Lots of cats routinely live to 20 and older now that food, care and treatment are better. But it is an individual decision, and just like people, some cats have better natural health than others.
I wasn't implying that you neglected her Sunshine, simply saying that just like people, most animals need more medical attention as they get older. Some vets are ripoff artists -- I would call around and see what other vets charge for similar services. There can be a huge difference in price without much difference in quality of care. I know this from personal experience, having had several cats live to be 20 and more.
I am sorry you are going through this; I know exactly how heartbreaking it is.
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