, battery for punching customer
  214. Father forced daughter, 12, to help him chop up her mother's body
  215. Pajama-clad toddlers ransack neighbor's home
  216. Mother 'killed unborn twins and then tried to blame midwife'
  217. Teacher claims £700,000 damages after pupil poisons her drink
  218. Yorkshireman 'spoke with Irish accent after brain surgery'
  219. Angry worker eats his own finger
  220. A bathroom mirror two inches too high drags family-owned restaurant into lawsuit
  221. Church has a beef with Mormon beefcake calendar
  222. Florida teen finds rocks in Nintendo DS box
  223. Real life costumed superheroes patrol US city streets - pretty neat
  224. 14 year old to be tried as an adult, may get life in prison
  225. Girl of 17 given a £4,000 boob job on the NHS
  226. Mummies and colourful coffins unearthed in Egypt
  227. High court test for voting rights in Texas case
  228. Air Force One plane flies over NYC and startles NYC
  229. GM kills Pontiac, cuts 23,000 jobs
  230. Sharing your life online: How much is too much?
  231. Craigslist safety questioned after slayings
  232. 7-year-old with troubled past commits suicide
  233. Man cut pacemaker from dad's chest
  234. Kate McCann breaks down on Oprah
  235. 3 Virginia men hurt in shooting at Hampton University
  236. Mother gives birth on helicopter, then crash kills both
  237. 70 year old man dies after saving two boys from near drowning
  238. Italian cruise ship fends off pirate attack with gunfire
  239. Motorcyclist struck and killed by lightning in Kansas
  240. Injured soldier gets new face — and anonymity
  241. Jury awards $3 million to former United employee
  242. 3 dead, 3 hurt in Georgia shooting; professor sought
  243. Mexico fights swine flu with 'pandemic potential'
  244. Fiancee stands by Phillip Markoff, the accused Craigslist killer
  245. Parents mourn 11-year-old son who killed himself after gay taunts
  246. America's most dangerous cities
  247. MI mother charged with disabled daughter's death; hiding the body
  248. Facebook surfing while sick costs woman job
  249. Mom charged with trying to sell her baby for $10,000
  250. Company demanding murdered man's rent, says he didn't give 30 days notice