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  1. Junk science? Gangstas have bad genes
  2. Police: Lacey child sexually abused by adoptive parents
  3. Woman who missed doomed Air France flight dies in car crash
  4. Porn industry reports new HIV infection in adult performer
  5. Car fleeing robbery scene hits Philly crowd, killing 3 children
  6. Traffic cop tasers 72-year-old great grandma
  7. Police: At least 2 shot inside Holocaust Museum
  8. 20 cat deaths leave Florida communities worried
  9. 11-year-old kills brother in struggle over gun/video game
  10. Firm sues dead actress for being beaten - and wins
  11. Mother allegedly used young sons to commit 20 armed robberies in Arizona
  12. Scary looking woman accused of cutting baby from womb
  13. Female nursery worker arrested over paedophile network investigation
  14. "Pregnant Man" welcomes second child
  15. Look what the dog brought in: US hand grenade
  16. 3 persons missing after explosion at food processing plant in North Carolina
  17. Students betrayed by schools that force them to be academic
  18. Baby found forgotten in car at California train station
  19. More outsourcing : Walmart to start outsourcing more jobs to India
  20. New Jersey man beaten and arrested by cop
  21. Jobless man threatens to burn self
  22. An insider's look at the modeling industry
  23. Reality stars win workers' rights
  24. Florida teens charged as adults in locker room rape
  25. Woman prisoner 'roasted to death' after being left in outdoor cell in Arizona heat
  26. Child rape survivor saves 'virgin myth' victims
  27. Oldest serving cop in US dies at age 84
  28. South Dakota rancher wins $232 million jackpot
  29. Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries are not real fruit - woman sues
  30. Couple make suicide leap with body of son after his death from meningitis
  31. Harvard establishes chair in gay and lesbian studies
  32. Woman 'tried to smuggle cocaine worth £40,000 into UK under her wig'
  33. Student hurt in mock hanging
  34. Dozens of Incas killed in ritual found in Peru
  35. Michigan native dies on her wedding day in California
  36. Topless coffee shop burns down, officials say it was arson
  37. Philadelphia mob nabs, beats man sought in girl's rape
  38. North Carolina police: Husband arranged wife's rape online
  39. Mother charged with feeding 3-year-old feces
  40. Birmingham AL police shoot dogs and then arrest owners for being upset
  41. Chicago police officer convicted of battery on bartender
  42. Bernie Madoff's sons bitch and complain about being broke to anyone that will listen
  43. Marine recruiter charged with pimping girl, 14
  44. Store owner gives would-be robber 40 bucks and some food
  45. Did crazy-assed George & Cindy Anthony chase away two mourners at high speed?
  46. "We didn't know he was Clarence Thomas"
