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  1. Store owner gives would-be robber 40 bucks and some food
  2. Did crazy-assed George & Cindy Anthony chase away two mourners at high speed?
  3. "We didn't know he was Clarence Thomas"
  4. California Mom allegedly allows teen daughter's sex trysts with parolee
  5. Houston blogger jailed for failing to turn over PC
  6. Women! You have no concept of the depth of male simplicity....
  7. Air France plane missing over Atlantic
  8. An Israeli woman fails at committing suicide using a train
  9. Military recruiter killed in Arkansas shooting
  10. Former Republican staffer wanted "panda sex" with teen boy (not from The Onion)
  11. General Motors files for bankruptcy protection
  12. "Withdrawal" nearly as good as condoms: Study
  13. US abortion doctor is shot dead
  14. Mother deemed 'too stupid' to care for child
  15. Rock throwing couple say they were playing 'Sex Me'
  16. Hail Marmite, full of grace: Jesus found on jar lid
  17. Man fathers 21 children by 11 different women... and he's only 29
  18. Authorities arrest mom for medical neglect of 555-pound teen
  19. $1M bail for woman held in abduction hoax case
  20. Bull catches matador and tears an eight-inch hole in his side. Shame
  21. Siberian police rescue girl, 5, raised by dogs
  22. Oklahoma druggist arrested for killing holdup man
  23. High School elects first openly gay male prom "queen"
  24. Quick-thinking pizza man leads cops to rape victim
  25. Woman whose arms/legs were amputated given 2nd chance to sue doctors
  26. 'Vulture' shoppers circle Chrysler dealers
  27. Move over Ebola: Lujo, the hot new virus from Africa, will kill you twice as fast
  28. San Francisco Zoo settles with brothers in tiger attack
  29. Ohio man planned to have sex with teens
  30. Mother finds missing son after 27 yrs--on Facebook
  31. Female teacher caught having sex w/14 yr old student in the classroom
  32. Helicopter mothering taken to a new low
  33. Toddler awakes from coma singing ABBA
  34. Some sobering stats on texting while driving
  35. Wikipedia to Scientology: Get the f%#"k out.
  36. 7 ways to annoy a flight attendant
  37. Army base battles rash of suicides
  38. Toddler shoots younger brother
  39. Apartments, fields searched for Michigan girl, 5
  40. Police dog, alone in SUV, dies - probe launched
  41. 4 bodies found in vacant funeral home, may have been there since 2006
  42. Starbucks target of new-media campaign by union
  43. Calgary man complains of insect in Tim Hortons chili
  44. Deal in Brazil fashion race row
  45. DMV bans being happy
  46. Prison-style Study Ball keeps students shackled to desk
  47. Woman loses weight on Red Bull only diet; is surprised to have ongoing heart problems
  48. Man, police officer hurt saving 2 from train crash
  49. Mike Tyson's daughter in critical condition
  50. Crisis spurs spike in 'suburban survivalists'
  51. Tennessee woman accused of hurling baby in car seat
  52. They're blowing up Starbucks!
  53. Chk-Chk Boom chick Clare Werbeloff made up Sydney shooting account
  54. Racially segregated proms still held in Georgia. WTF?
  55. Outrage as mother of Baby P is given a 'soft' jail sentence
  56. Teacher sacked for spraying smelly nursery pupils with air freshener
  57. Sextuplets born to British mother
  58. Passer-by pushes suicide jumper in south China
  59. Mother tries to pray away illness, daughter dies instead; Jury convicts mum of murder
  60. 'Abused' 14 year old shoots dad in head
  61. Toddler buys earth moving equipment online
  62. Mary Kay Letourneau hosts `Hot for Teacher' night at bar
  63. Man arrested for f*cking his dog
  64. 2 kids inside California home as parents killed
  65. New Mexico mom charged with killing son on the playground
  66. Real soldiers love their robot brethren
  67. Real fat dead bitch hauled away on flatbed to embarrassment of family
  68. The 1 step guide to not get caught shoplifting: THROW BABIES AT PEOPLE
  69. New Zealand couple withdraws money, flees after bank error
  70. News reporter busted for DUI, has epic bangs for mugshot
  71. Research reveals how Down Syndrome shields against cancer
  72. 13 year old cancer patient and his mother on the run
  73. Three middle school girls attempt to rape boy on the school bus
  74. Brave schoolgirl, eight, becomes youngest Briton to battle ovarian cancer
  75. Heading to a national park? Now you can pack heat
  76. Ten year old girl claims she was raped at school
  77. 2010 Olympic torch looks like huge joint
  78. 5 Alabama officers fired for beating caught on tape
  79. Australian doctor uses household drill to save boy
  80. Thousands beaten, raped in Irish reform schools
  81. Sex theme park closes before it opens
  82. 4 y.o. tells police 'My daddy ate my eyes'
