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  1. Some California kids may get 34 extra school days
  2. Babysitter, 15, 'inflicted 68 injuries on toddler as he beat her to death'
  3. Children's life in a 'hell hole': Parents jailed over rubbish-tip home
  4. At a cost of $65 million a year, 700 NYC schoolteachers are paid to do...nothing.
  5. DC metro train crash
  6. Report: Violence common among Scientology managers
  7. Injured veteran won't get new house; he already has two
  8. Teen left looking like a 'burns victim' after Turkish spa treatment
  9. Head over heels couple get married in zero gravity
  10. Ohio mayor mayor breaks up fight, calls kid 'Fatso'
  11. Vancouver couple forced to pay fine after harrassing gay neighbors
  12. Customs finds $134 Billion in a suitcase
  13. Electronic Arts stages fake video game protest to exploit controversy
  14. Catholic mother killed newborn baby from 'shame' after giving birth alone
  15. 'Social workers took away my twins after I'd joked that birth spoilt my body'
  16. Young mother's last plea for a bone marrow donor
  17. From homeless to Harvard
  18. Nestle cookie dough recall
  19. World's most expensive cities
  20. Hotboxing as the new alt fuel?
  21. Puppy killed to make a belt
  22. Crazy Cop Caper #432: pulls gun at McDonalds after order takes too long
  23. First Aussie death from Swine Flu (remember that?)
  24. Pixar studios grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'
  25. Jury rules against woman in download case $80,000 per song
  26. Walter Cronkite seriously ill, could be near death
  27. Texas woman dies in pool year after children did
  28. Police: Man attacked in Oklahoma for bologna sandwich
  29. OMG! Pilot dies while in flight
  30. With a new face, New England man gets a new lease on life
  31. 15 year old runs through obstacle course while texting and wins $50,000!
  32. Man bears striking resemblance to missing New York boy
  33. Ohio teen sentenced in parking lot noose attack
  34. Autopsies suggest Air France plane broke up in the air
  35. Tough times mean tighter pants for stress eaters
  36. Woman mistakenly throws out a million dollars
  37. Stupid chick asks for 3 stars tattooed on her face, ends up with 56, is also a liar
  38. Airline sends little girl to wrong city
  39. New York drivers named most aggressive, angry in U.S.
  40. Attorney defends state trooper in Oklahoma ambulance stop
  41. Porn star recalls nightmare of testing HIV positive
  42. Disneyland upgrading 'It's a Small World' ride seats: people too fat
  43. US cities may have to be bulldozed in order to survive
  44. Rat Island becomes rat-free, is now just an island
  45. Ugg boot fetishist sent to jail
  46. Teen diagnoses her own disease in science class
  47. Father and 8 year old daughter murdered by Minuteman group
  48. Anti-abortionist's baby was a hoax
  49. Irish priest brands abuse children 'ruffians'
  50. Young mom wants tubal ligation, but docs won't do it
  51. Women's prison segregated lesbians, others
  52. US policeman used Taser on 72-year-old woman
  53. California mom recalls death of baby she left in car
  54. Drug suspect turns tables on NYPD with videotape
  55. AIG balks at claims for US Air Hudson landing
  56. Former NBA player arrested for selling fake sneakers.
  57. California Highway Patrol applicant charged with child porn
  58. PETA targets Seattle tradition: Pike Place fish throwers
  59. New York subway conductor delivers baby girl
  60. Nevada students find naked man tied to a rock
  61. Junk science? Gangstas have bad genes
  62. Police: Lacey child sexually abused by adoptive parents
  63. Woman who missed doomed Air France flight dies in car crash
  64. Porn industry reports new HIV infection in adult performer
  65. Car fleeing robbery scene hits Philly crowd, killing 3 children
  66. Traffic cop tasers 72-year-old great grandma
  67. Police: At least 2 shot inside Holocaust Museum
  68. 20 cat deaths leave Florida communities worried
  69. 11-year-old kills brother in struggle over gun/video game
  70. Firm sues dead actress for being beaten - and wins
  71. Mother allegedly used young sons to commit 20 armed robberies in Arizona
  72. Scary looking woman accused of cutting baby from womb
  73. Female nursery worker arrested over paedophile network investigation
  74. "Pregnant Man" welcomes second child
  75. Look what the dog brought in: US hand grenade
  76. 3 persons missing after explosion at food processing plant in North Carolina
  77. Students betrayed by schools that force them to be academic
  78. Baby found forgotten in car at California train station
  79. More outsourcing : Walmart to start outsourcing more jobs to India
  80. New Jersey man beaten and arrested by cop
  81. Jobless man threatens to burn self
  82. An insider's look at the modeling industry
  83. Reality stars win workers' rights
  84. Florida teens charged as adults in locker room rape
  85. Woman prisoner 'roasted to death' after being left in outdoor cell in Arizona heat
  86. Child rape survivor saves 'virgin myth' victims
  87. Oldest serving cop in US dies at age 84
  88. South Dakota rancher wins $232 million jackpot
  89. Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries are not real fruit - woman sues