  47. California Mom allegedly allows teen daughter's sex trysts with parolee
  48. Houston blogger jailed for failing to turn over PC
  49. Women! You have no concept of the depth of male simplicity....
  50. Air France plane missing over Atlantic
  51. An Israeli woman fails at committing suicide using a train
  52. Military recruiter killed in Arkansas shooting
  53. Former Republican staffer wanted "panda sex" with teen boy (not from The Onion)
  54. General Motors files for bankruptcy protection
  55. "Withdrawal" nearly as good as condoms: Study
  56. US abortion doctor is shot dead
  57. Mother deemed 'too stupid' to care for child
  58. Rock throwing couple say they were playing 'Sex Me'
  59. Hail Marmite, full of grace: Jesus found on jar lid
  60. Man fathers 21 children by 11 different women... and he's only 29
  61. Authorities arrest mom for medical neglect of 555-pound teen
  62. $1M bail for woman held in abduction hoax case
  63. Bull catches matador and tears an eight-inch hole in his side. Shame
  64. Siberian police rescue girl, 5, raised by dogs
  65. Oklahoma druggist arrested for killing holdup man
  66. High School elects first openly gay male prom "queen"
  67. Quick-thinking pizza man leads cops to rape victim
  68. Woman whose arms/legs were amputated given 2nd chance to sue doctors
  69. 'Vulture' shoppers circle Chrysler dealers
  70. Move over Ebola: Lujo, the hot new virus from Africa, will kill you twice as fast
  71. San Francisco Zoo settles with brothers in tiger attack
  72. Ohio man planned to have sex with teens
  73. Mother finds missing son after 27 yrs--on Facebook
  74. Female teacher caught having sex w/14 yr old student in the classroom
  75. Helicopter mothering taken to a new low
  76. Toddler awakes from coma singing ABBA
  77. Some sobering stats on texting while driving
  78. Wikipedia to Scientology: Get the f%#"k out.
  79. 7 ways to annoy a flight attendant
  80. Army base battles rash of suicides
  81. Toddler shoots younger brother
  82. Apartments, fields searched for Michigan girl, 5
  83. Police dog, alone in SUV, dies - probe launched
  84. 4 bodies found in vacant funeral home, may have been there since 2006
  85. Starbucks target of new-media campaign by union
  86. Calgary man complains of insect in Tim Hortons chili
  87. Deal in Brazil fashion race row
  88. DMV bans being happy
  89. Prison-style Study Ball keeps students shackled to desk
  90. Woman loses weight on Red Bull only diet; is surprised to have ongoing heart problems
  91. Man, police officer hurt saving 2 from train crash
  92. Mike Tyson's daughter in critical condition
  93. Crisis spurs spike in 'suburban survivalists'
  94. Tennessee woman accused of hurling baby in car seat
  95. They're blowing up Starbucks!
  96. Chk-Chk Boom chick Clare Werbeloff made up Sydney shooting account
  97. Racially segregated proms still held in Georgia. WTF?
  98. Outrage as mother of Baby P is given a 'soft' jail sentence
  99. Teacher sacked for spraying smelly nursery pupils with air freshener
  100. Sextuplets born to British mother
  101. Passer-by pushes suicide jumper in south China
  102. Mother tries to pray away illness, daughter dies instead; Jury convicts mum of murder
  103. 'Abused' 14 year old shoots dad in head
  104. Toddler buys earth moving equipment online
  105. Mary Kay Letourneau hosts `Hot for Teacher' night at bar
  106. Man arrested for f*cking his dog
  107. 2 kids inside California home as parents killed
  108. New Mexico mom charged with killing son on the playground
  109. Real soldiers love their robot brethren
  110. Real fat dead bitch hauled away on flatbed to embarrassment of family
  111. The 1 step guide to not get caught shoplifting: THROW BABIES AT PEOPLE
  112. New Zealand couple withdraws money, flees after bank error
  113. News reporter busted for DUI, has epic bangs for mugshot
  114. Research reveals how Down Syndrome shields against cancer
  115. 13 year old cancer patient and his mother on the run
  116. Three middle school girls attempt to rape boy on the school bus
  117. Brave schoolgirl, eight, becomes youngest Briton to battle ovarian cancer
  118. Heading to a national park? Now you can pack heat
  119. Ten year old girl claims she was raped at school
  120. 2010 Olympic torch looks like huge joint
  121. 5 Alabama officers fired for beating caught on tape
  122. Australian doctor uses household drill to save boy
  123. Thousands beaten, raped in Irish reform schools
  124. Sex theme park closes before it opens
  125. 4 y.o. tells police 'My daddy ate my eyes'
  126. Missing evolutionary link finally found between humans and primates!!
  127. 10 year old California girl gets breast cancer
  128. Mother punches teacher
  129. Woman gives birth alone in jail cell
  130. 2 Russian tourists challenge Florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines
  131. Sheriff: Louisiana 8th-grader planned school shooting
  132. Man is shot near Harvard University dorm doorway
  133. Los Angeles MTA security guards accused of roughing up commuters
  134. Coke in the air
  135. Woman discovers $271,366 extra in her bank account
  136. Trekkie turns his home into Starship
  137. Pregnant woman, 66, set to be oldest woman to give birth in Britain
  138. US teenager holds up cafe with banana - then eats it
  139. Woman gives birth to twins with different fathers
  140. Interview with 2009 Masturbate-A-Thon Champion. He 'trained a lot'.
  141. Boom in tiny bedbugs is causing big trouble
  142. 3 fired, 2 resign after Florida prisons shock kids
  143. Stop the press! Teens drink to get drunk..and use alcohol content on bottles to help!
  144. Sugar Daddy sites attract sexual blackmailers
  145. Man tried to hire prostitute for his 14 year old son
  146. The husband hunting bra
  147. 2 Yellowstone workers fired after urinating in geyser
  148. 60-year-old is oldest Army soldier killed in Iraq
  149. Southern California police officer kicks suspect in head
  150. Fridge odor empties office, 7 hospitalized
  151. Doctors baffled by 10-month-old who’s shrinking
  152. New Zealand fugitive finds infamy
  153. Tattooed man pledges to donate his skin to National Gallery
  154. Centuries-old torture instruments for sale
  155. Luggage sucked into plane engine
  156. Waffle House waitress shoots at customer and goes back to work
  157. Toddler killed after wandering into path of rollercoaster at London funfair
  158. RSPCA hunt man who hurled his dog into the sea
  159. Missouri mom accused of using child to block Taser
  160. Cheerios are a drug. This story is not from The Onion.
  161. "Calendar Girls" doing it all over again for the 10th anniversary
  162. Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?
