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  1. With a new face, New England man gets a new lease on life
  2. 15 year old runs through obstacle course while texting and wins $50,000!
  3. Man bears striking resemblance to missing New York boy
  4. Ohio teen sentenced in parking lot noose attack
  5. Autopsies suggest Air France plane broke up in the air
  6. Tough times mean tighter pants for stress eaters
  7. Woman mistakenly throws out a million dollars
  8. Stupid chick asks for 3 stars tattooed on her face, ends up with 56, is also a liar
  9. Airline sends little girl to wrong city
  10. New York drivers named most aggressive, angry in U.S.
  11. Attorney defends state trooper in Oklahoma ambulance stop
  12. Porn star recalls nightmare of testing HIV positive
  13. Disneyland upgrading 'It's a Small World' ride seats: people too fat
  14. US cities may have to be bulldozed in order to survive
  15. Rat Island becomes rat-free, is now just an island
  16. Ugg boot fetishist sent to jail
  17. Teen diagnoses her own disease in science class
  18. Father and 8 year old daughter murdered by Minuteman group
  19. Anti-abortionist's baby was a hoax
  20. Irish priest brands abuse children 'ruffians'
  21. Young mom wants tubal ligation, but docs won't do it
  22. Women's prison segregated lesbians, others
  23. US policeman used Taser on 72-year-old woman
  24. California mom recalls death of baby she left in car
  25. Drug suspect turns tables on NYPD with videotape
  26. AIG balks at claims for US Air Hudson landing
  27. Former NBA player arrested for selling fake sneakers.
  28. California Highway Patrol applicant charged with child porn
  29. PETA targets Seattle tradition: Pike Place fish throwers
  30. New York subway conductor delivers baby girl
  31. Nevada students find naked man tied to a rock
  32. Junk science? Gangstas have bad genes
  33. Police: Lacey child sexually abused by adoptive parents
  34. Woman who missed doomed Air France flight dies in car crash
  35. Porn industry reports new HIV infection in adult performer
  36. Car fleeing robbery scene hits Philly crowd, killing 3 children
  37. Traffic cop tasers 72-year-old great grandma
  38. Police: At least 2 shot inside Holocaust Museum
  39. 20 cat deaths leave Florida communities worried
  40. 11-year-old kills brother in struggle over gun/video game
  41. Firm sues dead actress for being beaten - and wins
  42. Mother allegedly used young sons to commit 20 armed robberies in Arizona
  43. Scary looking woman accused of cutting baby from womb
  44. Female nursery worker arrested over paedophile network investigation
  45. "Pregnant Man" welcomes second child
  46. Look what the dog brought in: US hand grenade
  47. 3 persons missing after explosion at food processing plant in North Carolina
  48. Students betrayed by schools that force them to be academic
  49. Baby found forgotten in car at California train station
  50. More outsourcing : Walmart to start outsourcing more jobs to India
  51. New Jersey man beaten and arrested by cop
  52. Jobless man threatens to burn self
  53. An insider's look at the modeling industry
  54. Reality stars win workers' rights
  55. Florida teens charged as adults in locker room rape
  56. Woman prisoner 'roasted to death' after being left in outdoor cell in Arizona heat
  57. Child rape survivor saves 'virgin myth' victims
  58. Oldest serving cop in US dies at age 84
  59. South Dakota rancher wins $232 million jackpot
  60. Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries are not real fruit - woman sues
  61. Couple make suicide leap with body of son after his death from meningitis
  62. Harvard establishes chair in gay and lesbian studies
  63. Woman 'tried to smuggle cocaine worth £40,000 into UK under her wig'
  64. Student hurt in mock hanging
  65. Dozens of Incas killed in ritual found in Peru
  66. Michigan native dies on her wedding day in California
  67. Topless coffee shop burns down, officials say it was arson
  68. Philadelphia mob nabs, beats man sought in girl's rape
  69. North Carolina police: Husband arranged wife's rape online
  70. Mother charged with feeding 3-year-old feces
  71. Birmingham AL police shoot dogs and then arrest owners for being upset
  72. Chicago police officer convicted of battery on bartender
  73. Bernie Madoff's sons bitch and complain about being broke to anyone that will listen
  74. Marine recruiter charged with pimping girl, 14
  75. Store owner gives would-be robber 40 bucks and some food
  76. Did crazy-assed George & Cindy Anthony chase away two mourners at high speed?
  77. "We didn't know he was Clarence Thomas"