  90. Couple make suicide leap with body of son after his death from meningitis
  91. Harvard establishes chair in gay and lesbian studies
  92. Woman 'tried to smuggle cocaine worth £40,000 into UK under her wig'
  93. Student hurt in mock hanging
  94. Dozens of Incas killed in ritual found in Peru
  95. Michigan native dies on her wedding day in California
  96. Topless coffee shop burns down, officials say it was arson
  97. Philadelphia mob nabs, beats man sought in girl's rape
  98. North Carolina police: Husband arranged wife's rape online
  99. Mother charged with feeding 3-year-old feces
  100. Birmingham AL police shoot dogs and then arrest owners for being upset
  101. Chicago police officer convicted of battery on bartender
  102. Bernie Madoff's sons bitch and complain about being broke to anyone that will listen
  103. Marine recruiter charged with pimping girl, 14
  104. Store owner gives would-be robber 40 bucks and some food
  105. Did crazy-assed George & Cindy Anthony chase away two mourners at high speed?
  106. "We didn't know he was Clarence Thomas"
  107. California Mom allegedly allows teen daughter's sex trysts with parolee
  108. Houston blogger jailed for failing to turn over PC
  109. Women! You have no concept of the depth of male simplicity....
  110. Air France plane missing over Atlantic
  111. An Israeli woman fails at committing suicide using a train
  112. Military recruiter killed in Arkansas shooting
  113. Former Republican staffer wanted "panda sex" with teen boy (not from The Onion)
  114. General Motors files for bankruptcy protection
  115. "Withdrawal" nearly as good as condoms: Study
  116. US abortion doctor is shot dead
  117. Mother deemed 'too stupid' to care for child
  118. Rock throwing couple say they were playing 'Sex Me'
  119. Hail Marmite, full of grace: Jesus found on jar lid
  120. Man fathers 21 children by 11 different women... and he's only 29
  121. Authorities arrest mom for medical neglect of 555-pound teen
  122. $1M bail for woman held in abduction hoax case
  123. Bull catches matador and tears an eight-inch hole in his side. Shame
  124. Siberian police rescue girl, 5, raised by dogs
  125. Oklahoma druggist arrested for killing holdup man
  126. High School elects first openly gay male prom "queen"
  127. Quick-thinking pizza man leads cops to rape victim
  128. Woman whose arms/legs were amputated given 2nd chance to sue doctors
  129. 'Vulture' shoppers circle Chrysler dealers
  130. Move over Ebola: Lujo, the hot new virus from Africa, will kill you twice as fast
  131. San Francisco Zoo settles with brothers in tiger attack
  132. Ohio man planned to have sex with teens
  133. Mother finds missing son after 27 yrs--on Facebook
  134. Female teacher caught having sex w/14 yr old student in the classroom
  135. Helicopter mothering taken to a new low
  136. Toddler awakes from coma singing ABBA
  137. Some sobering stats on texting while driving
  138. Wikipedia to Scientology: Get the f%#"k out.
  139. 7 ways to annoy a flight attendant
  140. Army base battles rash of suicides
  141. Toddler shoots younger brother
  142. Apartments, fields searched for Michigan girl, 5
  143. Police dog, alone in SUV, dies - probe launched
  144. 4 bodies found in vacant funeral home, may have been there since 2006
  145. Starbucks target of new-media campaign by union
  146. Calgary man complains of insect in Tim Hortons chili
  147. Deal in Brazil fashion race row
  148. DMV bans being happy
  149. Prison-style Study Ball keeps students shackled to desk
  150. Woman loses weight on Red Bull only diet; is surprised to have ongoing heart problems
  151. Man, police officer hurt saving 2 from train crash
  152. Mike Tyson's daughter in critical condition
  153. Crisis spurs spike in 'suburban survivalists'
  154. Tennessee woman accused of hurling baby in car seat
  155. They're blowing up Starbucks!
  156. Chk-Chk Boom chick Clare Werbeloff made up Sydney shooting account
  157. Racially segregated proms still held in Georgia. WTF?
  158. Outrage as mother of Baby P is given a 'soft' jail sentence
  159. Teacher sacked for spraying smelly nursery pupils with air freshener
  160. Sextuplets born to British mother
  161. Passer-by pushes suicide jumper in south China
  162. Mother tries to pray away illness, daughter dies instead; Jury convicts mum of murder
  163. 'Abused' 14 year old shoots dad in head
  164. Toddler buys earth moving equipment online
  165. Mary Kay Letourneau hosts `Hot for Teacher' night at bar
  166. Man arrested for f*cking his dog
  167. 2 kids inside California home as parents killed
  168. New Mexico mom charged with killing son on the playground
  169. Real soldiers love their robot brethren