  83. Missing evolutionary link finally found between humans and primates!!
  84. 10 year old California girl gets breast cancer
  85. Mother punches teacher
  86. Woman gives birth alone in jail cell
  87. 2 Russian tourists challenge Florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines
  88. Sheriff: Louisiana 8th-grader planned school shooting
  89. Man is shot near Harvard University dorm doorway
  90. Los Angeles MTA security guards accused of roughing up commuters
  91. Coke in the air
  92. Woman discovers $271,366 extra in her bank account
  93. Trekkie turns his home into Starship
  94. Pregnant woman, 66, set to be oldest woman to give birth in Britain
  95. US teenager holds up cafe with banana - then eats it
  96. Woman gives birth to twins with different fathers
  97. Interview with 2009 Masturbate-A-Thon Champion. He 'trained a lot'.
  98. Boom in tiny bedbugs is causing big trouble
  99. 3 fired, 2 resign after Florida prisons shock kids
  100. Stop the press! Teens drink to get drunk..and use alcohol content on bottles to help!
  101. Sugar Daddy sites attract sexual blackmailers
  102. Man tried to hire prostitute for his 14 year old son
  103. The husband hunting bra
  104. 2 Yellowstone workers fired after urinating in geyser
  105. 60-year-old is oldest Army soldier killed in Iraq
  106. Southern California police officer kicks suspect in head
  107. Fridge odor empties office, 7 hospitalized
  108. Doctors baffled by 10-month-old who’s shrinking
  109. New Zealand fugitive finds infamy
  110. Tattooed man pledges to donate his skin to National Gallery
  111. Centuries-old torture instruments for sale
  112. Luggage sucked into plane engine
  113. Waffle House waitress shoots at customer and goes back to work
  114. Toddler killed after wandering into path of rollercoaster at London funfair
  115. RSPCA hunt man who hurled his dog into the sea
  116. Missouri mom accused of using child to block Taser
  117. Cheerios are a drug. This story is not from The Onion.
  118. "Calendar Girls" doing it all over again for the 10th anniversary
  119. Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?