  78. California Mom allegedly allows teen daughter's sex trysts with parolee
  79. Houston blogger jailed for failing to turn over PC
  80. Women! You have no concept of the depth of male simplicity....
  81. Air France plane missing over Atlantic
  82. An Israeli woman fails at committing suicide using a train
  83. Military recruiter killed in Arkansas shooting
  84. Former Republican staffer wanted "panda sex" with teen boy (not from The Onion)
  85. General Motors files for bankruptcy protection
  86. "Withdrawal" nearly as good as condoms: Study
  87. US abortion doctor is shot dead
  88. Mother deemed 'too stupid' to care for child
  89. Rock throwing couple say they were playing 'Sex Me'
  90. Hail Marmite, full of grace: Jesus found on jar lid
  91. Man fathers 21 children by 11 different women... and he's only 29
  92. Authorities arrest mom for medical neglect of 555-pound teen
  93. $1M bail for woman held in abduction hoax case
  94. Bull catches matador and tears an eight-inch hole in his side. Shame
  95. Siberian police rescue girl, 5, raised by dogs
  96. Oklahoma druggist arrested for killing holdup man
  97. High School elects first openly gay male prom "queen"
  98. Quick-thinking pizza man leads cops to rape victim
  99. Woman whose arms/legs were amputated given 2nd chance to sue doctors
  100. 'Vulture' shoppers circle Chrysler dealers
  101. Move over Ebola: Lujo, the hot new virus from Africa, will kill you twice as fast
  102. San Francisco Zoo settles with brothers in tiger attack
  103. Ohio man planned to have sex with teens
  104. Mother finds missing son after 27 yrs--on Facebook
  105. Female teacher caught having sex w/14 yr old student in the classroom
  106. Helicopter mothering taken to a new low
  107. Toddler awakes from coma singing ABBA
  108. Some sobering stats on texting while driving
  109. Wikipedia to Scientology: Get the f%#"k out.
  110. 7 ways to annoy a flight attendant
  111. Army base battles rash of suicides
  112. Toddler shoots younger brother
  113. Apartments, fields searched for Michigan girl, 5
  114. Police dog, alone in SUV, dies - probe launched
  115. 4 bodies found in vacant funeral home, may have been there since 2006
  116. Starbucks target of new-media campaign by union
  117. Calgary man complains of insect in Tim Hortons chili
  118. Deal in Brazil fashion race row
  119. DMV bans being happy
  120. Prison-style Study Ball keeps students shackled to desk
  121. Woman loses weight on Red Bull only diet; is surprised to have ongoing heart problems
  122. Man, police officer hurt saving 2 from train crash
  123. Mike Tyson's daughter in critical condition
  124. Crisis spurs spike in 'suburban survivalists'
  125. Tennessee woman accused of hurling baby in car seat
  126. They're blowing up Starbucks!
  127. Chk-Chk Boom chick Clare Werbeloff made up Sydney shooting account
  128. Racially segregated proms still held in Georgia. WTF?
  129. Outrage as mother of Baby P is given a 'soft' jail sentence
  130. Teacher sacked for spraying smelly nursery pupils with air freshener
  131. Sextuplets born to British mother
  132. Passer-by pushes suicide jumper in south China
  133. Mother tries to pray away illness, daughter dies instead; Jury convicts mum of murder
  134. 'Abused' 14 year old shoots dad in head
  135. Toddler buys earth moving equipment online
  136. Mary Kay Letourneau hosts `Hot for Teacher' night at bar
  137. Man arrested for f*cking his dog
  138. 2 kids inside California home as parents killed
  139. New Mexico mom charged with killing son on the playground
  140. Real soldiers love their robot brethren
  141. Real fat dead bitch hauled away on flatbed to embarrassment of family
  142. The 1 step guide to not get caught shoplifting: THROW BABIES AT PEOPLE
  143. New Zealand couple withdraws money, flees after bank error
  144. News reporter busted for DUI, has epic bangs for mugshot
  145. Research reveals how Down Syndrome shields against cancer
  146. 13 year old cancer patient and his mother on the run
  147. Three middle school girls attempt to rape boy on the school bus
  148. Brave schoolgirl, eight, becomes youngest Briton to battle ovarian cancer
  149. Heading to a national park? Now you can pack heat
  150. Ten year old girl claims she was raped at school
  151. 2010 Olympic torch looks like huge joint
  152. 5 Alabama officers fired for beating caught on tape
  153. Australian doctor uses household drill to save boy
  154. Thousands beaten, raped in Irish reform schools
  155. Sex theme park closes before it opens
  156. 4 y.o. tells police 'My daddy ate my eyes'
