[Fluffy]

Lainey's Love List

The Love List

You can expect consistent and excessive fawning over the following:

• Gwyneth Paltrow The true star of this column and the bestest actress and the snobbiest snot and the most condescending bitch and she would never, ever want to be my friend and this is why I love her.
• Will & Jada Smith A lovely couple even though she's a hardass and probably beats him regularly (in my opinion of course) though there is worry on the horizon. In the shape of a Gay Midget Dwarf. Praise Thetan, ah-Xenu.
• Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Love them because the MiniVan Majority hates them, love them if you love gossip. Because like them or not they are a true gossip treat. Scandal, intrigue, double hotness, jungle sex in Africa, birthing the Chosen One in the Motherland, saving the world one Pax at a time, and two of the most gorgeous people on the planet…this is what smut is made of.
• Johnny Depp No explanation necessary.
• Kirsten Dunst My Kiki. Because she’s NOT blonde and generic. Because she doesn’t wear the red carpet uniform and get voted best dressed. Because she’s young and weird and quirky and totally elitist and the anti-thesis of Jessica Simpson… hell yeah.
• Cate Blanchett The Queen can do no wrong – on and off the carpet.
• The Beckhams She's a former Spice Girl/anorexic lollipop with the most ridiculous tits in the business, he's a hunky football star/philandering pig with the FOINEST buttocks straddling the Atlantic Ocean...what's not to love???

Although she has mentioned in the past that this is not necessarily current. Don't know if anything's changed...