  163. Woman dead 40 yrs gets Stimulus check
  164. Twin toddlers wander away, drown in pond
  165. Ore. babies switched at birth meet 56 years later
  166. Mom puts 9 year old girl on Craigslist for revenge
  167. Indian village with 250 sets of twins
  168. I want more handouts, says 18-year-old mother-of-three
  169. US soldier guns down 5 fellow soldiers in Iraq
  170. LA-area deputy shoots boy carrying toy handgun
  171. Michigan man kills wife with chain saw in accident
  172. Texas boy, 7, dies after shot in mistaken trespass
  173. Pingu fan breaks penguin world record
  174. Police: no leads, tips in Las Vegas casino baby abandonment
  175. Gay rights campaigner had secret life abusing children
  176. Georgia professor tied to shootings found dead
  177. Student to be suspended for attending girlfriend's prom
  178. US homeless couple marry in dream wedding
  179. Snakes on a plate!
  180. Bitch kills elephant with bow and arrow
  181. Toddler found alive after days in a forest
  182. An inner-beauty pageant in Saudi Arabia
  183. Florida priest removed after beach photos with woman published
  184. Giant mystery blob discovered near dawn of time
  185. Studies say "Hobbit" is previously unknown species
  186. Ron Paul to Ben Bernake: Continue down path of Socialization
  187. Muslim dentist refuses to treat patients unless they wear Islamic dress
  188. Chuck E. Bleeds - Fights common at restaurants for kids
  189. Trial for US soldier who raped and murdered 14-year-old Iraqi girl
  190. Man admits to using shock collar on his kids
  191. School expels third-grader for ‘hit list’
  192. Swedish couple fight to name son 'Q'
  193. The 17-year-old who drinks a bottle of vodka and eight cans of beer every day
  194. Nikki Catsouras crime scene photos haunt deceased teen's family
  195. Haleigh Cummings: Does anyone care anymore?
  196. 3 found dead in apparent murder-suicide in California
  197. Mother jailed after leaving soiled toddler home alone so she could go shopping
  198. John Bobbitt and Lorena Gallo meet 16 years after she cut off his penis
  199. I'll serve my sentence... but only in high heels
  200. Star Wars wedding: 'May the 4th be with you'
  201. Swiss girl finds condom in Happy Meal
  202. Baby eats 20,000-calorie mountain of food every week
  203. Chinese-made toys will teach your kids nothing
  204. US' first face transplant patient shows face (Warning, disturbing images)
  205. Art historians say Van Gogh's ear may have been cut off by Gauguin
  206. Foreclosed California housing development demolished
  207. Boy escapes family killing
  208. NY school locked down after suicide
  209. Man throws girlfriend's baby out car window
  210. Most lethal driving mistakes
  211. Gunmen abduct 3-year-old boy from SoCal home
  212. Grannies busted for dealing heroin; Pennsylvania sisters, ages 65 and 70
  213. Americans struggle through a day in the recession
  214. 55-year-old has quadruplets
  215. Mother accused of breastfeeding infant while drunk
  216. Milky Way 'tastes of raspberries and smells of rum'
  217. Woman 'made bomb threat' to stop husband gambling
  218. Australian primary school blasted for 'Disabled Dress-Up Day'
  219. Iran executes woman for alleged murder committed as a juvenile
  220. Mother left fighting for life after giving birth to 13lb10oz baby
  221. Baby P's killer stepfather convicted of child rape
  222. Nebraska police officer fired for being fat is reinstated
  223. Knowledge and genius
  224. Banks in Georgia, New Jersey and Utah shut by regulators
  225. 'Alien skull' spotted on Mars
  226. Pregnant British woman facing death by firing squad in Laos
  227. Give the donkeys a rest! Plea to visitors over tourist site cruelty
  228. Girl, 10, burnt in coin-operated tanning salon
  229. Dad who killed his 4 children must look at family photo every day until he's executed
  230. Cars that wrecked Chrysler
  231. 290lb Nurse told she's too fat to move to New Zealand
  232. Couple caught having sex on Queen's lawn
  233. Barbie doll given make-over with tattoos
  234. Father delivers baby with Youtube's help
  235. FEMA pulls kids coloring book which depicts 9/11 scenes of WTC burning
  236. Teenagers who laughed as they raped girl they met on Facebook jailed for six years
  237. Company says it warned officials about swine flu 18 days before alert was issued
  238. Car hits crowd watching Dutch queen, kills 5
  239. 8 Year-old Saudi girl divorces her 50 year-old husband
  240. Radio Shack employee accused of disorderly conduct, battery for punching customer
  241. Father forced daughter, 12, to help him chop up her mother's body
  242. Pajama-clad toddlers ransack neighbor's home
  243. Mother 'killed unborn twins and then tried to blame midwife'
  244. Teacher claims £700,000 damages after pupil poisons her drink
  245. Yorkshireman 'spoke with Irish accent after brain surgery'
  246. Angry worker eats his own finger
  247. A bathroom mirror two inches too high drags family-owned restaurant into lawsuit
  248. Church has a beef with Mormon beefcake calendar
  249. Florida teen finds rocks in Nintendo DS box
  250. Real life costumed superheroes patrol US city streets - pretty neat