  120. Woman dead 40 yrs gets Stimulus check
  121. Twin toddlers wander away, drown in pond
  122. Ore. babies switched at birth meet 56 years later
  123. Mom puts 9 year old girl on Craigslist for revenge
  124. Indian village with 250 sets of twins
  125. I want more handouts, says 18-year-old mother-of-three
  126. US soldier guns down 5 fellow soldiers in Iraq
  127. LA-area deputy shoots boy carrying toy handgun
  128. Michigan man kills wife with chain saw in accident
  129. Texas boy, 7, dies after shot in mistaken trespass
  130. Pingu fan breaks penguin world record
  131. Police: no leads, tips in Las Vegas casino baby abandonment
  132. Gay rights campaigner had secret life abusing children
  133. Georgia professor tied to shootings found dead
  134. Student to be suspended for attending girlfriend's prom
  135. US homeless couple marry in dream wedding
  136. Snakes on a plate!
  137. Bitch kills elephant with bow and arrow
  138. Toddler found alive after days in a forest
  139. An inner-beauty pageant in Saudi Arabia
  140. Florida priest removed after beach photos with woman published
  141. Giant mystery blob discovered near dawn of time
  142. Studies say "Hobbit" is previously unknown species
  143. Ron Paul to Ben Bernake: Continue down path of Socialization
  144. Muslim dentist refuses to treat patients unless they wear Islamic dress
  145. Chuck E. Bleeds - Fights common at restaurants for kids
  146. Trial for US soldier who raped and murdered 14-year-old Iraqi girl
  147. Man admits to using shock collar on his kids
  148. School expels third-grader for ‘hit list’
  149. Swedish couple fight to name son 'Q'
  150. The 17-year-old who drinks a bottle of vodka and eight cans of beer every day
  151. Nikki Catsouras crime scene photos haunt deceased teen's family
  152. Haleigh Cummings: Does anyone care anymore?
  153. 3 found dead in apparent murder-suicide in California
  154. Mother jailed after leaving soiled toddler home alone so she could go shopping
  155. John Bobbitt and Lorena Gallo meet 16 years after she cut off his penis
  156. I'll serve my sentence... but only in high heels
  157. Star Wars wedding: 'May the 4th be with you'
  158. Swiss girl finds condom in Happy Meal
  159. Baby eats 20,000-calorie mountain of food every week
  160. Chinese-made toys will teach your kids nothing
  161. US' first face transplant patient shows face (Warning, disturbing images)
  162. Art historians say Van Gogh's ear may have been cut off by Gauguin
  163. Foreclosed California housing development demolished
  164. Boy escapes family killing
  165. NY school locked down after suicide
  166. Man throws girlfriend's baby out car window
  167. Most lethal driving mistakes
  168. Gunmen abduct 3-year-old boy from SoCal home
  169. Grannies busted for dealing heroin; Pennsylvania sisters, ages 65 and 70
  170. Americans struggle through a day in the recession
  171. 55-year-old has quadruplets
  172. Mother accused of breastfeeding infant while drunk
  173. Milky Way 'tastes of raspberries and smells of rum'
  174. Woman 'made bomb threat' to stop husband gambling
  175. Australian primary school blasted for 'Disabled Dress-Up Day'
  176. Iran executes woman for alleged murder committed as a juvenile
  177. Mother left fighting for life after giving birth to 13lb10oz baby
  178. Baby P's killer stepfather convicted of child rape
  179. Nebraska police officer fired for being fat is reinstated
  180. Knowledge and genius
  181. Banks in Georgia, New Jersey and Utah shut by regulators
  182. 'Alien skull' spotted on Mars
  183. Pregnant British woman facing death by firing squad in Laos
  184. Give the donkeys a rest! Plea to visitors over tourist site cruelty
  185. Girl, 10, burnt in coin-operated tanning salon
  186. Dad who killed his 4 children must look at family photo every day until he's executed
  187. Cars that wrecked Chrysler
  188. 290lb Nurse told she's too fat to move to New Zealand
  189. Couple caught having sex on Queen's lawn
  190. Barbie doll given make-over with tattoos
  191. Father delivers baby with Youtube's help
  192. FEMA pulls kids coloring book which depicts 9/11 scenes of WTC burning
  193. Teenagers who laughed as they raped girl they met on Facebook jailed for six years
  194. Company says it warned officials about swine flu 18 days before alert was issued
  195. Car hits crowd watching Dutch queen, kills 5
  196. 8 Year-old Saudi girl divorces her 50 year-old husband
  197. Radio Shack employee accused of disorderly conduct, battery for punching customer
  198. Father forced daughter, 12, to help him chop up her mother's body
  199. Pajama-clad toddlers ransack neighbor's home
  200. Mother 'killed unborn twins and then tried to blame midwife'
  201. Teacher claims £700,000 damages after pupil poisons her drink
  202. Yorkshireman 'spoke with Irish accent after brain surgery'
  203. Angry worker eats his own finger
  204. A bathroom mirror two inches too high drags family-owned restaurant into lawsuit
  205. Church has a beef with Mormon beefcake calendar
  206. Florida teen finds rocks in Nintendo DS box
  207. Real life costumed superheroes patrol US city streets - pretty neat
  208. 14 year old to be tried as an adult, may get life in prison
  209. Girl of 17 given a £4,000 boob job on the NHS
  210. Mummies and colourful coffins unearthed in Egypt
  211. High court test for voting rights in Texas case
  212. Air Force One plane flies over NYC and startles NYC
  213. GM kills Pontiac, cuts 23,000 jobs
  214. Sharing your life online: How much is too much?
  215. Craigslist safety questioned after slayings
  216. 7-year-old with troubled past commits suicide
  217. Man cut pacemaker from dad's chest
  218. Kate McCann breaks down on Oprah
  219. 3 Virginia men hurt in shooting at Hampton University
  220. Mother gives birth on helicopter, then crash kills both
  221. 70 year old man dies after saving two boys from near drowning
  222. Italian cruise ship fends off pirate attack with gunfire
  223. Motorcyclist struck and killed by lightning in Kansas
  224. Injured soldier gets new face — and anonymity
  225. Jury awards $3 million to former United employee
  226. 3 dead, 3 hurt in Georgia shooting; professor sought
  227. Mexico fights swine flu with 'pandemic potential'
  228. Fiancee stands by Phillip Markoff, the accused Craigslist killer
  229. Parents mourn 11-year-old son who killed himself after gay taunts
  230. America's most dangerous cities
  231. MI mother charged with disabled daughter's death; hiding the body
  232. Facebook surfing while sick costs woman job
  233. Mom charged with trying to sell her baby for $10,000
  234. Company demanding murdered man's rent, says he didn't give 30 days notice
  235. 3 charged in the heat related death of a pregnant farm worker last year
  236. Michigan men charged with burning buttocks of boy, 6
  237. World's greatest church Westboro Baptist protesting school's name
  238. Angry mom leaves bickering kids on roadside
  239. Couple dress as Shrek and Princess Fiona for wedding
  240. President Obama meets Tiger Woods
  241. Twins arrested for murder of mother due to neglect
  242. Coachella concert-goer tackled, tasered by cops for possession of skin, genitals
  243. Apple gets rid of 'Baby Shaker' app after complaints
  244. Amid recession, oldest profession gets creative
  245. Woman's padded bra saves her life
  246. German couple abandon three children in Italy
  247. Girl, 13, battling rare disease that will turn her into a statue
  248. Father-of-three faces jail after whipping children with a riding crop
  249. The tiny dolls made of clay that sell for £3,000
  250. Police search for California gang member who tattooed his 7-year-old son