  157. Missing evolutionary link finally found between humans and primates!!
  158. 10 year old California girl gets breast cancer
  159. Mother punches teacher
  160. Woman gives birth alone in jail cell
  161. 2 Russian tourists challenge Florida law prohibiting sex with porcupines
  162. Sheriff: Louisiana 8th-grader planned school shooting
  163. Man is shot near Harvard University dorm doorway
  164. Los Angeles MTA security guards accused of roughing up commuters
  165. Coke in the air
  166. Woman discovers $271,366 extra in her bank account
  167. Trekkie turns his home into Starship
  168. Pregnant woman, 66, set to be oldest woman to give birth in Britain
  169. US teenager holds up cafe with banana - then eats it
  170. Woman gives birth to twins with different fathers
  171. Interview with 2009 Masturbate-A-Thon Champion. He 'trained a lot'.
  172. Boom in tiny bedbugs is causing big trouble
  173. 3 fired, 2 resign after Florida prisons shock kids
  174. Stop the press! Teens drink to get drunk..and use alcohol content on bottles to help!
  175. Sugar Daddy sites attract sexual blackmailers
  176. Man tried to hire prostitute for his 14 year old son
  177. The husband hunting bra
  178. 2 Yellowstone workers fired after urinating in geyser
  179. 60-year-old is oldest Army soldier killed in Iraq
  180. Southern California police officer kicks suspect in head
  181. Fridge odor empties office, 7 hospitalized
  182. Doctors baffled by 10-month-old who’s shrinking
  183. New Zealand fugitive finds infamy
  184. Tattooed man pledges to donate his skin to National Gallery
  185. Centuries-old torture instruments for sale
  186. Luggage sucked into plane engine
  187. Waffle House waitress shoots at customer and goes back to work
  188. Toddler killed after wandering into path of rollercoaster at London funfair
  189. RSPCA hunt man who hurled his dog into the sea
  190. Missouri mom accused of using child to block Taser
  191. Cheerios are a drug. This story is not from The Onion.
  192. "Calendar Girls" doing it all over again for the 10th anniversary
  193. Toilet snake attack: urban legend comes true?
  194. Woman dead 40 yrs gets Stimulus check
  195. Twin toddlers wander away, drown in pond
  196. Ore. babies switched at birth meet 56 years later
  197. Mom puts 9 year old girl on Craigslist for revenge
  198. Indian village with 250 sets of twins
  199. I want more handouts, says 18-year-old mother-of-three
  200. US soldier guns down 5 fellow soldiers in Iraq
  201. LA-area deputy shoots boy carrying toy handgun
  202. Michigan man kills wife with chain saw in accident
  203. Texas boy, 7, dies after shot in mistaken trespass
  204. Pingu fan breaks penguin world record
  205. Police: no leads, tips in Las Vegas casino baby abandonment
  206. Gay rights campaigner had secret life abusing children
  207. Georgia professor tied to shootings found dead
  208. Student to be suspended for attending girlfriend's prom
  209. US homeless couple marry in dream wedding
  210. Snakes on a plate!
  211. Bitch kills elephant with bow and arrow
  212. Toddler found alive after days in a forest
  213. An inner-beauty pageant in Saudi Arabia
  214. Florida priest removed after beach photos with woman published
  215. Giant mystery blob discovered near dawn of time
  216. Studies say "Hobbit" is previously unknown species
  217. Ron Paul to Ben Bernake: Continue down path of Socialization
  218. Muslim dentist refuses to treat patients unless they wear Islamic dress
  219. Chuck E. Bleeds - Fights common at restaurants for kids
  220. Trial for US soldier who raped and murdered 14-year-old Iraqi girl
  221. Man admits to using shock collar on his kids
  222. School expels third-grader for ‘hit list’
  223. Swedish couple fight to name son 'Q'
  224. The 17-year-old who drinks a bottle of vodka and eight cans of beer every day
  225. Nikki Catsouras crime scene photos haunt deceased teen's family
  226. Haleigh Cummings: Does anyone care anymore?
  227. 3 found dead in apparent murder-suicide in California
  228. Mother jailed after leaving soiled toddler home alone so she could go shopping
  229. John Bobbitt and Lorena Gallo meet 16 years after she cut off his penis
  230. I'll serve my sentence... but only in high heels
  231. Star Wars wedding: 'May the 4th be with you'
  232. Swiss girl finds condom in Happy Meal
  233. Baby eats 20,000-calorie mountain of food every week
  234. Chinese-made toys will teach your kids nothing
  235. US' first face transplant patient shows face (Warning, disturbing images)
  236. Art historians say Van Gogh's ear may have been cut off by Gauguin
  237. Foreclosed California housing development demolished
  238. Boy escapes family killing
  239. NY school locked down after suicide
  240. Man throws girlfriend's baby out car window
  241. Most lethal driving mistakes
  242. Gunmen abduct 3-year-old boy from SoCal home
  243. Grannies busted for dealing heroin; Pennsylvania sisters, ages 65 and 70
  244. Americans struggle through a day in the recession
  245. 55-year-old has quadruplets
  246. Mother accused of breastfeeding infant while drunk
  247. Milky Way 'tastes of raspberries and smells of rum'
  248. Woman 'made bomb threat' to stop husband gambling
  249. Australian primary school blasted for 'Disabled Dress-Up Day'
  250. Iran executes woman for alleged murder committed as a juvenile