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  1. With a toot and a whistle and a plunk and a boom: prehistoric flute found in Germany
  2. Crop circles in Tasmania (Australia) caused by stoned wallabies
  3. Study: Women look away more from abnormal babies
  4. Woman pleads guilty in drunken breast-feeding case
  5. Baby Gender Mentor kit doesn't work, say misled moms suing maker
  6. Chinese woman boiled man's head to cure daughter's psychiatric problems
  7. Nurse quits job over crucifix ban
  8. Woman sues over reunion with child she gave up for adoption after being raped
  9. TV show helps Utah boy survive night solo in woods
  10. Mother’s fight against junk food puts a school on edge
  11. Some California kids may get 34 extra school days
  12. Babysitter, 15, 'inflicted 68 injuries on toddler as he beat her to death'
  13. Children's life in a 'hell hole': Parents jailed over rubbish-tip home
  14. At a cost of $65 million a year, 700 NYC schoolteachers are paid to do...nothing.
  15. DC metro train crash
  16. Report: Violence common among Scientology managers
  17. Injured veteran won't get new house; he already has two
  18. Teen left looking like a 'burns victim' after Turkish spa treatment
  19. Head over heels couple get married in zero gravity
  20. Ohio mayor mayor breaks up fight, calls kid 'Fatso'
  21. Vancouver couple forced to pay fine after harrassing gay neighbors
  22. Customs finds $134 Billion in a suitcase
  23. Electronic Arts stages fake video game protest to exploit controversy
  24. Catholic mother killed newborn baby from 'shame' after giving birth alone
  25. 'Social workers took away my twins after I'd joked that birth spoilt my body'
  26. Young mother's last plea for a bone marrow donor
  27. From homeless to Harvard
  28. Nestle cookie dough recall
  29. World's most expensive cities
  30. Hotboxing as the new alt fuel?
  31. Puppy killed to make a belt
  32. Crazy Cop Caper #432: pulls gun at McDonalds after order takes too long
  33. First Aussie death from Swine Flu (remember that?)
  34. Pixar studios grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'
  35. Jury rules against woman in download case $80,000 per song
  36. Walter Cronkite seriously ill, could be near death
  37. Texas woman dies in pool year after children did
  38. Police: Man attacked in Oklahoma for bologna sandwich
  39. OMG! Pilot dies while in flight
  40. With a new face, New England man gets a new lease on life
  41. 15 year old runs through obstacle course while texting and wins $50,000!