  170. Real fat dead bitch hauled away on flatbed to embarrassment of family
  171. The 1 step guide to not get caught shoplifting: THROW BABIES AT PEOPLE
  172. New Zealand couple withdraws money, flees after bank error
  173. News reporter busted for DUI, has epic bangs for mugshot
  174. Research reveals how Down Syndrome shields against cancer
  175. 13 year old cancer patient and his mother on the run
  176. Three middle school girls attempt to rape boy on the school bus
  177. Brave schoolgirl, eight, becomes youngest Briton to battle ovarian cancer
  178. Heading to a national park? Now you can pack heat
  179. Ten year old girl claims she was raped at school
  180. 2010 Olympic torch looks like huge joint
  181. 5 Alabama officers fired for beating caught on tape
  182. Australian doctor uses household drill to save boy
  183. Thousands beaten, raped in Irish reform schools
  184. Sex theme park closes before it opens
  185. 4 y.o. tells police 'My daddy ate my eyes'
  186. Missing evolutionary link finally found between humans and primates!!
  187. 10 year old California girl gets breast cancer
  188. Mother punches teacher
  189. Woman gives birth alone in jail cell
  190. 2 Russian tourists challenge Florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines
  191. Sheriff: Louisiana 8th-grader planned school shooting
  192. Man is shot near Harvard University dorm doorway
  193. Los Angeles MTA security guards accused of roughing up commuters
  194. Coke in the air
  195. Woman discovers $271,366 extra in her bank account
  196. Trekkie turns his home into Starship
  197. Pregnant woman, 66, set to be oldest woman to give birth in Britain
  198. US teenager holds up cafe with banana - then eats it
  199. Woman gives birth to twins with different fathers
  200. Interview with 2009 Masturbate-A-Thon Champion. He 'trained a lot'.
  201. Boom in tiny bedbugs is causing big trouble
  202. 3 fired, 2 resign after Florida prisons shock kids
  203. Stop the press! Teens drink to get drunk..and use alcohol content on bottles to help!
  204. Sugar Daddy sites attract sexual blackmailers
  205. Man tried to hire prostitute for his 14 year old son
  206. The husband hunting bra
  207. 2 Yellowstone workers fired after urinating in geyser
  208. 60-year-old is oldest Army soldier killed in Iraq
  209. Southern California police officer kicks suspect in head
  210. Fridge odor empties office, 7 hospitalized
  211. Doctors baffled by 10-month-old who’s shrinking
  212. New Zealand fugitive finds infamy
  213. Tattooed man pledges to donate his skin to National Gallery
  214. Centuries-old torture instruments for sale
  215. Luggage sucked into plane engine
  216. Waffle House waitress shoots at customer and goes back to work
  217. Toddler killed after wandering into path of rollercoaster at London funfair
  218. RSPCA hunt man who hurled his dog into the sea
  219. Missouri mom accused of using child to block Taser
  220. Cheerios are a drug. This story is not from The Onion.
  221. "Calendar Girls" doing it all over again for the 10th anniversary
  222. Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?
  223. Woman dead 40 yrs gets Stimulus check
  224. Twin toddlers wander away, drown in pond
  225. Ore. babies switched at birth meet 56 years later
  226. Mom puts 9 year old girl on Craigslist for revenge
  227. Indian village with 250 sets of twins
  228. I want more handouts, says 18-year-old mother-of-three
  229. US soldier guns down 5 fellow soldiers in Iraq
  230. LA-area deputy shoots boy carrying toy handgun
  231. Michigan man kills wife with chain saw in accident
  232. Texas boy, 7, dies after shot in mistaken trespass
  233. Pingu fan breaks penguin world record
  234. Police: no leads, tips in Las Vegas casino baby abandonment
  235. Gay rights campaigner had secret life abusing children
  236. Georgia professor tied to shootings found dead
  237. Student to be suspended for attending girlfriend's prom
  238. US homeless couple marry in dream wedding
  239. Snakes on a plate!
  240. Bitch kills elephant with bow and arrow
  241. Toddler found alive after days in a forest
  242. An inner-beauty pageant in Saudi Arabia
  243. Florida priest removed after beach photos with woman published
  244. Giant mystery blob discovered near dawn of time
  245. Studies say "Hobbit" is previously unknown species
  246. Ron Paul to Ben Bernake: Continue down path of Socialization
  247. Muslim dentist refuses to treat patients unless they wear Islamic dress
  248. Chuck E. Bleeds - Fights common at restaurants for kids
  249. Trial for US soldier who raped and murdered 14-year-old Iraqi girl
  250. Man admits to using shock collar on his kids