[stardust]

When's the wedding, you ask? Well, contrary to published reports about haggling over the pre-nup, the Holmes family is not holding up the marital proceedings at all. That would imply that they have at least a modicum of influence in their daughter's new life. Which could not be further from the truth. But, Tom and Katie are indeed house hunting in Ohio - part of the deal, you see. I'll keep your girl close by if you keep your mouth shut about our relationship. And they don't really have much choice in the matter. Afterall, Scientologists can be quite convincing, you know.


And finally…in response to the hundreds of emails I've received about the true origin of this child. Umm…like was there ever a question? This baby is so totally Tom's. There is like no friggin' way that some hidden, powerful, high ranking billionaire Scientology alien executive could have fathered it. In fact, allegations of sperm donation due to Tom's inactive swimmers are totally ridiculous. He is, after all, the most virile man in the world, rescuing random normal folks from calamities on a regular basis, jumping off cliffs, and performing his own stunts, zooming around on a Harley with his white teeth gleaming and his hair blowing sexily in the wind - can there be any doubt about how this future saviour of mankind was conceived??? PS. Just for all you amateurs out there…read carefully. And always remember - the GMD is almighty and omnipotent. And so are his lawyers.

source: http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleList.aspx?ID=2642