[Lani]

Like I've said many many times. The media, fashion industry, cosmetic industry and the weight loss industry has bred body dysmorphia. Pick up any magazine and you see the exact same body shape, they may as well just use computer models because lets face it, no matter what size or look a model has they do shape them and change them digitally to fit a mold.

I remember reading and interview with the Dolly magazine editor and she said that they would really really love to use girls of all shapes and sizes, but the designers just do not make clothes to work that way. They make them to fit an 'ideal' body shape.

Also, weight loss companies, cosmetic companies, and whomever else feed on this ideal image. IF we werent made to feel totally shit about ourselves we wouldnt fork over the cash on their products now would we? I've spent easily into the thousands trying to 'fix' my skin. Yeah I have acne, but shit, its a natural state of being - so why am I made to feel like some horrible deformed monster because of it?

Of course, all this logic hasnt helped me. In my current state of being I am just perpetuating the cycle really. Despite knowing that I am meant to be curvy - even if I were super fit and healthy. Despite knowing that women are meant to have a fairly decent amont of body fat to be healthy. Despite all the knowledge I have. I still, emotionally, have no idea how to deal with being and hanving any of thoes things. Food, eating, fat..whatever, becomes the enemy.