  42. Man bears striking resemblance to missing New York boy
  43. Ohio teen sentenced in parking lot noose attack
  44. Autopsies suggest Air France plane broke up in the air
  45. Tough times mean tighter pants for stress eaters
  46. Woman mistakenly throws out a million dollars
  47. Stupid chick asks for 3 stars tattooed on her face, ends up with 56, is also a liar
  48. Airline sends little girl to wrong city
  49. New York drivers named most aggressive, angry in U.S.
  50. Attorney defends state trooper in Oklahoma ambulance stop
  51. Porn star recalls nightmare of testing HIV positive
  52. Disneyland upgrading 'It's a Small World' ride seats: people too fat
  53. US cities may have to be bulldozed in order to survive
  54. Rat Island becomes rat-free, is now just an island
  55. Ugg boot fetishist sent to jail
  56. Teen diagnoses her own disease in science class
  57. Father and 8 year old daughter murdered by Minuteman group
  58. Anti-abortionist's baby was a hoax
  59. Irish priest brands abuse children 'ruffians'
  60. Young mom wants tubal ligation, but docs won't do it
  61. Women's prison segregated lesbians, others
  62. US policeman used Taser on 72-year-old woman
  63. California mom recalls death of baby she left in car
  64. Drug suspect turns tables on NYPD with videotape
  65. AIG balks at claims for US Air Hudson landing
  66. Former NBA player arrested for selling fake sneakers.
  67. California Highway Patrol applicant charged with child porn
  68. PETA targets Seattle tradition: Pike Place fish throwers
  69. New York subway conductor delivers baby girl
  70. Nevada students find naked man tied to a rock
  71. Junk science? Gangstas have bad genes
  72. Police: Lacey child sexually abused by adoptive parents
  73. Woman who missed doomed Air France flight dies in car crash
  74. Porn industry reports new HIV infection in adult performer
  75. Car fleeing robbery scene hits Philly crowd, killing 3 children
  76. Traffic cop tasers 72-year-old great grandma
  77. Police: At least 2 shot inside Holocaust Museum
  78. 20 cat deaths leave Florida communities worried
  79. 11-year-old kills brother in struggle over gun/video game
  80. Firm sues dead actress for being beaten - and wins
  81. Mother allegedly used young sons to commit 20 armed robberies in Arizona
  82. Scary looking woman accused of cutting baby from womb
  83. Female nursery worker arrested over paedophile network investigation
  84. "Pregnant Man" welcomes second child
  85. Look what the dog brought in: US hand grenade
  86. 3 persons missing after explosion at food processing plant in North Carolina
  87. Students betrayed by schools that force them to be academic
  88. Baby found forgotten in car at California train station
  89. More outsourcing : Walmart to start outsourcing more jobs to India
  90. New Jersey man beaten and arrested by cop
  91. Jobless man threatens to burn self
  92. An insider's look at the modeling industry
  93. Reality stars win workers' rights
  94. Florida teens charged as adults in locker room rape
  95. Woman prisoner 'roasted to death' after being left in outdoor cell in Arizona heat
  96. Child rape survivor saves 'virgin myth' victims
  97. Oldest serving cop in US dies at age 84
  98. South Dakota rancher wins $232 million jackpot
  99. Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries are not real fruit - woman sues
  100. Couple make suicide leap with body of son after his death from meningitis
  101. Harvard establishes chair in gay and lesbian studies
  102. Woman 'tried to smuggle cocaine worth £40,000 into UK under her wig'
  103. Student hurt in mock hanging
  104. Dozens of Incas killed in ritual found in Peru
  105. Michigan native dies on her wedding day in California
  106. Topless coffee shop burns down, officials say it was arson
  107. Philadelphia mob nabs, beats man sought in girl's rape
  108. North Carolina police: Husband arranged wife's rape online
  109. Mother charged with feeding 3-year-old feces
  110. Birmingham AL police shoot dogs and then arrest owners for being upset
  111. Chicago police officer convicted of battery on bartender
  112. Bernie Madoff's sons bitch and complain about being broke to anyone that will listen
  113. Marine recruiter charged with pimping girl, 14
  114. Store owner gives would-be robber 40 bucks and some food
  115. Did crazy-assed George & Cindy Anthony chase away two mourners at high speed?
  116. "We didn't know he was Clarence Thomas"
  117. California Mom allegedly allows teen daughter's sex trysts with parolee
  118. Houston blogger jailed for failing to turn over PC
  119. Women! You have no concept of the depth of male simplicity....
  120. Air France plane missing over Atlantic
  121. An Israeli woman fails at committing suicide using a train
  122. Military recruiter killed in Arkansas shooting
  123. Former Republican staffer wanted "panda sex" with teen boy (not from The Onion)
  124. General Motors files for bankruptcy protection
  125. "Withdrawal" nearly as good as condoms: Study
  126. US abortion doctor is shot dead
  127. Mother deemed 'too stupid' to care for child
  128. Rock throwing couple say they were playing 'Sex Me'
  129. Hail Marmite, full of grace: Jesus found on jar lid
  130. Man fathers 21 children by 11 different women... and he's only 29
  131. Authorities arrest mom for medical neglect of 555-pound teen
  132. $1M bail for woman held in abduction hoax case
  133. Bull catches matador and tears an eight-inch hole in his side. Shame
  134. Siberian police rescue girl, 5, raised by dogs
  135. Oklahoma druggist arrested for killing holdup man
  136. High School elects first openly gay male prom "queen"
  137. Quick-thinking pizza man leads cops to rape victim
  138. Woman whose arms/legs were amputated given 2nd chance to sue doctors
  139. 'Vulture' shoppers circle Chrysler dealers
  140. Move over Ebola: Lujo, the hot new virus from Africa, will kill you twice as fast
  141. San Francisco Zoo settles with brothers in tiger attack
  142. Ohio man planned to have sex with teens
  143. Mother finds missing son after 27 yrs--on Facebook
  144. Female teacher caught having sex w/14 yr old student in the classroom
  145. Helicopter mothering taken to a new low
  146. Toddler awakes from coma singing ABBA
  147. Some sobering stats on texting while driving
  148. Wikipedia to Scientology: Get the f%#"k out.
  149. 7 ways to annoy a flight attendant
  150. Army base battles rash of suicides
  151. Toddler shoots younger brother
  152. Apartments, fields searched for Michigan girl, 5
  153. Police dog, alone in SUV, dies - probe launched
  154. 4 bodies found in vacant funeral home, may have been there since 2006
  155. Starbucks target of new-media campaign by union
  156. Calgary man complains of insect in Tim Hortons chili
  157. Deal in Brazil fashion race row
  158. DMV bans being happy
  159. Prison-style Study Ball keeps students shackled to desk
  160. Woman loses weight on Red Bull only diet; is surprised to have ongoing heart problems
  161. Man, police officer hurt saving 2 from train crash
  162. Mike Tyson's daughter in critical condition
  163. Crisis spurs spike in 'suburban survivalists'
  164. Tennessee woman accused of hurling baby in car seat
  165. They're blowing up Starbucks!
  166. Chk-Chk Boom chick Clare Werbeloff made up Sydney shooting account
  167. Racially segregated proms still held in Georgia. WTF?
  168. Outrage as mother of Baby P is given a 'soft' jail sentence
  169. Teacher sacked for spraying smelly nursery pupils with air freshener
  170. Sextuplets born to British mother
  171. Passer-by pushes suicide jumper in south China
  172. Mother tries to pray away illness, daughter dies instead; Jury convicts mum of murder
  173. 'Abused' 14 year old shoots dad in head
  174. Toddler buys earth moving equipment online
  175. Mary Kay Letourneau hosts `Hot for Teacher' night at bar
  176. Man arrested for f*cking his dog
  177. 2 kids inside California home as parents killed
  178. New Mexico mom charged with killing son on the playground
  179. Real soldiers love their robot brethren
  180. Real fat dead bitch hauled away on flatbed to embarrassment of family
  181. The 1 step guide to not get caught shoplifting: THROW BABIES AT PEOPLE
  182. New Zealand couple withdraws money, flees after bank error
  183. News reporter busted for DUI, has epic bangs for mugshot
  184. Research reveals how Down Syndrome shields against cancer
  185. 13 year old cancer patient and his mother on the run
  186. Three middle school girls attempt to rape boy on the school bus
  187. Brave schoolgirl, eight, becomes youngest Briton to battle ovarian cancer
  188. Heading to a national park? Now you can pack heat
  189. Ten year old girl claims she was raped at school
  190. 2010 Olympic torch looks like huge joint
  191. 5 Alabama officers fired for beating caught on tape
  192. Australian doctor uses household drill to save boy
  193. Thousands beaten, raped in Irish reform schools
  194. Sex theme park closes before it opens
  195. 4 y.o. tells police 'My daddy ate my eyes'
  196. Missing evolutionary link finally found between humans and primates!!
  197. 10 year old California girl gets breast cancer
  198. Mother punches teacher
  199. Woman gives birth alone in jail cell
  200. 2 Russian tourists challenge Florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines
  201. Sheriff: Louisiana 8th-grader planned school shooting
  202. Man is shot near Harvard University dorm doorway
  203. Los Angeles MTA security guards accused of roughing up commuters
  204. Coke in the air
  205. Woman discovers $271,366 extra in her bank account
  206. Trekkie turns his home into Starship
  207. Pregnant woman, 66, set to be oldest woman to give birth in Britain
  208. US teenager holds up cafe with banana - then eats it
  209. Woman gives birth to twins with different fathers
  210. Interview with 2009 Masturbate-A-Thon Champion. He 'trained a lot'.
  211. Boom in tiny bedbugs is causing big trouble
  212. 3 fired, 2 resign after Florida prisons shock kids
  213. Stop the press! Teens drink to get drunk..and use alcohol content on bottles to help!
  214. Sugar Daddy sites attract sexual blackmailers
  215. Man tried to hire prostitute for his 14 year old son
  216. The husband hunting bra
  217. 2 Yellowstone workers fired after urinating in geyser
  218. 60-year-old is oldest Army soldier killed in Iraq
  219. Southern California police officer kicks suspect in head
  220. Fridge odor empties office, 7 hospitalized
  221. Doctors baffled by 10-month-old who’s shrinking
  222. New Zealand fugitive finds infamy
  223. Tattooed man pledges to donate his skin to National Gallery
  224. Centuries-old torture instruments for sale
  225. Luggage sucked into plane engine
  226. Waffle House waitress shoots at customer and goes back to work
  227. Toddler killed after wandering into path of rollercoaster at London funfair
  228. RSPCA hunt man who hurled his dog into the sea
  229. Missouri mom accused of using child to block Taser
  230. Cheerios are a drug. This story is not from The Onion.
  231. "Calendar Girls" doing it all over again for the 10th anniversary
  232. Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?
  233. Woman dead 40 yrs gets Stimulus check
  234. Twin toddlers wander away, drown in pond
  235. Ore. babies switched at birth meet 56 years later
  236. Mom puts 9 year old girl on Craigslist for revenge
  237. Indian village with 250 sets of twins
  238. I want more handouts, says 18-year-old mother-of-three
  239. US soldier guns down 5 fellow soldiers in Iraq
  240. LA-area deputy shoots boy carrying toy handgun
  241. Michigan man kills wife with chain saw in accident
  242. Texas boy, 7, dies after shot in mistaken trespass
  243. Pingu fan breaks penguin world record
  244. Police: no leads, tips in Las Vegas casino baby abandonment
  245. Gay rights campaigner had secret life abusing children
  246. Georgia professor tied to shootings found dead
  247. Student to be suspended for attending girlfriend's prom
  248. US homeless couple marry in dream wedding
  249. Snakes on a plate!
  250. Bitch kills elephant with bow and arrow